Living the dream. I've wanted this for decades.
I rarely have played any shows with a dedicated FoH critter and can not bring my own reliable critter on a show by show basis. For us, usually the venue's definition of sound person is the person who points us to where to set up to make sound. I never or rarely have any way to judge or listen what is happening F0H during the show so this never happens and I continue to drag around my amp and cabs. And PA.
To do it right, it appears that one has to have another person not in the band with good ears. I think y'all have more friends with ok ears than we do. Also, it really does seem that everybody in the band needs to commit to IEM or it will not work. These things would rarely happen for the gigs we see and book (yes, we are small potatoes).
Still dreaming of the day. I know it exists. I've seen the pictures. Even been to some shows. Getting the PA setup and the room pinked can be challenging enough for me (pick one) in many of these venues. It's simply a gigging lifestyle that I haven't been personally able to see coming over the horizon, yet.
<sigh> Someday, perhaps.
Sorry to hear that, but I DO KNOW it's far more common than my situation and yes, I've been there... about 15 yrs ago.
Most of the venues I [now] play have their own PA and their own FOH folks.
We bring the band, gear (often our own mics, etc.), IEM mixer and snake splitter so one side of the box goes to our IEM mixer, the other to the House (in most cases - see pic below for one example).
In one venue, we plug into the House stage boxes (they have 6+ on the stage) and THEY give us XLR lines to connect to our splitter snake (and this IEM mixer).
IEM mixer sits on the stage.
With everything labeled, it's a simple setup. Our IEM mixes remain fairly consistent from gig to gig. The main challenge is that most band members play in more than one band (I'm in 3), so input levels from their gear may need small adjustments.
We would use the same setup even if we had our own PA.
One band I subbed with last Sat night used their own PA, but the setup/config remains the same. Everything connects to the splitter snake stage box, one end goes to the IEM mixer (doubles as FOH too), the other goes nowhere.
This is what one of the setups looks like - from the front - with labels (older pic, with labels since replaced with label maker printed ones).
The splitter snake stage box is on the bottom. One end of it are those white cables to the top right of the pic going into the mixer (X32R).
The other end of the snake is coiled up behind and underneath the mixer and would connect to the House.
The other XLR rack is the MONO IEM mix output from the X32R. They plug whatever devices (wired/wireless) they use into one of those AUX outputs.
The new labels now have instrument names not numbers!
1 = Drums
5 = Bass, etc.
Yes, there's an associated expenses, but it's SO MUCH EASIER hooking this up.