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Are you an exhibitionist?

#21
Mark Latimour said:
One could argue that merely by posting anything on the web - even in a forum like TB - you are implicity assuming that people give a damn about what you think.
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I would disagree - when I first came to TB, I had a specific set of questions I wanted answered - a few about gear, but mainly about playing Jazz.

There are very few people in England who have a slight interest - but there are far more in the US and on TB there are some real experts and I have learned things I never would have, without this board!

Over the years I have also felt a loyalty to TB and am interested in keeping it going and in maintaining its standards - but I don't divulge much about my private life and I don't imagine that anybody would be interested! :hmm:
 
#22
Hmm. Interesting thread.


I'm definitely an attention whore. But I do it on a stage with a band, not on a webcam. I am NOT interesting enough to blog my way through the world or webcam my thoughts and blabberings.

Screw "posting my thoughts" on the internet. I use the net for gaining knowledge, and sharing it. Bass gear, muscle cars, and prog-power metal.



















And porn.



[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
 
#23
morf said:
I think you got it all wrong. This has nothing to do with exhibitionism. Its just that the newer generations understand that it doesnt change anything if people know who you are online.

So what if you have personal info? You think people are gonna bother to look you up? Nobody cares.
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So how does that fit in with all the TB get-togethers...:eyebrow:

There have been many with photos and I have met loads of TBers in real-life!

Although I must admit that I would be loathe to do so with the kind of people who are that exhibitionist about their private lives and I've only met people through shared musical interests, strictly! :hmm:
 
#24
Bruce Lindfield said:
I would disagree - when I first came to TB, I had a specific set of questions I wanted answered - a few about gear, but mainly about playing Jazz.

There are very few people in England who have a slight interest - but there are far more in the US and on TB there are some real experts and I have learned things I never would have, without this board!

Over the years I have also felt a loyalty to TB and am interested in keeping it going and in maintaining its standards - but I don't divulge much about my private life and I don't imagine that anybody would be interested! :hmm:
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Bruce, that's exactly my point. It's also narcisistic to think that people care about your opinion on [x] or [y] (lets say, double basses and jazz music) than it is to think they care about your personal problems - views on abortion - whatever. Personally I dont see anything wrong with it, but it seems to me to be a fairly abirtary distinction to come an complain about "virtual exhibitionism" on a forum that itself is basically a way of exhibiting your views on particular topics.
 
#25
Bruce Lindfield said:
So how does that fit in with all the TB get-togethers...:eyebrow:

There have been many with photos and I have met loads of TBers in real-life!

Although I must admit that I would be loathe to do so with the kind of people who are that exhibitionist about their private lives and I've only met people through shared musical interests, strictly! :hmm:
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You're meeting musicians, its not the same thing imo.
 
#28
Mark Latimour said:
Bruce, that's exactly my point. It's also narcisistic to think that people care about your opinion on [x] or [y] (lets say, double basses and jazz music) ...
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I would disagree on that entirely - so TB is a way of pooling knowledge and it is pretty easy to see that the people who are even slightly narcissistic about their abilities get mocked mercilessly - look at the guy who boasted about learning sweep-picking in a few months!! :p

The TB membership is very much against narcissism and this is what makes it work and be much better than most other sites on the net - where it is the "norm" to see 14 year old kids boasting about how (for example) their souped-up car can trash anybody else's, when we know from their limited vocabulary that they haven't even left their mother's apron strings let alone be allowed on the road!

