Best of Craigslist

[Paladin54]

Just saw this on the best of Craigslist

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/pdx/3130813075.html

Dear God of Bass Players
Date: 2012-07-10, 12:15PM PDT


Dear God of Bass Players, I, a humble singer and guitar player, and my drummer compatriot, humbly beseech thee to send us a bass player, strong of wrist, fleet of finger, and wisened in the ways of rock and roll, particularly punk, post punk, and garage. Would that this bass player be over the age of 21, so that we may drink ale together and perform at local taverns. May he or she be in possession of a vehicle with which to travel, and professional quality gear with which to produce tones most pleasing to the ear. We ask that you grant us a battle-hardened bass player, possessing knowledge of scales, so that when I say "this song is in E-minor," he or she shall comprehend. May he or she be a punctual bass player, and not a lay-about, a rogue, a ruffian or a villain. In John Entwhistle's name we pray. Amen.

 

[jonathan_matos5]

that's #$%^ing awesome!

 

[fraublugher]

Lost me at punk , post punk , pre-punk and puke.

 

[Deep Release]

They would have been better off just blind-sending it to the Rush Fan Club.

I don't think Geddy browses craigslist...

 

[EricF]

that's #$%^ing awesome!

What he said ^

 

[MakiSupaStar]

Nice.

 

[Munjibunga]

Here's a cool one.

Bass Player/ Rhythm guitar available (Vista)


Hi my name's Ricky. I've been looking on CL over the last couple of months and haven't found anything that really catches my eye so I thought I'd try a different approach. What I'm looking for is an ideal situation. I've been in and out of bands over the past 20 years ( I'm 37) so I kinda' know what I want this time around. Ideally I'd like to fill in a position, either bass or rhythm guitar, for an active NORTH COUNTY band that's recently lost a member. In other words, you've already got a set list, a place to practice etc. I'm not looking to join a cover band or tribute band. Joining a band and making music is a creative outlet for me, I can't be creative playing other people's music. I have pro gear, I'd like for you to have the same, not because I'm snobby, simply because when I show up with my 500 watt GK full stack or 100 watt halfstack and you're playing out of a 20 watt combo...well...it's not gonna be evenly matched. I tune my instrument before practice and before a show. If tuning your instrument isn't part of your regular regiment, don't bother contacting me. This isn't gonna work. Drugs and alcohol, hmmm.....everyone drinks and everyone smokes, by saying that I'm against all of it I'd be drastically reducing potential candidates. Besides, this **** goes hand in hand with being a musician it seems. Who doesn't like to rock out when they're a little faded? I will say this, I ****ing HATE when I've carved a few hours out of my busy schedule to practice and someone gets too ****ing drunk or high before hand. Handle your ****. I'm not looking to make it big or anything but it doesn't mean I'm not passionate about music or I enjoy having my time wasted. (P.S. I cant be around Marijuana. Its a work thing) I'm a super quick learner and play by ear only. I'm self taught so I never learned the names of chords or strings. This doesn't hold me back though. I'm open to different genres of music although punk rock would probably be the easiest transition (FYI I played bass in a reggae band a few years back) I play a 4 string bass and electric guitar in standard tuning. I've never messed around with drop tunings etc. the opportunity never presented itself. Here are a list of bands that I listen to: the Ramones, the Queers, the Muffs, Face to Face, Screeching Weasel, Pantera, Slayer, Cannibal Corpse, Sepultura, Black Veil Brides, Falling in Reverse, Escape the Fate, Cash, Dwight Yoakum, Hank Williams, Merle Haggard, Batallion of Saints, New York Dolls, Chaos UK, Minor Threat, Seven Seconds, NoFx, Sublime, Tribal Seeds, Collie Budz, Albarosie, Marley, Culture...any reggae with a big fat bassline. Anyway, that pretty much sums everything up. Hopefully I've weeded out 80% of the people reading this post and I can work with the other 20% and get some stuff done. Later

... think I'll give him a call ...

 

[A-Step-Towards]

He doesn't even know the string names ? how the hell does he tune before EVERY show then.

 

[MrLenny1]

Only on Craigslist.
Sure is a scary place.
After numerous auditions thru CL I'm
staying home and putting on Pandora and jamin.

 

[Milk]

Lost me at punk , post punk , pre-punk and puke.

I am mainly confused because they want someone to play punk and post punk but then expect them to know scales and have professional quality gear.

 

[Tituscrow]

I thought this was going to be a thread about Casual Encounters :|

 

[DiabolusInMusic]

He doesn't even know the string names ? how the hell does he tune before EVERY show then.

I have a bass player at my jamspace who has four letters taped onto the side of his road case... that is what he tunes to. It is pretty embarrassing but this is only the tip of the iceberg.

 

[will33]

What is " north country "?

 

[BayStateBass]

He doesn't even know the string names ? how the hell does he tune before EVERY show then.

He probably has one of those clip on tuners that shows the strings in numbers rather than letters, and lights up green when you've got it right.

 

[itchyfingers]

What is " north country "?

County, not country. It's what most people around here refer to instead of saying "North San Diego County". Pretty much everything north of La Jolla / Mira Mesa is considered "north county".

 

[fraublugher]

I thought this was going to be a thread about Casual Encounters :|

We're sold out of frisky goat right now .

 

[LiquidMidnight]

Here's a cool one.

... think I'll give him a call ...

If he rambles at the mouth as much as he does on the keyboard, you'll never get off the phone. Although I have to question the legitimacy of the ad, because he doesn't mention Miles Davis amongst the influences. It's like a law that when you list influences, you have to place Miles Davis somewhere in the middle of the otherwise unrelated influences in order to try to appear hip and eclectic.

For example... "My influences are Slayer, Earth Crisis, Bad Brains, Sex Pistols, Mayhem, Miles Davis, Venom, Cannibal Corpse, and Unearth.

BTW, for those not in the know, there are a couple of threads in the Gig Stories and Humor forum dedicated solely to funny and bizarre Craigslist ads. You can have hours of fun reading through that stuff.

 

[BayStateBass]

Unearth is good. I grew up with Derek Kerswill, who used to be their drummer. Actually, he's back around here and has some new projects going.

 

[LiquidMidnight]

Unearth is good. I grew up with Derek Kerswill, who used to be their drummer. Actually, he's back around here and has some new projects going.

I actually love Unearth - a truly great band in a scene of mediocre and boring metalcore bands. I even have their debut on vinyl. It's weird listening to it compared to their newer releases, because they've come a long way as musicians and writers; but I guess that's what working with good producers can do.

 

[DerHoggz]

If he rambles at the mouth as much as he does on the keyboard, you'll never get off the phone. Although I have to question the legitimacy of the ad, because he doesn't mention Miles Davis amongst the influences. It's like a law that when you list influences, you have to place Miles Davis somewhere in the middle of the otherwise unrelated influences in order to try to appear hip and eclectic.

For example... "My influences are Slayer, Earth Crisis, Bad Brains, Sex Pistols, Mayhem, Miles Davis, Venom, Cannibal Corpse, and Unearth.

BTW, for those not in the know, there are a couple of threads in the Gig Stories and Humor forum dedicated solely to funny and bizarre Craigslist ads. You can have hours of fun reading through that stuff.

As a trombone player Glenn Miller is my go-to. Listening to that in a mill got some interesting reactions.