Unsolicited advice-play enough to maintain your calluses and LH strength and fingertip toughness. I'm in the process of coming back from a three month layoff, and the roughest part by far is LH issues.
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Double Bass I gave up all my gigs.
- Thread starter Uncletoad
- Start date
Good advice here.... My wife and I took an 18 day trip a few years back and I didn't touch a bass for that whole trip. Needless to say I thought it would be the RH that would kill me, it was the LH... Like Razor Blades !!
- May 6, 2003
- 5,272
- 160
- 64
- Disclosures
- Proprietor Fifth Avenue Fret Shop. Technical Editor Bass Gear Magazine
Yea I'm very aware of that. Can't stop it from falling apart though. No amount of practice sits on a muscle set like a gig.
I'm not completely idle, I've got one act that gets together every other week to play and has a few things on the books. Pretty much nothing compared to what I'm used to.
I'm not completely idle, I've got one act that gets together every other week to play and has a few things on the books. Pretty much nothing compared to what I'm used to.
Tomorrow will be my last day on a gig I've had for the past 26 years. I'm retiring from employment with the State of NC after about 29 years. That's been the one to pay for the house, feed and clothe the kids and have a bit of funds left over for the wants in life.
I haven't played music on a regular basis in about 2.5 years. I've gotten the occasional private party gig, the occasional jam with friends, the occasional benefit gig for a musical friend in need, etc., etc.
But, in this time of freedom, I've taken my wife out to supper more often, taken a lot of weekend naps on the couch and taken a bit more time with my kids (now adults).
What I gave up in regular gigs was replaced by regular time with the family and friends. Oh, I'm still heavily involved in music, helping to produce a killer bluegrass festival here in town and occasionaly riding the roads with my son, who has now been earning his living by gigging on the road and doing session work in Nashville (and other cities). Hearing him (or seeing him) play on The Grand Ole Opry a dozen or so times in the past 3 years has been a blast.
At this point, I pretty much have what I need in life. With the exception of maybe having to replace a vehicle or two in a few years, we're good. Not wealthy, but good. Now I'll have time to get my man-cave in order (in the basement) spend some more time with my Daddy and Momma (while I still have them) and enjoy life and have the freedom of time to do it all.
Since my musical gig was a part-time, weekend warrior setup, I had a good bit of time to be home and attend my kids school band functions. Neither of them participated in sports, but they were both good enough to make some state honors bands as they played in high school.
While chasing those weekend warrior gigs, it was always in the back of my mind of how much time I could be devoting to my kids. And that is SO important, especially in their very early, formative years. But there's also time now for ME time.
I hope to spend some time doing promotional work for bands, which will allow me to ride a computer at home for most of that work. Then, there may be other stuff that will allow me to connect to the music, see some new parts of the country and possibly work with an artist who has been a hero to me for decades.
Next spring, there's my son's wedding to take in and my daughter will graduate with honors from college in a few more weeks. Having a wife who likes to be a homebody has been the biggest blessing of it all. It has been (and continues to be) a marriage made in heaven. Me, with time and interest to play msuic, go listen to music and a dear wife who thinks a quiet evening is just that, spent at home in the quiet.
After this 2.5 year break from the gigs, I'm now back to a creative place where I'm itching to write songs, get out and play and take care of a few things around the house. The break has been good for me.
Those thoughts you've had about the time spent with Vinny, are the good thoughts you need to hang onto. He ain't gonna be 4 or 5 but once.
I haven't played music on a regular basis in about 2.5 years. I've gotten the occasional private party gig, the occasional jam with friends, the occasional benefit gig for a musical friend in need, etc., etc.
But, in this time of freedom, I've taken my wife out to supper more often, taken a lot of weekend naps on the couch and taken a bit more time with my kids (now adults).
