Advice on a composition?

[aScannerDarkly]

Hello, everyone. I have been a member for many years, but I don't think I've ever posted anything--or if I have it's been ages.

If I'm posting this under the wrong topic, please let me know. Here's the deal. I am a total amateur, with very limited knowledge of theory (I have been planning to start music lessons again for ages, but for the time being it is financially impossible for me). Anyway, I have been trying to compose a little song and I had a small disagreement with my band mate. I am a little embarrassed to share it and I don't know if it's even allowed, but I could use some advice.

 

[White Beard]

This is the right place.

A little disagreement on a little song = A regular disagreement on a regular song = A big disagreement on a big song.

We would love to hear said disagreement.

Also...

A lot of untrained guitarists: Ignorance + Confidence + Pride = Hubris

An employee of mine recently said, "I cain't read no music. But, you put them numbers in front me... I'll play anything."

 

[aScannerDarkly]

Okay, here it goes.

Disclaimer 1: This is just a draft of a song
Disclaimer 2: I can't play any kind of keyboards or piano (I have actually put a sticker on the A key to find where everything is)
Disclaimer 3: Please forgive my atrocious vocals. I can't sing even if my life depended on it. I actually intended to post it without vocals, as I feel really embarrassed, but then the whole story wouldn't make sense

So, the initial idea was to write a lullaby for my newborn daughter. Anyway, I don't think it sounds like a lullaby anymore, but let's disregard this for the moment.

I initially wrote some melodic basslines as a base for the song. Then I kind of reversed things and used the said piano to keep the rhythm and the harmony. I think I got the chords right, even if it sounds a little too jazzy to my untrained ears. So the piano basically plays chord tones (at least until I find some keyboardist who actually knows what to do with the instrument. So this piano will hopefully be replaced with something more interesting). Then I added my horrendous vocals.

Setting my off-key singing aside, my mate insists that the bass melody should be the vocals melody and I should play a more conventional bassline, to give it a waltz or whatever-like feeling and that it makes no sense to have two different melodies one atop each other. I don't quite understand the last part.

Feel free to comment on my lack of proper training. I'm not really a song writer, but I'm trying to learn.

 

[Malcolm35]

Ok here goes? Your song will need melody, harmony, and rhythm. It will also need a chord progression to move the story along in the song. I suggest something like this:

Write out the lyrics in a four line verse format. Three verses and one chorus. Using a chord progression, of I-IV-V to start with. First line starts with the I chord and somewhere near the end of the first line of lyrics the chord progression moves to the IV chord. The second line keeps the IV and ends with a V. The third and forth line repeat the first two lines. Now,move the chords - one way or the other - to work with the lyric flow.

Melody - to get started use the active chord's pentonic notes. Which one's? The ones that sound good to you.

Time signature (4x4 or 3/4) is left to you. For a lullaby try 3/4 first. Try both and use the one that fits. Hint - the beat usually will follow the lyric word syallable. (sp?) One syallable word gets one beat, two syallable words gets two beats.

Go get your favorite beverage and start fleshing out your song. The fleshing out moves us from cookie cutter patterns to art. Your mate's comments are right on.

Have fun. You are on the right track. What you have is a good start.

 

[BassChuck]

For lullabys you can't go wrong with 3/4 time (three pulses to a measure), easy chord progress (I, IV, V7 and go to vi if you have a bridge, don't go to IV), use a descending bass line and you're gold. If it's for your daughter, the lyrics will be most important, don't like the music get in the way.

 

[dreamadream99]

Yes you need to learn all the things mentioned above, but don’t wait until you do to write your song. Find a musician friend who knows music theory, willing to sit down with you and craft your song together.