ok well, me and one of my very close friends formed a band back in january with him on rhythm guitar and me on bass. we had a lead guitarist, a vocalist, and a drummer but we ended up kicking out the vocalist and we got a new vocalist because it was easier for us to practice with our new vocalist since he's closer. but after a month he ended up kicking out both the drummer and the lead guitarist and we ended up getting a new lead guitarist and a new drummer, as well as another vocalist but kept the other vocalist on backup vocals and third guitar (we were/are a deathcore band). after like 2 weeks, he ends up kicking out both the newer vocalist & the lead guitarist and changed the band name without even running these ideas across any of the members at all. and now a few days ago he tried to kick out our drummer. what do you think i should do? he's kicked out nearly 8 people now and i don't think kicking out everyone is gonna make up for a successful band in the end.
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do you think it's time i leave my band?
- Thread starter slipkorn917
- Start date
The question comes down to: are you willing to be a player in HIS band? Or do you want to be a member of a band where personnel decisions are made by more than one person?
I say if you have to ask yourself then its time to play your own music and really think about what you want to do. I just left a band myself and in a week I am already happier playing guitar and bass in a new band. Seems this guy is only out for himself and his ego will only get him as far as his door
definitely more than one person, i'd like the whole band to have equal decisions. i feel like i don't most of the time. the problem is he makes up his mind too much and thinks he's the only band member but he's not a dick or anything though, he just thinks it would be better & easier to have it be a simple four-piece hardcore band than six-piece deathcore but i don't think he should have kicked out everyone else, plus he never ran the idea across me. personally, i loved the idea of the six-piece deathcore band and thought since all of us in the band were pretty talented for our age and were all into that genre we could do it. we had one practice with that lineup and our drummer wasnt able to show up so he just decided "i'm going to kick out everyone".
good luckFrom your post I'm gathering you and your guitar friend started a band. You recruited a new vocalist who has now essentially taken over your project and has kicked a bunch of people out a couple times?
I'd quit with your friend and keep everyone else and change the name.
I'd quit with your friend and keep everyone else and change the name.
Ive heard of projects taking new turns, but this aint quite the same as the Airplane becoming the Starship.
Yes, exactly....
This would be like Michael Anthony and Eddie Van Halen starting a band. They hire David Lee Roth. Diamond Dave gets fired and Mike and Eddie hire Sammy Hagar. And lets say Hagar decides to fire everyone except Michael Anthony, and renaming the band Chickenfoot. Do you want your Van Halen to become Chickenfoot? Get the old drummer/guitarist back and DITCH this new vocalist. He has a god complex.
it's not the new vocalist who has been kicking anyone out it's the guitarist. the same kid who me and him started the band in the first place. the only ones who are left in the band are me and him and the 2nd vocalist the one who was the third guitarist & backing vocalist during the deathcore lineup.
I am also confused, and wondering the same thing....... Who didn't get the boot?
leave with your friend the rhythm guitarist, call up the vocals/guitars/drummer that have been kicked out that you want in your NEW band, which is really just the old one minus the vox guy that's kicking everyone else out.
Like that?
If so, you need to decide on your close friend or the band. Have the former members given reason to be booted by your close friend? Is he a doosher? Or have you just not found the right fit?
Anyways, your in the passengers seat, and it sounds like he has a tight grip on the wheel. I quit my band months ago from coming at odds with my best buddy playing lead guitars. We both wrote equally and had different sort of styles, him being more Children of Bodom, and me being more Death/Slayer inspired, but the contrast sounded good together. Then we started conflicting on vocals. Originally, I did all of em'. More growly style. Good times. Then my buddy started wanting to do vocals on all his songs, more yell-y screamy black metally type stuff. Still good times, again, the contrast was actually pretty cool having dual vocals. Eventually he decided he wanted just single vocals, without telling me. I came in one day and all our songs had my vox cut out. I bit my tongue... whatever.
But when him and our rhythm guitarist (the wedge
) stopped wanting to play my songs, that was it. I started a band in part to get my music out there. I'm not against playing other peoples material, but I want my voice heard also, so I quit, and I'm happier for doing so. It wasn't easy leaving my first band with all my buds, but I needed to do it.But to pretty much sum it up, do you want to be in his band or do you want to be in yours and his band. Different circumstances, but you have to make the decision I'm sure many of us have faced. Good luck!
Sometimes it helps to outline the problem.
Seems to me that you really don't have a band with this loose canon going off on a regular basis.
Can your very close friend actually play guitar? Seems to me he's sabotaging the situation for some reason.
Other than the Vocalist #1, you didn't give any reasons for kicking people out of the band.
Could be that your very close friend was a closet control freak and is now out of the closet. Sounds like he enjoys saying "you're fired". I say.....Run Forest, Run.....
Or maybe he has problems at home or is on drugs or something. Definitely some kind of problem(s) there. IMO, you'll find out what the real deal with him is if you kick him out and see how he react to that situation when he's not in control. I suggest you do it by phone.
+1 on calling the guys that you kicked out and trying to restart the band w/o your very close friend.
IMO, he's not really your friend, he only appears to be when things go his way.
There have probably been red flags along the way but not really affecting your friendship because it wasn't a work type situation.
It's not your job to help him solve any of his problems. If he does rein in his lack of impulse control, it will only be a while until it pops up again. Better that you're not around when that happens.
Good luck.
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