How do you tell deadbeat friends not to come to your gigs

[bassbully]

Sounds to me that you show the venue you have a draw and an audience. I don't know how many bands (deadbeats or not) can afford to make people stay away from their bands shows.

 

[mgauge]

Geez, people come out to your shows and have a great time. That sucks.

I play in a band that plays originals. Getting friends to come and pay a cover isnt easy. So I appreciate the ones who do come when they do

 

[digmeout]

Hell, I've played some gigs where most of the audience was my "dead beat friends", and we were glad they came! LOL!

 

[azfatboy]

As long as they didn't get in for free - or be on some sort of guest list - it's the bar's issue and not the band's. Because that's a violation of law in most states. It's also something that can get the bar fined and possibly lose its liquor license. So I'd stay out of it and let the bar management handle it. People who try to pull jive moves like that usually get permanently banned from most places on first offence.

So again, as long as these people aren't inside by the band's specific invitation, it's not the band's responsibility. But if they are, you're gonna be held responsible for their behavior. One more reason to make everybody pay and clear through the place's doorman. If they do that, it's the club's fault for letting them in - and you have 'plausible deniability' to borrow the popular phrase.

No one, and certainly not the OP or myself, said a single word about sticking noses into the bar's business. But that doesn't mean that you should have no concern with how well a place does when you perform there, because that DOES affect whether you are booked again! Also, as the OP already said, these guests ARE BEING SPECIFICALLY INVITED by another band member. (Admittedly, he did not state whether or not they were getting in for "free" to a place that normally has a cover). So even if it has no legal liability, having those folks around can still be a liability (loss of future gigs). In short, the OP isn't asking about plausible deniability. He is asking about "best practice".

Sounds to me that you show the venue you have a draw and an audience. I don't know how many bands (deadbeats or not) can afford to make people stay away from their bands shows.

Again, he is not asking should they try and "make them stay away"--just whether they should continue to be explicitly invited...

Hell, I've played some gigs where most of the audience was my "dead beat friends", and we were glad they came! LOL!

Yeah, we all have those, and we might even be those! Except in this case, they aren't really friends! Big difference.

And to repeat my disclaimer, I have no experience with this as a band member. I have no dog in this fight. I am just having fun with the discussion!!!

 

[loveandbass]

i gotta say, OP....i sorta see what youre saying in some sense but it seems like you are probably not handling things in a cordial manner. Also, I cant believe they had the audacity to invite you to dinner or a BBQ. Sending you thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

 

[Kragnorak]

a quiet word with the bouncer or other security orc will usually work the charm.

Honestly, security orcs would probably solve a lot of problems, or at least make them more entertaining!

 

[40Hz]

No one, and certainly not the OP or myself, said a single word about sticking noses into the bar's business. But that doesn't mean that you should have no concern with how well a place does when you perform there, because that DOES affect whether you are booked again! Also, as the OP already said, these guests ARE BEING SPECIFICALLY INVITED by another band member. (Admittedly, he did not state whether or not they were getting in for "free" to a place that normally has a cover). So even if it has no legal liability, having those folks around can still be a liability (loss of future gigs). In short, the OP isn't asking about plausible deniability. He is asking about "best practice".

Um...ok. Just to be clear, I was responding to the OP's subsequent comment about people walking in with their own liquor. Not to anything you may have posted. And if you'll reread my posts you'll see I am suggesting best practice - which begins with not having anybody get admitted free.

I also read the entire thread so I don't really need you to clarify anything for me, nor start blasting things in all caps. I'm perfectly capable of reading and comprehending what was previously posted. Also... if the OP thinks I (or anyone else here) is missing his point, I think 'best practice' might be to leave it as his prerogative to say so rather than you.

 

[guy n. cognito]

Again, he is not asking should they try and "make them stay away"--just whether they should continue to be explicitly invited...

The whole intent of this thread is "how do I keep these guys from coming to gigs......

No one, and certainly not the OP or myself, said a single word about sticking noses into the bar's business.

Except the guy that suggested that you review the bar's z-out at the end of the night. That is, specifically, sticking your nose in the bar's business.....

Also, as the OP already said, these guests ARE BEING SPECIFICALLY INVITED by another band member. (Admittedly, he did not state whether or not they were getting in for "free" to a place that normally has a cover)

Presumably to a public establishment (bars and clubs and typically public). Technically, they need no invite to attend.

