This is long, but worth it.
Well. Few things bring more joy into my heart than my mom screaming "BAT! IT’S A BAT! EVAN HELP!" straight from a nice deep snooze. Well that’s exactly what happened while all of you were sleeping (I hope so at least) last night. Since I was just so happy to be up, I let my mom know how I felt. I was quite out of it still but I needed to yell something. "WELCOME TO REALITY MOM!" Is the best I could come up with. Don't ask me what it means. After I got that out of my system, I nabbed the broom from my mom, who was still screeching and swatting. I wish I would have had a camera rolling through all of this because it would have been great for America's Funniest Home videos. My mom goes into my room and cowers there for a minute and my sister is freaking out in her room and screaming "CLOSE MY DOOR! CLOSE MY DOOR!" I'm sick of both of them yelling so I have a little mini-freak out of my own. It was pure insanity. I was the only one who wasn't losing there marbles. I just kept screaming "SHUT UP!"
Then I start kicking bat butt. I'm Barry Bond'sing the thing and this little sucker just keeps coming back for more. During one lull in activity, my mom barrels down the stairs, still freaking out, since she has to get ready for work. I continue to swack him until he ends up downstairs. Now It's in my living room. I make a quick dash to open up the doors and I'm back on broom duty. This one shot I NAILED the sucker. It ended up behind my couch. My dog starts getting a little friendly with it so i drag strider out and tell my mom to take care of him. My mom isn't... the brightest. She tried taking him up to my sisters room, which for a normal dog would be fine. Not Strider. Everyone knows he can't do steps. My mom urges on anyway. Well, he made it up 3 steps then tumbled on back down. For some reason I’m very angry at this pathetic showing so I flip out and start saying dumb crap again. I'm still not very awake.
Anyway back to the bat. Its laying there seemingly lifeless but as soon as I poke it a little bit it screeches back to life. It flies around and manages to get back upstairs, where we started. At this point I was just starting to think. I grabbed my blanket from my room and i grabbed a sleeping bag. I thought "Hey! it will be easy to just get him flying around, then catch him with my sleeping bag!" Wrong. Harder than you would think. My brain finally totally woke up and thought "Hey, why don't you just put him between the two blankets and take him outside that way!" Bingo. Here is how it went down.
That little piece of poo was just sitting there on the wall. I take the broom and slam that sucker down. I quickly throw my sleeping bag on top and make a nap sack out of it. I took it outside and let it free. It didn't really fly away. I guess I swacked him a few too many times for that. He just kind of hobbled away. Whatever. He'll be fine. If not, then he should have known better than to enter my house and make me wake up at 5:45.
...Unforgivable.
So here I am, the sun rising, me standing outside in only my boxers with a bunch of blankets at my feet. I raise up my hands above me in triumph. Then I hear someone across the street and quickly scamper in. After all that bat baseball I had too much adrenaline pumping to go back to bed. So I decided to do this before I forgot it. I don’t know what I'm going to do know. Hopefully it doesn’t involve bats though.
(30 second photoshop job)
Well. Few things bring more joy into my heart than my mom screaming "BAT! IT’S A BAT! EVAN HELP!" straight from a nice deep snooze. Well that’s exactly what happened while all of you were sleeping (I hope so at least) last night. Since I was just so happy to be up, I let my mom know how I felt. I was quite out of it still but I needed to yell something. "WELCOME TO REALITY MOM!" Is the best I could come up with. Don't ask me what it means. After I got that out of my system, I nabbed the broom from my mom, who was still screeching and swatting. I wish I would have had a camera rolling through all of this because it would have been great for America's Funniest Home videos. My mom goes into my room and cowers there for a minute and my sister is freaking out in her room and screaming "CLOSE MY DOOR! CLOSE MY DOOR!" I'm sick of both of them yelling so I have a little mini-freak out of my own. It was pure insanity. I was the only one who wasn't losing there marbles. I just kept screaming "SHUT UP!"
Then I start kicking bat butt. I'm Barry Bond'sing the thing and this little sucker just keeps coming back for more. During one lull in activity, my mom barrels down the stairs, still freaking out, since she has to get ready for work. I continue to swack him until he ends up downstairs. Now It's in my living room. I make a quick dash to open up the doors and I'm back on broom duty. This one shot I NAILED the sucker. It ended up behind my couch. My dog starts getting a little friendly with it so i drag strider out and tell my mom to take care of him. My mom isn't... the brightest. She tried taking him up to my sisters room, which for a normal dog would be fine. Not Strider. Everyone knows he can't do steps. My mom urges on anyway. Well, he made it up 3 steps then tumbled on back down. For some reason I’m very angry at this pathetic showing so I flip out and start saying dumb crap again. I'm still not very awake.
Anyway back to the bat. Its laying there seemingly lifeless but as soon as I poke it a little bit it screeches back to life. It flies around and manages to get back upstairs, where we started. At this point I was just starting to think. I grabbed my blanket from my room and i grabbed a sleeping bag. I thought "Hey! it will be easy to just get him flying around, then catch him with my sleeping bag!" Wrong. Harder than you would think. My brain finally totally woke up and thought "Hey, why don't you just put him between the two blankets and take him outside that way!" Bingo. Here is how it went down.
That little piece of poo was just sitting there on the wall. I take the broom and slam that sucker down. I quickly throw my sleeping bag on top and make a nap sack out of it. I took it outside and let it free. It didn't really fly away. I guess I swacked him a few too many times for that. He just kind of hobbled away. Whatever. He'll be fine. If not, then he should have known better than to enter my house and make me wake up at 5:45.
...Unforgivable.
So here I am, the sun rising, me standing outside in only my boxers with a bunch of blankets at my feet. I raise up my hands above me in triumph. Then I hear someone across the street and quickly scamper in. After all that bat baseball I had too much adrenaline pumping to go back to bed. So I decided to do this before I forgot it. I don’t know what I'm going to do know. Hopefully it doesn’t involve bats though.
(30 second photoshop job)
