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At a crossroads, need some help/input

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by ZonPlyr, Mar 2, 2005.

  1. ZonPlyr


    Apr 29, 2003
    Pasadena, CA
    Ok so here's the story. I'm 36 years old at one point in my life I was a touring professional musician. Due to life circumstances I stopped that and got married and started a family. Now I'm doing a job that I hate, in debt but still playing quite often (that keeps my sanity).

    Now the crossroad. I have been travelling quite a bit back and forth to NY and LA for gigs. I currently live in Michigan. None of these gigs have made me a whole lot of money but they have paid for themselves. I hate the weather here, I hate my job, i'm working my butt off to pay for things I either don't really need or don't really appreciate. We are barely making it here and the job market stinks. My wife is infinitely employable but we have two small children and we both would love for her to be able to stay home with them.

    The gigs in LA and NY are on the edge of really taking off and we both would like to get out of here and make a go of it. She supports me 100% in whatever I choose to do but I really feel like I'm being selfish. I knew at the time when I quit playing professionally that I would regret the decision and that became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    I'm rambling and I guess I don't really know what I'm asking. I do however know that I don't want to stay here and waste away to nothing telling my grandchildren about the days that grandpa used to play music. I need to play or I go insane. I'm playing on a regular basis here but it is so unfulfilling that it's become mindless and not a whole lot of fun. Any advice, input, sharp blows to the head are appreciated.

    thanks, Rick
  2. ZonPlyr:

    I totally identify with what you are saying.

    I too am in the enviable postion of having a wife who is totally supportive of my musical aspirations. We should NEVER forget just how fortunate we are. :) :)

    I know it's a cliche (truism? ;) ) but life IS too short. A few years ago i was rotting away in a job I detested. That isn't living, it's existing IMHO.

    I would say definitely go for it. :)

    You know and I know that, if you don't, you will always wonder "What if?".

    If it removes you from a job you hate AND puts your wife in a stronger job market, she can at least make the decision to stay at home with the kids from a position of strength rather than because she can't find a good enough job.

    I know just what you mean about working yourself to death to pay for things you don't want or need. It's a real trap that many people are in and can see no way out of.

    FWIW, I'm 50 in July. I have 2 kids (18 and 21) at Uni and a wife who would support me in any decision I made regarding my music. We don't have a lot materially but we do'nt starve and neither of us is doing anything we don't want to do. I've never regretted a minute of it. ;) ;)

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do. :) :)

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