 

[PortlandBass77]

I am in a cover band and we play bars and clubs. Our singer has a few friends and we have actually made some fans who spend very little money at our gigs. I told the singer we need to stop inviting these folks to our gigs and he thinks they help make the bars look full and there is no harm in having them there. I disagree. Oh the problems of being in a band with no BL.
His friends will yell out tunes they want to hear and air guitar along with the band... it is as if Beavis and Butthead turn 55 and showed up at your gig. The other folks who have clung on to the band seem to think the relationship is more than a business one. They invite us to any thing they have going on, text us to go to dinner or a bbq. One even suggested we play his bday party and when we told him what we charged he said " yeah but for me it would be free, right" I said wrong and he got offended.
I try and ignore them and do the cold shoulder routine but they don't seem to get it.

4

Holy poopie someone needs to make a spinoff of this! just lol

 

[Sixgunn]

When a bar/club booker/owner considers whether or not to rebook a band that's played previously, they'll usually consult the ledger for the bar sales from the band's previous engagements. And/or ask the bar manager/food & beverage manager;

Q "Hey, how did the XYZ band do last month?"

A "They did great! They sell a lot of beer." (Not "They did great! They have some really intricate arrangements.")

So it does matter to the club how much money "your" fans spend. That's how they keep the lights on.

The $$ would be the same with or without them there so non-sequitur.

 

[Sixgunn]

you look at the Z out on the cash register at the end of the night and you bet your butt I pay attention to it.

Unless they're counting heads, which I'm sure most do not, all they look at is gross. Not per capita.

 

[Downunderwonder]

That's the bar's problem.....

Yet it could easily become the band's problem if they are the only band that attract such deadbeat behavior. Rather than fire the drummer or the patron, they could more easily fire the band and be done.

 

[guy n. cognito]

Yet it could easily become the band's problem if they are the only band that attract such deadbeat behavior. Rather than fire the drummer or the patron, they could more easily fire the band and be done.

Unless the band is sticking up for the errant fans, I've never seen a bar blame a band for a rowdy customer.

 

[Kragnorak]

it is as if Beavis and Butthead turn 55 and showed up at your gig.

The weird part about this story is that usually these guys drink plenty and therefore are welcomed by the bar owner. If they drink beforehand only that is a bit annoying.

One even suggested we play his bday party and when we told him what we charged he said " yeah but for me it would be free, right" I said wrong and he got offended.

The friend price for a backyard party with one of my bands is $300. That's usually enough to weed out shady or silly situations (like playing for a family of 5 for peanuts). For those willing to pay, we absolutely earn it. One friend had a bunch of unruly ex-cops that felt exempt from the law in his backyard. Whenever we stopped playing, they'd start getting bored and lighting off fireworks in the direction of his newly-finished back porch. I'm convinced that if he hadn't played 4+ hours of material, he would have had property damage!

 

[pholli00]

Some places I play, air guitar hippies

Allow me to move that comma for a second: Some places, I play air guitar hippies. Okay, you can have it back.

 

[Ellery]

I can barely get some of my best friends to come to my shows. Maybe 10% of people who say they'll come ever show up. It is great having people I don't know show up to see us, because they are there for our music not the obligation. But it would be nice if someone doesn't wanna bother to support by showing up to a free show could just say so. Lame.

 

[delta7fred]

One even suggested we play his bday party and when we told him what we charged he said " yeah but for me it would be free, right" I said wrong and he got offended.
I try and ignore them and do the cold shoulder routine but they don't seem to get it.

A few people have asked if I will play their party for free.

My response was "Sure I'll play for free but I charge for gear schlepping and transport. You schlep my gear and set it up, pick me up just in time to play and bring me back home when I finish, then bring my gear back (in the same condition it left my house) the following day and you have a deal."

This is when they seem to lose interest.

 

[Joedog]

Sometimes it works out pretty well for a band!

 

[Bass Viking]

As for the ridiculousness of a free birthday party, find out what he does for a living. If he's a plumber, tell him you need your sink fixed. And "It'll be free for me, right?" Put the ball back in his court. If he offers to do free plumbing for you, I got nutn.

He'll probably say "Sure I will!" and then change his tune if it ever came to it.

 

[two fingers]

Allow me to move that comma for a second: Some places, I play air guitar hippies. Okay, you can have it back.

Last time I played a hippie he liked it and it got all weird.