What I gave up in regular gigs was replaced by regular time with the family and friends. Oh, I'm still heavily involved in music, helping to produce a killer bluegrass festival here in town and occasionaly riding the roads with my son, who has now been earning his living by gigging on the road and doing session work in Nashville (and other cities). Hearing him (or seeing him) play on The Grand Ole Opry a dozen or so times in the past 3 years has been a blast.
At this point, I pretty much have what I need in life. With the exception of maybe having to replace a vehicle or two in a few years, we're good. Not wealthy, but good. Now I'll have time to get my man-cave in order (in the basement) spend some more time with my Daddy and Momma (while I still have them) and enjoy life and have the freedom of time to do it all.
Since my musical gig was a part-time, weekend warrior setup, I had a good bit of time to be home and attend my kids school band functions. Neither of them participated in sports, but they were both good enough to make some state honors bands as they played in high school.
While chasing those weekend warrior gigs, it was always in the back of my mind of how much time I could be devoting to my kids. And that is SO important, especially in their very early, formative years. But there's also time now for ME time.
I hope to spend some time doing promotional work for bands, which will allow me to ride a computer at home for most of that work. Then, there may be other stuff that will allow me to connect to the music, see some new parts of the country and possibly work with an artist who has been a hero to me for decades.
Next spring, there's my son's wedding to take in and my daughter will graduate with honors from college in a few more weeks. Having a wife who likes to be a homebody has been the biggest blessing of it all. It has been (and continues to be) a marriage made in heaven. Me, with time and interest to play msuic, go listen to music and a dear wife who thinks a quiet evening is just that, spent at home in the quiet.
After this 2.5 year break from the gigs, I'm now back to a creative place where I'm itching to write songs, get out and play and take care of a few things around the house. The break has been good for me.
Those thoughts you've had about the time spent with Vinny, are the good thoughts you need to hang onto. He ain't gonna be 4 or 5 but once.
I gave up 1/2 of my gigs a few months ago. My leader, who is the drummer and a very close friend, booked every other weekend at a club I despise and I said I wouldn't do it.
The club is a PIA in/out, the gig is $50 for 8-11, it's a very tight bandstand, and I dislike the owner. We've got all of the other weekends booked for Fri/Sat 9.3-12.30 for $100.
I told him I didn't want these gigs in advance and he booked them anyway. I don't want to spend every weekend in a club.
The drummer is a retired pilot with $1M in the bank. He doesn't care how much he makes, and he wants out of the house on the weekends. The piano player's only income are the jobs with this band and the Klezmer band which we are all members. (~$700/month total) PP's wife is a grad student and he's got 2 daughters under the age of 4, so if I told him I booked a $25 job in the WalMart parking lot he would take it.
I teach music time full-time. I need this time and I don't need to sacrifice my relationship for $200/month. Furthermore, musically the gig is unsatisfying- it is in a restaurant/club where we play standards at minimal volume, which is too loud.
The s*&^ hasn't hit the fan yet. We don't have a lot of great bassists locally, so the ones that can play stay booked. One of the local 4-years just hired a new guy (for $30K) so he's getting all of my overflow.
While somewhat unrelated to Phil's OP, when I saw this come TTT I needed to vent. Thanks.
(Last weekend we sounded AWESOME, so I sincerely hope that this band doesn't fall apart)
The club is a PIA in/out, the gig is $50 for 8-11, it's a very tight bandstand, and I dislike the owner. We've got all of the other weekends booked for Fri/Sat 9.3-12.30 for $100.
I told him I didn't want these gigs in advance and he booked them anyway. I don't want to spend every weekend in a club.
The drummer is a retired pilot with $1M in the bank. He doesn't care how much he makes, and he wants out of the house on the weekends. The piano player's only income are the jobs with this band and the Klezmer band which we are all members. (~$700/month total) PP's wife is a grad student and he's got 2 daughters under the age of 4, so if I told him I booked a $25 job in the WalMart parking lot he would take it.
I teach music time full-time. I need this time and I don't need to sacrifice my relationship for $200/month. Furthermore, musically the gig is unsatisfying- it is in a restaurant/club where we play standards at minimal volume, which is too loud.
