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How do you happy?
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That, and bloody axe murders help too.
I don't know what is happy any more. I don't get it. I just feel "not bad". I feel not bad when I ride my bike, have a few (or too many) beers with friends, hang out with a beautiful woman that I like, enjoy the company of. Also, accomplishing something good at work makes me feel really not bad, I guess feeling "not useless" is not bad either.
Making others happy is good too.A smile thanks to you, goes a long way.
Yeah, I'd like to know ... I think I lost the Happy sometime in my teens.
Then came studies, work, bills, deadlines, eye glasses, creaky joints ...
I agree with the previous speaker, "not bad" seems to be where it's at.
Maybe I should go buy another pedal, that seems to help for a while.
Then came studies, work, bills, deadlines, eye glasses, creaky joints ...
I agree with the previous speaker, "not bad" seems to be where it's at.
Maybe I should go buy another pedal, that seems to help for a while.
Thought one: why should you expect to be happy all the time? Sometimes bad stuff happens - you get sick, people die, tsunamis hit, whatever. It's not unhealthy to allow yourself sorrow or anger when they're called for. It IS unhealthy to live in a perpetual mood of sorrow or anger, though, because the bad stuff isn't happening all the time and you need to acknowledge the good too.
Thought two: like Pacman said, happy is a choice. I think the quote was attributed to Abraham Lincoln (rightly or wrongly, I don't know): "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be." You can ALWAYS find an excuse to be miserable or depressed or to complain. You can also always find reasons to be content. It's a matter of what you focus on.
Thought three: a quote from John Taylor, Duran Duran's bassist (I think he picked it up in therapy or something): "Expectations breed resentments." All too often we set our minds on saying "This (my career, my band, my love life) is going to turn out THIS way," and then when it doesn't, we get upset and bitter. Let life be, one day at a time, and embrace what it brings you. Sometimes the failure of one thing turns out to be the discovery of something better.
Thought four: +1 to robus. Worrying about how to be happy can lead to a certain self-obsessed navel-gazing that easily becomes a downward spiral. It's self-defeating. No man is an island. Focus outside yourself on what good things you can be doing in the world, for other people, rather than how to get the world to do good stuff for you. The rest will follow.
Thought two: like Pacman said, happy is a choice. I think the quote was attributed to Abraham Lincoln (rightly or wrongly, I don't know): "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be." You can ALWAYS find an excuse to be miserable or depressed or to complain. You can also always find reasons to be content. It's a matter of what you focus on.
Thought three: a quote from John Taylor, Duran Duran's bassist (I think he picked it up in therapy or something): "Expectations breed resentments." All too often we set our minds on saying "This (my career, my band, my love life) is going to turn out THIS way," and then when it doesn't, we get upset and bitter. Let life be, one day at a time, and embrace what it brings you. Sometimes the failure of one thing turns out to be the discovery of something better.
Thought four: +1 to robus. Worrying about how to be happy can lead to a certain self-obsessed navel-gazing that easily becomes a downward spiral. It's self-defeating. No man is an island. Focus outside yourself on what good things you can be doing in the world, for other people, rather than how to get the world to do good stuff for you. The rest will follow.
This is good. I think having a good foundation for your happiness; family, friends, work etc. is a good way to maintain your happiness on a regular basis. Obviously you cannot be happy all the time, but having a good foundation definitely helps.
I don't know what is happy any more. I don't get it. I just feel "not bad". I feel not bad when I ride my bike, have a few (or too many) beers with friends, hang out with a beautiful woman that I like, enjoy the company of. Also, accomplishing something good at work makes me feel really not bad, I guess feeling "not useless" is not bad either.
Making others happy is good too.A smile thanks to you, goes a long way.
Yeah, I'd like to know ... I think I lost the Happy sometime in my teens.
Then came studies, work, bills, deadlines, eye glasses, creaky joints ...
I agree with the previous speaker, "not bad" seems to be where it's at.
Maybe I should go buy another pedal, that seems to help for a while.
I think what you guys are referring to is apathy. Apathy stinks. When your feeling apathetic, you don't feel like changing anything because your content, not dissatisfied enough to do something about it, at least IME.
Surprised I haven't seen this mentioned before:
"Happiness is not a destination, it is a way to travel."
I spent a lot of years in the state of "Not Happy." Not depressed, not sad, not miserable but definitely -not- happy. But I knew what I wanted and set about creating the conditions in my life where I could recognize and accept happy when it happened. Eventually it did.
I think I could agree with 'Expectations Breed Resentment.'
Not sure I can agree with reach not exceeding grasp, because while being satisfied with what you have is, well, satisfying, I believe that dreams, goals, and aspirations (can) breed motivation and inspiration.
There are many roads to Happy.
"Happiness is not a destination, it is a way to travel."
I spent a lot of years in the state of "Not Happy." Not depressed, not sad, not miserable but definitely -not- happy. But I knew what I wanted and set about creating the conditions in my life where I could recognize and accept happy when it happened. Eventually it did.
I think I could agree with 'Expectations Breed Resentment.'
Not sure I can agree with reach not exceeding grasp, because while being satisfied with what you have is, well, satisfying, I believe that dreams, goals, and aspirations (can) breed motivation and inspiration.
There are many roads to Happy.
I told my doctor" I'm not happy,and depressed."
He told me to stay busy and socialize or he'll medicate me & send me to therapy.
