I feel so guilty...

[Fassa Albrecht]

I was talking with a group of foreign students at my uni today and something came up which I feel guilty about.

I generally have a LOT of patience and time for international students, and spend a lot of time with them.
But in my old flat I was living with a Chinese girl. I didn't know at the time she was an exchange student from Beijing. Generally we tolerated each other but her English was terrible and so doing anything with her was close to impossible.

But one night after a row I somehow lost my temper so far as picking up a butcher's knife and thinking about killing her there and then.

I now feel terrible cause I love talking with the Chinese students and they're really nice as well.

I can't get this incident off my mind. I could have harmed a innocent person and ruined my own life at the same time.

Any way I can get this off my mind? I feel such a hypocrite.

 

[Benjamin Strange]

Killing somebody with a butcher knife is so uncivilized - if you can't do it with your bare hands it isn't worth trying.

Does she have any tattoos? I find that tattooed skin makes for excellent lampshades.

 

[Fassa Albrecht]

Killing somebody with a butcher knife is so uncivilized - if you can't do it with your bare hands it isn't worth trying.

Does she have any tattoos? I find that tattooed skin makes for excellent lampshades.

That made me laugh for some reason...

 

[Baryonyx]

But one night after a row I somehow lost my temper so far as picking up a butcher's knife and thinking about killing her there and then.

Seriously, get help for your anger problem now. If you've actually moved into the commission of an offence, you're got a problem. And this is about as serious as it gets.

 

[Deluge Of Sound]

Everyone gets pissed off. Just don't act on it, and realize that in the grand scheme of things, disliking someone doesn't really matter.

 

[Fassa Albrecht]

Seriously, get help for your anger problem now. If you've actually moved into the commission of an offence, you're got a problem. And this is about as serious as it gets.

I'm not normally like that though...even when I lose my temper I keep physical violence to a minimum.

 

[TheDarkReaver]

***, that's a little bit psychotic.

 

[Fassa Albrecht]

***, that's a little bit psychotic.

Here's the even stranger part...I couldn't remember actually doing it until a flatmate found me sobbing on the kitchen floor, crying, knife still in hand.
Turns out he'd seen some of it and was about to rush in and save this Chinese girl. He was the one who told me what I'd almost done

 

[TheDarkReaver]

Here's the even stranger part...I couldn't remember actually doing it until a flatmate found me sobbing on the kitchen floor, crying, knife still in hand.
Turns out he'd seen some of it and was about to rush in and save this Chinese girl. He was the one who told me what I'd almost done

That's quite a lot psychotic.

Given your posting history I can't help but feel you're making it all up though, or at least exagerating a bit.

If not you probably need therapy/psych evaluation.

 

[Fassa Albrecht]

That's quite a lot psychotic.

Given your posting history I can't help but feel you're making it all up though, or at least exagerating a bit.

If not you probably need therapy/psych evaluation.

I swear I was prepared to kill her.


I was diagnosed with depression three weeks later too.

 

[Baryonyx]

Given your posting history I can't help but feel you're making it all up though, or at least exagerating a bit.

If not you probably need therapy/psych evaluation.

+1

We know you're a fan of the melodrama, Liz, but if you really did black out and come out of your fugue state with a cleaver in your hand, you have serious issues.

Also, depression=abnormality of mind and thus a perviously unseen propensity to violence that can sporadically reoccur. At least you've got your defence to murder sorted, but seriously, this kind of thing needs treatment.

 

[Fassa Albrecht]

+1

We know you're a fan of the melodrama, Liz, but if you really did black out and come out of your fugue state with a cleaver in your hand, you have serious issues.

Like I said, I'm NOT making this up.

 

[Baryonyx]

Are you sure this isn't an attention grabbing scheme?

I mean, grabbing a weapon with the intent of killing someone in the next room is very serious.

 

[Fassa Albrecht]

Are you sure this isn't an attention grabbing scheme?

I mean, grabbing a weapon with the intent of killing someone in the next room is very serious.

Nope, this is serious.


Also, this girl was in the same room as me, stood infront of me screaming.

The person in the next room was the one who witnessed it and was about to come in.

 

[Grizzly700]

Why would you tell us this?


Oh yeah, and asking about something like this on the internet is probably the worst possible thing you could do.


Professional help helps.

 

[Fassa Albrecht]

Why would you tell us this?


Oh yeah, and asking about something like this on the internet is probably the worst possible thing you could do.


Professional help helps.

I don't know...

I've also seen someone.

What I actually put the OP up for is because I am friends with other Chinese students and so I feel guilty about the whole incident...

 

[GeneralElectric]

I was diagnosed with depression three weeks later too.

Want a medal?

At this point I can't help but think that pretty much everything said thus far is just in your head.

This story is just another in a long line, and, unfortunately this story of yours has more holes than swiss cheese and those holes are filled with crap.

 

[Fassa Albrecht]

Want a medal?

At this point I can't help but think that pretty much everything said thus far is just in your head.

This story is just another in a long line, and, unfortunately this story of yours has more holes than swiss cheese and those holes are filled with crap.

WHY would I make something like that up?! Geez..

 

[Grizzly700]

Everybody just thinks that you're a drama queen.

 

[Baryonyx]

WHY would I make something like that up?! Geez..

Why would it come up now? It reads as a debased fiction!