I have a walking disability and I use a cane or crutches and some days even just having a cymbal bag on my back makes walking difficult. My band mates (and this goes for every band I've ever been in) have no problems at all with helping me move gear. In fact, last night I carpooled with our bassist and when we got to the venue, I was parked next to a puddle and a snowbank and he was giving me a hard time about me trying to get stuff out of the car myself. He basically told me to get the f*** out of the way and let him get everything out. He'd rather break his neck than have me break mine. The only time I don't want help is when it comes to packing my cart or packing the car because I do have it down a science and other people's help only slows me down and screws things up lol
I do try to help them out by using as few things as I possibly need or things in lighter weight. I'd feel horrible if they had to schlep a 50lb hardware bag or a 26" kick. I never run more than a 4 piece (bass/snare/tom/floor) with two or 3 cymbals including the hi-hat and lightweight hardware. It helps minimize setup time anyway so everyone wins.
I do have a rock 'n roller cart that I use to cart the stuff around myself whenever possible and of course once on stage, it's all me when it comes to setup.
The funny thing is, I actually got the "no one will help you" line from my MUSIC TEACHER in school. She was trying to convince me to switch instruments because "No one is always going to want to help you move things".