All of a sudden I'm happy I think.
He told me to stay busy and socialize or he'll medicate me & send me to therapy.
All of a sudden I'm happy I think.
Try not to let any psychic vampires you come in contact with drag you down.
That, and recognizing the positive in everyday situations. Not ignoring the negative but just realizing that the positive is there and focusing on it. For me, once I learned to do that I was able to deal with stress a lot better. Less stress made me less likely to get pissed off with stupid stuff. And if I do get angry or whatever it just doesn't linger. Find the positive.
That, and recognizing the positive in everyday situations. Not ignoring the negative but just realizing that the positive is there and focusing on it. For me, once I learned to do that I was able to deal with stress a lot better. Less stress made me less likely to get pissed off with stupid stuff. And if I do get angry or whatever it just doesn't linger. Find the positive.
Years ago I was apethetic, for a very long time. It is worse than being sad.
In the last 8 months I was so sad, sadness to the point of ending it with a bullet, but I'd never go that way. But man did that seem tempting back in the day. I'm left with scars that'll never heal and being happy again doesn't seem like a possibility to me any more. So I'll just go with "not bad".
I feel anger, I feel the sad, and in the absence of sadness I think I feel not bad. That's it. I don't believe I'm apethetic. I may be wrong though .
Two skills keep me relatively happy in nearly any situation:
*The ability to find the happy (and/or the tenaciousness to look for it when it's not overtly present)
*The concious commitment to not giving a damn what other people think
That second one especially is a godsend. I'm convinced that way too much negativity stems from other peoples' perceptions of a situation, not the actual situation itself. Stop caring what they think (or what you think they think), and your own perception can almost effortlessly skew more positive.
*The ability to find the happy (and/or the tenaciousness to look for it when it's not overtly present)
*The concious commitment to not giving a damn what other people think
That second one especially is a godsend. I'm convinced that way too much negativity stems from other peoples' perceptions of a situation, not the actual situation itself. Stop caring what they think (or what you think they think), and your own perception can almost effortlessly skew more positive.
Express yourself honestly.
Don't take any crap.
Respect yourself.
Respect others.
Remember, life is short. Ask yourself what you would do if you were going to die tomorrow, and then remember, you MIGHT die tomorrow.
Don't take any crap.
Respect yourself.
Respect others.
Remember, life is short. Ask yourself what you would do if you were going to die tomorrow, and then remember, you MIGHT die tomorrow.
Lots of good points already. Let me just add that there has been some interesting reserach done lately on happiness, and one of the surprising findings is that humans are very bad at predicting what will make us happy. Most of us think we'd be happier if we had more money, but once you are past a very basic subsistence level, there is no correlation between greater wealth and greater happiness.
What actually makes people happy? Spending time with family and friends, having pets, volunteering, traveling. Spending money on an experience (say, a vacation) seems to result in more and longer-lasting happiness than spending it on a purchase.
Here's an interesting book on the subject:
http://www.amazon.com/Stumbling-Hap...UTF8&qid=1388414005&sr=8-7&keywords=happiness
What actually makes people happy? Spending time with family and friends, having pets, volunteering, traveling. Spending money on an experience (say, a vacation) seems to result in more and longer-lasting happiness than spending it on a purchase.
Here's an interesting book on the subject:
http://www.amazon.com/Stumbling-Hap...UTF8&qid=1388414005&sr=8-7&keywords=happiness
As an Amazon Associate, TalkBass may receive commissions from qualifying purchases made via links on this site.
Perfect observation/advice on both counts in my view.
As to the first, stop and smell the roses. There IS beauty all around you no matter where you are. If you are in a rural area, it may be nature. If you are deep inside a city, it could be just a wave and a smile from a small child. If you LOOK for something nice, you will FIND it.
As to the second, set a goal. Nothing will make you feel better than working TOWARD something. Even if the rest of your life seems a bit hopeless, if you set one (hard but not impossible) goal, just the effort to get you there will make you feel better inside. Try learning how to play some instrument that is sitting around your house. If you don't have one, go buy a $10 harmonica and hit YouTube hard for how to videos. If you need to lose weight or change some other aspect of your health, the quit pouting and go for it. It costs zero. If you can't afford equipment, lift books, walk/run and do push ups. Those are free. It really doesn't matter what the goal is. Learn Spanish. Take a cabinet building class. The subject is less important than the goal. But trust me, just inching toward ANY goal will make you feel better about YOURSELF. And feeling better about yourself is just about the only thing that will drag you out of a funk. (bad funk, not good funk
)Once you feel better about yourself, it is infectious. Others will feel better about you too because of your new positive attitude.
If you can afford it, try getting some material (I suggest audio) by Bryan Tracy. That guy will change your life. Motivation and focus will shut out depression almost every time in my experience.
Best of luck with it.
This. Always be moving toward something. There is a thin line between satisfied and complacent...... and an even thinner, blurred line between complacent and bored/depressed. (I just made that up. Feel free to steal it.)
I forgot to mention the best one that works for me. Grab a kitten, get it on your shoulder, stick your ear to its stomach while petting the little sucker and listen to the heavenly sound of purring. This, is not "not bad." This is 100% happy. Better than a unicorn pooping rainbows.
You could see me like this, except that I'm not that cool and I'm holding a kitten instead of a boombox.
You could see me like this, except that I'm not that cool and I'm holding a kitten instead of a boombox.
