Any TB doctors/surgeons? Unique situation

[capnjim]

So I have this really crazy idea and have no idea on how to proceed. So I thought, gee...lets ask a bunch of bass players!

In may 2003 I chopped off my left index finger below the knuckle.
I was wondering if some sort of surgery could be done to attach a bolt to the bone.
I could then have different tips made that I could screw on to the small protruding bolt. I would love to be able to use this useless little appendage.
maybe even a finger so I can play bass with 4 fingers again.
A screwdriver would be nice. Even a small hook I could use for tying my skates. At the very least, a metal cover so I can use it as a poker.
Is this nuts? Feel free to joke as much as you want as I do find humour in all circumstances, but I would like to know how to go about getting something like this done.
Thanks

 

[MatticusMania]

Have them implant a false finger tip that can fire a bullet! Then get your fingerbang on!

 

[BurningSkies]

Wouldn't anything that gets too much torque or too much tension pull it right out and apart?

 

[MJ5150]

Ask Tony Stark or William Stryker.

-Mike

 

[Eric Perry]

I'd have a vibrating.... ummmm.... massager, attached. Drive the ladies mad.

 

[Chebass88]

With a #2 Phillips head, you could walk around and say things like "Screw You".

You could pick your nose with precision.

A bottle opener might be fun.

A cheese knife for fancy parties might be good too!

 

[fenderhutz]

At least it's easier for you to make a shadow dog.

 

[L-A]

Your bone would receive tension in ways that the surrounding tissue is made to prevent. You'd be better off putting those awesome prosthetic attachments *on* your finger, snug with the skin.

Rad idea, by the way

 

[EricF]

I'd have a vibrating.... ummmm.... massager, attached. Drive the ladies mad.

I see you and I are swimming in the same gutter today.

 

[Jim Nazium]

Swiss Army finger: knife, bottle opener, nail file, tweezers, magnifying glass, corkscrew, etc.

 

[G-sound]

These guys might be able to help.
Touch Bionics

 

[Marcus_TheKing]

How about a steel guitar slide? So you can slide with the index and play them notes with the rest three!

 

[capnjim]

Wow..how cool would that be to have a Bionic finger.
C'mere honey...I'm gonna rock your world!!

 

[geeza]

I'd get a laser pointer. It IS your pointer finger.

 

[colcifer]

In high school, a friend and I liked to joke about opening a prostheses store including some rather odd attachments (half a soda can, for instance)...

Anyhoo, what'd ya do to yourself?

 

[tastybasslines]

If you could harness your body's electrical impulses, your finger could become a cell phone charger.

 

[hover]

At least it's easier for you to make a shadow dog.

That was awesome!

 

[Bassist Jay]

If you got a prosthetic finger, you could really have some fun by going up to kids and asking them to pull your finger.

 

[albertofrog]

I did read about how they were trying to do something similar for amputee veterans so they could screw on a leg.

I think one of the problems is where the screw passes through the skin to the bone. Its as if your skin doesnt like having a hole in it and tries to grow over it, or goes septic instead.

I read something that said researchers were looking at how reideer manage, because their horns are esentially bone, protruding beyond the skin.

Crack that, and youre on a winner... does anyone remeber the cartoon "inspector gadget"?

 

[DanAleks]

These guys might be able to help.
Touch Bionics

So, if you have that evil looking black hand they show at the beginning of the video and use it to give someone the "road rage" finger on the freeway...

I can only imagine the look on their face.