but how does one know where on the staff to put each note?
each line and each space on the staff represents a different note... so when writing standard notation you have to first work out what the note is, whether it's an A or a C# or an Eb etc, and then place it on the appropriate line or space
the low E of a standard bass guitar is written on the first ledger line below the staff on a bass clef... (technically the note sounds an octave below this, but you don't need to mark this anywhere on your score)
Does "major" and "minor" have anything to do with whether you put the notes at the top of the staff or the bottom?
no, the only thing that really determines where you put the notes is what pitch the note is... the terms 'major' and 'minor' are used to describe the character of the harmony or key of a piece of music, and are important to know about, but the general rules of notation apply to both major & minor in exactly the same way... the very first thing to learn is: the lower in pitch the note, the lower down on the staff it appears
And all these notes can be played anywhere on the bass, right?
think of it like this: the notation is a recipe, which tells you the pitch of the notes to play... but it doesn't specify where on the bass you have to play them...
sometimes you have no choice.. a low 'F' on a standard 4 string bass only occurs in one place, so you play it down there on the 1st fret of the E string... many other notes can be played in more than one place, and notation (unlike TAB) usually doesn't specify which string to play them on
Logically they should all be in close proximity to each other for ease of play...but, how does one know?Who will tell me? Where can I find out? Are these even important questions? Doesn't ANYONE do this?
i'm not exactly sure what you're asking here

find someone who knows about music notation to sit down with you and give you a couple of hours in the basics... things should click fairly quickly