The s*&^ hasn't hit the fan yet. We don't have a lot of great bassists locally, so the ones that can play stay booked. One of the local 4-years just hired a new guy (for $30K) so he's getting all of my overflow.
While somewhat unrelated to Phil's OP, when I saw this come TTT I needed to vent. Thanks.
(Last weekend we sounded AWESOME, so I sincerely hope that this band doesn't fall apart)
This is a great thread. I did not play bass for 15 years and started back on electric in 2004, added an EUB and now play my Shen Willow on most gigs. Some gigs I wouldn't have were it not for the DB.
Running a company, which I still own, in those 15 years made me a better musician in terms of meeting people and my marketing of me. I don't have a ton of regular work but this year has been great in terms of contacts I have made which I hope will lead to more work down the road. The company structure changed when I started paying bass and contract out a lot of what I used to do which means I work from home. being available for my son through his teenage years (16 now) has been the best decision I could ever have made. I certainly make less money but it's worth it.
The 15 year break did me a lot of good. Now that I come back to music I realize it was what I was meant to do even if it is a little later in life. I appreciate every gig I have and musical moment that I have much more than had I continued as a musician all those years ago.
That said, I'd love to quite the day gig and work full time as a musician but it may not be realistic but still pushing to make it happen as best I can.
Running a company, which I still own, in those 15 years made me a better musician in terms of meeting people and my marketing of me. I don't have a ton of regular work but this year has been great in terms of contacts I have made which I hope will lead to more work down the road. The company structure changed when I started paying bass and contract out a lot of what I used to do which means I work from home. being available for my son through his teenage years (16 now) has been the best decision I could ever have made. I certainly make less money but it's worth it.
The 15 year break did me a lot of good. Now that I come back to music I realize it was what I was meant to do even if it is a little later in life. I appreciate every gig I have and musical moment that I have much more than had I continued as a musician all those years ago.
That said, I'd love to quite the day gig and work full time as a musician but it may not be realistic but still pushing to make it happen as best I can.
I gave up gigs
After a slow fade, I stopped gigging 5? 8? years ago. The Spiros are in a drawer. I have 3 basses strung with BC’s. (now 2 – just sold my Jacquet). I’ve continued with the RSO which I joined 10 or 12 years ago. I’ve added the Ridgewood Concert Band, and now am out more than I was when I played jazz and commercial. The difference is that I come home early, with no alcoholic buzz and I don’t smell like an ashtray.
I have taken up vocal arranging for chorus, and this year I wrote the best thing I have ever done, a Lenten hymn based on a poem by John Donne and a melody from 1623.
I’ve recently accepted an assignment to write an arrangement for 60-piece concert band and jazz soloist
The writing is a direct consequence of studying bass with Michael Moore, who required that every week I compose a blues or a head to a standard that demonstrated concepts from my prior lesson.
The RSO conductor is ego-free and a passionate teacher.
It was a great ride, but the joy of learning new things more than makes up for what I gave up.
After a slow fade, I stopped gigging 5? 8? years ago. The Spiros are in a drawer. I have 3 basses strung with BC’s. (now 2 – just sold my Jacquet). I’ve continued with the RSO which I joined 10 or 12 years ago. I’ve added the Ridgewood Concert Band, and now am out more than I was when I played jazz and commercial. The difference is that I come home early, with no alcoholic buzz and I don’t smell like an ashtray.
I have taken up vocal arranging for chorus, and this year I wrote the best thing I have ever done, a Lenten hymn based on a poem by John Donne and a melody from 1623.
I’ve recently accepted an assignment to write an arrangement for 60-piece concert band and jazz soloist
The writing is a direct consequence of studying bass with Michael Moore, who required that every week I compose a blues or a head to a standard that demonstrated concepts from my prior lesson.
The RSO conductor is ego-free and a passionate teacher.
It was a great ride, but the joy of learning new things more than makes up for what I gave up.
