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Bats suck!

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Thunderbird91, Aug 16, 2007.


  1. This is long, but worth it.

    Well. Few things bring more joy into my heart than my mom screaming "BAT! IT’S A BAT! EVAN HELP!" straight from a nice deep snooze. Well that’s exactly what happened while all of you were sleeping (I hope so at least) last night. Since I was just so happy to be up, I let my mom know how I felt. I was quite out of it still but I needed to yell something. "WELCOME TO REALITY MOM!" Is the best I could come up with. Don't ask me what it means. After I got that out of my system, I nabbed the broom from my mom, who was still screeching and swatting. I wish I would have had a camera rolling through all of this because it would have been great for America's Funniest Home videos. My mom goes into my room and cowers there for a minute and my sister is freaking out in her room and screaming "CLOSE MY DOOR! CLOSE MY DOOR!" I'm sick of both of them yelling so I have a little mini-freak out of my own. It was pure insanity. I was the only one who wasn't losing there marbles. I just kept screaming "SHUT UP!"

    Then I start kicking bat butt. I'm Barry Bond'sing the thing and this little sucker just keeps coming back for more. During one lull in activity, my mom barrels down the stairs, still freaking out, since she has to get ready for work. I continue to swack him until he ends up downstairs. Now It's in my living room. I make a quick dash to open up the doors and I'm back on broom duty. This one shot I NAILED the sucker. It ended up behind my couch. My dog starts getting a little friendly with it so i drag strider out and tell my mom to take care of him. My mom isn't... the brightest. She tried taking him up to my sisters room, which for a normal dog would be fine. Not Strider. Everyone knows he can't do steps. My mom urges on anyway. Well, he made it up 3 steps then tumbled on back down. For some reason I’m very angry at this pathetic showing so I flip out and start saying dumb crap again. I'm still not very awake.

    Anyway back to the bat. Its laying there seemingly lifeless but as soon as I poke it a little bit it screeches back to life. It flies around and manages to get back upstairs, where we started. At this point I was just starting to think. I grabbed my blanket from my room and i grabbed a sleeping bag. I thought "Hey! it will be easy to just get him flying around, then catch him with my sleeping bag!" Wrong. Harder than you would think. My brain finally totally woke up and thought "Hey, why don't you just put him between the two blankets and take him outside that way!" Bingo. Here is how it went down.

    That little piece of poo was just sitting there on the wall. I take the broom and slam that sucker down. I quickly throw my sleeping bag on top and make a nap sack out of it. I took it outside and let it free. It didn't really fly away. I guess I swacked him a few too many times for that. He just kind of hobbled away. Whatever. He'll be fine. If not, then he should have known better than to enter my house and make me wake up at 5:45.

    ...Unforgivable.

    So here I am, the sun rising, me standing outside in only my boxers with a bunch of blankets at my feet. I raise up my hands above me in triumph. Then I hear someone across the street and quickly scamper in. After all that bat baseball I had too much adrenaline pumping to go back to bed. So I decided to do this before I forgot it. I don’t know what I'm going to do know. Hopefully it doesn’t involve bats though.

    637aykl.

    (30 second photoshop job)
     
  2. I've got sympathy for you- I was up at 5am myself this mornmng and I also hate bats!
     
  3. Dan Molina

    Dan Molina TalkBass Secular Progressive

    Jul 17, 2002
    Murr Town, California
    outdoors = good
    indoors = bad...very very bad.

    Glad you got the sucker out. I hope the dog didn't come in contact with it. Bats carry rabies.
     
  4. Indiana Mike

    Indiana Mike

    Nov 18, 2005
    bats are cool .

    my kids like watching them fly around at night . I have seen more this year than I ever have. Aren't they supposed to eat their weight in insects every night ? Or is it human blood?
     
  5. Dan Molina

    Dan Molina TalkBass Secular Progressive

    Jul 17, 2002
    Murr Town, California
    that's why they're good outdoors they eat tons of mosquitoes.
     
  6. Yeah, I don't have anything against them when they are outside. When they start coming into my house is a whole different thing.
     
  7. Phalex

    Phalex Semper Gumby Supporting Member

    Oct 3, 2006
    G.R. MI
    Bats suck a lot more once they morph into full sized vampires!
     
  8. louieeadg

    louieeadg uncle petey?

    Jun 13, 2007
    outer banks, nc
    We practice in a really old house near the river. There's hundreds of bats in the attic of that place(our drummer's grandad's old house)...Anyway...I've learned a lot about those creatures. Great survivors. One neat thing, even though the house is right by the water, there are barely any mosquitos around outside. We built one of those bat houses on the south-side of the house. A few are starting to move in...Bats are actually quite important to our ecosystems.

    One bat will eat 500-1000 mosquitos in an hour! Wow...
    Yes, bats CAN carry rabies...but so can every other mammal. That's a common misconception/propaganda bunch of malarky...
    Bats are actually one of the "naturally" cleanest mammals in the mammalia family...or genus, whichever that is...
    And once they're on the ground, they often struggle to get back in the air. They usually do but they're kinda funny looking when they crawl around...

    Look it up...
    www.batconservation.org
     
  9. nice touch on the nimbus 2000
     
  10. IconBasser

    IconBasser Scuba Viking Supporting Member

    Feb 28, 2007
    Alta Loma, California
    I don't understand why people don't like bats. They are incredible little creatures that do a whole lot more help than harm.

    They look kinda cute, too. Well, some of em, anyway...
     
  11. thanks! At least some one noticed.
     
  12. Kosko

    Kosko

    Dec 12, 2005
    Buffalo
    My Eagle scout project was to build and put up bat houses in a cemetery.
     
  13. i hate you!

    *points at the bat necklace round my neck*

    :bawl:
     

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