TB is better as it has an experienced core of members who can quickly expose fakes and bluffers and will shame them mercilessly! :)
 
#29
What makes TB a forum where you dont see 14yr olds boasting up their leet skills is simply the fact that 1) there are alot of adults who know better and 2) there are alot of pros who know better

and both of those will post in threads of people boasting to put em back in their place, ever so gently :)
 
#30
Bruce Lindfield said:
I would disagree on that entirely - so TB is a way of pooling knowledge and it is pretty easy to see that the people who are even slightly narcissistic about their abilities get mocked mercilessly - look at the guy who boasted about learning sweep-picking in a few months!! :p

The TB membership is very much against narcissism and this is what makes it work and be much better than most other sites on the net - where it is the "norm" to see 14 year old kids boasting about how (for example) their souped-up car can trash anybody else's, when we know from their limited vocabulary that they haven't even left their mother's apron strings let alone be allowed on the road!

TB is better as it has an experienced core of members who can quickly expose fakes and bluffers and will shame them mercilessly! :)
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You are misunderstanding the point. TB may be against explicit narcassisim, but the whole idea of anyone coming onto a message board and posting their opinion is implicity narcassistic in that it assumes some worth in one's own opinion and that other people give a damn what you think.

To then distinguish between this and someone blogging about their person problems on the basis that they are both narcissitic is somewhat abitrary in my view.
 
#35
Mark Latimour said:
You are misunderstanding the point. TB may be against explicit narcassisim, but the whole idea of anyone coming onto a message board and posting their opinion is implicity narcassistic in that it assumes some worth in one's own opinion and that other people give a damn what you think. .
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No I am not misunderstanding it - I am disagreeing with it! :hmm:

I agree that this is the case with most message boards and that's why I don't visit them! :p

But as I said - TB actively discourages narcissism and works towards pooling knowledge by assessing and scrutinising - so your opinion is not seen as intrinsically worthwhile - but only in an overall context where it is congruous with the norms of the board and in a shared assessment !
 
#36
Bruce Lindfield said:
No I am not misunderstanding it - I am disagreeing with it! :hmm:

But as I said - TB actively discourages narcissism and works towards pooling knowledge by assessing and scrutinising - so your opinion is not seen as intrinsically worthwhile - but only in an overall context where it is congruous with the norms of the board and in a shared assessment !
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Yes, but that doesn't escape the issue that to post your opinion in the first place, you must have at least some belief that your opinion is valid. You are looking at the result of the post whereas I am focusing on the belief "pre-posting". That is the point I think you are misunderstanding.

Whilst going through the TB "debate process" may ultimately lead to your opinion being assessed and scruitanised, and perhaps showing you how wrong you are, that doesn't alleviate the initial narcissism in posting your opinion in the first place.

However, its also arguable that the TB "debate process" encourages greater narcissism because it is seen as a more intellectually rigorous discussion forum and therefore, to step up to the plate and post when you are aware of the scruitiny that your opinion will go through means that you must have even more confidence in your initial opinion's worth. The very process which you think discourages narcissism seems to me to actually add to the issue.
 
#39
Mark Latimour said:
Yes, but that doesn't escape the issue that to post your opinion in the first place, you must have at least some belief that your opinion is valid. You are looking at the result of the post whereas I am focusing on the belief "pre-posting". That is the point I think you are misunderstanding.

Whilst going through the TB "debate process" may ultimately lead to your opinion being assessed and scruitanised, and perhaps showing you how wrong you are, that doesn't alleviate the initial narcissism in posting your opinion in the first place.

However, its also arguable that the TB "debate process" encourages greater narcissism because it is seen as a more intellectually rigorous discussion forum and therefore, to step up to the plate and post when you are aware of the scruitiny that your opinion will go through means that you must have even more confidence in your initial opinion's worth. The very process which you think discourages narcissism seems to me to actually add to the issue.
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Well I was explaining how most posts - especially those about music-related issues - start with a question - a simple plea for help which is the very opposite of narcissism - an admission of weakness, if you like!

Then others will help by giving the benefit of their experience and this will be (self)moderated by the forum members agreeing or disagreeing until a consensus of the best way forward for the OP is found (or not) - consensus is vital to this process and so egos can't really come into it - it is only by general agreement that opinions gain value - not by the intrinsic worth (or otherwise) of the poster!
 

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