Greg Clinkingbeard
Commercial User
I was a bass major for two years in college before switching to business. My desire was for marriage and family so naturally, I needed a 'real' job. I still played a fair number of gigs until my second child was born, eventually finding it hard to work 40+hrs, play a late gig and deal with diapers and baby bottles. I might get home at 3am, sleep a bit and commute 30 minutes to be at work by 8am.
My wife was working 60hr weeks so it was tough. I did blow off the company Christmas party for a nice paying gig though-maybe out of protest!
Anyhoo, I took fifteen years off but never stopped absorbing all the music I could. I built a record collection and listened to as much jazz as possible. When I began playing again it took some time to find my technique and sound, but there was some vocabulary to draw from. I'm now gigging 2-3 times a week and really enjoying myself. It's not quite as rewarding as parenthood, but it isn't as much work either.
My wife was working 60hr weeks so it was tough. I did blow off the company Christmas party for a nice paying gig though-maybe out of protest!
Anyhoo, I took fifteen years off but never stopped absorbing all the music I could. I built a record collection and listened to as much jazz as possible. When I began playing again it took some time to find my technique and sound, but there was some vocabulary to draw from. I'm now gigging 2-3 times a week and really enjoying myself. It's not quite as rewarding as parenthood, but it isn't as much work either.
This is a great thread, an enjoyable and positive read. I've kind of told my story a few times so I don't feel the need to do it again but there are some very life affirming stories here!
Best
T
Best
T
Finally got around to checking this thread out. It's good to see there are so many people who are willing to give up or reduce their musical passion for their family.
Confession time: I wish I did done more of that when I was younger. I had a great job, was involved in music on many levels and had a family.
In retrospect it was silly of me to think I could have done them all in a satisfactory way. I neglected too many of my family responsibilities for my own selfish musical and career interests.
I paid the price eventually but now, many years later and after finally dropping most of my musical interests for quite a while, I found I could live without that. Too little, too late but the lesson was learned.
I am now in a situation in my 60's, where I can once again play music again (and I was never that great in the first place!) but enjoy it much more than I ever did. And if it ever becomes a problem again in my new situation (she is a real musician) I will not hesitate to choose her over the music.
This thread should be required reading in every music school.
Married life is not a matter of balancing competing interests. The scales have to be weighted heavily towards family. If you can't do that, stay single.....or you may very well end up that way.
All this to say I admire what you are doing Phil. I don't think you will ever regret it.
Confession time: I wish I did done more of that when I was younger. I had a great job, was involved in music on many levels and had a family.
In retrospect it was silly of me to think I could have done them all in a satisfactory way. I neglected too many of my family responsibilities for my own selfish musical and career interests.
I paid the price eventually but now, many years later and after finally dropping most of my musical interests for quite a while, I found I could live without that. Too little, too late but the lesson was learned.
I am now in a situation in my 60's, where I can once again play music again (and I was never that great in the first place!) but enjoy it much more than I ever did. And if it ever becomes a problem again in my new situation (she is a real musician) I will not hesitate to choose her over the music.
This thread should be required reading in every music school.
Married life is not a matter of balancing competing interests. The scales have to be weighted heavily towards family. If you can't do that, stay single.....or you may very well end up that way.
All this to say I admire what you are doing Phil. I don't think you will ever regret it.
**** the family. They get Christmas (unless I get a church gig), Easter (unless I get a church gig), my wedding anniversary, and Thanksgiving. Greedy bastards. What more do they want?
- May 6, 2003
- 5,272
- 160
- 64
- Disclosures
- Proprietor Fifth Avenue Fret Shop. Technical Editor Bass Gear Magazine
- May 6, 2003
- 5,272
- 160
- 64
- Disclosures
- Proprietor Fifth Avenue Fret Shop. Technical Editor Bass Gear Magazine
It's interesting. I've received a few offers lately about strapping on a Fender and playing Margaritaville. I may even go do a hit with one to keep my chops up. Honestly though I realize now that this break is more than a break for family. It's a redefinition of me a as a musician. Once again pulling the commerce out of it and opening myself up for something artistic or otherwise satisfying rather than looking for the next paycheck. Artistic or satisfying and bread have not been going together very well around here for awhile. If I'm gonna work for my spiritual health I'm not gonna play Brown Eyed ****ing Girl.
