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A very personal issue - Flatulence content

#81
Here you go. These will at least take care of your stench, the loud booming and ripping noises that you butt exudes will have to be covered up with carefully timed singing; screaming; sneezing; coughing or any other loud sound that will drown out your over active pooper.

http://www.myshreddies.com



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#86
During an AES convention in San Francisco a few years ago we had a get-together of live-sound guys at the Stinking Rose. I had a roasted half chicken served with eighteen, count 'em, eighteen roasted cloves of garlic. Absolutely delicious. But man, that night I was very glad I had the hotel room to myself. Unfortunately, the windows did not open. All I could do was turn the fan on high. I was surprised the wallpaper didn't peel off.
 
#87
Bob Lee (QSC) said:
During an AES convention in San Francisco a few years ago we had a get-together of live-sound guys at the Stinking Rose. I had a roasted half chicken served with eighteen, count 'em, eighteen roasted cloves of garlic. Absolutely delicious. But man, that night I was very glad I had the hotel room to myself. Unfortunately, the windows did not open. All I could do was turn the fan on high. I was surprised the wallpaper didn't peel off.
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I used to work with this jerk who thought is was funny to come into my cubicle and fart. One night I had the same sandwich at the Stinking Rose. Plus other wonderful garlic delicacies.
The next morning there was a garlic force field around me. I walked into that guys cubicle and let go with an apocalypse bomb. His face turned white and his neighbors fled in panic. He never farted in my cubicle again. :thumbsup: I probably would have gotten in trouble but no one could get near me.
 
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#91
My guitarist had just opened his antique store one morning and he let out a really bad fart. The echoes had barely quit reverbating and the paint was still slowly peeling off the walls when two elderly ladies walked in. They shopped for a while and when they were leaving one of them said, "You have a very nice store , but when we came in, we thought it smelled bad." He declined to tell them the reason for the bad smell.
 
#97
48thStreetCustom said:
Good news:

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Years ago I read a newspaper article about a study of flatulence that was published in a medical journal, I believe it was. It said that the average incident consisted of about 15 ml of gas. That made me wonder, what poor grad student got stuck with doing those measurements?
 
#100
Intestinal discomforts of any sort can be entertaining, especially when you are bored: flatulence, diarrhea, bloating. Lots of experiments you can do and other stuff like that to break that boredom along with the wind.

Reminds me of a girl friend I was hitting on. She said she was bored. Aha! Perfect segue methinks and so I said, "well, check THIS out then.". Man, it was a seismic event of true quality, a real cup rattler. But she turned novel on me.....as in Gone with the Wind. She never returned my calls after that. Who does she think she is anyway? Ticked me off. :atoz:

Anyway, forget her, I mean...c'mon.. I bet most everybody (except her) feels the same way about it as I do...right?..right?
 
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