Obviously I'm being (partially) sarcastic. It is definitely a hard balancing act. My wife is pretty understanding but it makes for some late nights at gigs followed by early mornings getting the kids off to school.
I remember once reading something wise. Don't judge a person based on their wealth but rather on how their kids talk about them.
I remember once reading something wise. Don't judge a person based on their wealth but rather on how their kids talk about them.
I think this thread is great. I should have added earlier that due to a few incredulous responses from people who wanted to hire me on Tuesday or Thursday gigs (where I told them that I didn't want to work because of a family commitment), I finally posted the following blurb on the itinerary page of my website:
Note: As part of an effort to maintain better balance between my personal and professional lives, I have reserved Tuesday and Thursday evenings for family activities, and am no longer accepting casual type performance dates on these evenings at this time. If you wish to contact me about a concert or festival-type booking on one of these evenings in advance, please do! I am happy to make occasional exceptions for exceptional opportunities. For basic background music type of events, however, It would probably best to contact another bassist for this type of function on these weekday evenings.
Best thing I ever did. Wish i'd though of it years ago. Doesn't seem to have hurt the booking on the other nights yet either, at least so far.
Phil - stick to your guns. Life is so much better when you can actually enjoy what you're doing.
Note: As part of an effort to maintain better balance between my personal and professional lives, I have reserved Tuesday and Thursday evenings for family activities, and am no longer accepting casual type performance dates on these evenings at this time. If you wish to contact me about a concert or festival-type booking on one of these evenings in advance, please do! I am happy to make occasional exceptions for exceptional opportunities. For basic background music type of events, however, It would probably best to contact another bassist for this type of function on these weekday evenings.
Best thing I ever did. Wish i'd though of it years ago. Doesn't seem to have hurt the booking on the other nights yet either, at least so far.
Phil - stick to your guns. Life is so much better when you can actually enjoy what you're doing.
Totally. I equate that **** with data entry. I'll go back to teaching school or get a job at Starbucks before I do the jukebox wedding band thing. I told my friend, who recently got hired by a big name jobbing band in town, that the only way I'm playing Miley Cyrus tunes is if SHE hires me.
- May 6, 2003
- 5,272
- 160
- 64
- Disclosures
- Proprietor Fifth Avenue Fret Shop. Technical Editor Bass Gear Magazine
There are many things here that merge into one. Priority for family and especially kids, fused with priority for my musician self, where I am true to my muse and not my pocket. I am no good to my family if I'm not acting like a musician. It's the centerpiece of my existence and Vincent at 3yrs old already knows it. Even this brief pause has made me feel out of sorts.
However the lesson for my boy and my wife is twofold; family is worth sacrificing for and be true to your artistic calling even if it messes with family because I'm of little use at home without it.
However the lesson for my boy and my wife is twofold; family is worth sacrificing for and be true to your artistic calling even if it messes with family because I'm of little use at home without it.
While we're admitting stuff. All joking aside. I feel real selfish sometimes. Music often comes before family. I lose very little sleep over it though. I can't help it. If it were the other way around the level of resentment and regret would make me impossible to be around. I try my best to keep the balance but it is just not always possible. My wife has always known me this way as have my kids. While my wife is VERY understanding there are times where we have some pretty heated 'discussions'. I consider them worth it.
The coolest thing happened lately though. My daughter, 7, has a blog. She asked me to take pictures of marquee and stage of all the places I've played. She is blogging about all the 'cool places my dad plays'.
The coolest thing happened lately though. My daughter, 7, has a blog. She asked me to take pictures of marquee and stage of all the places I've played. She is blogging about all the 'cool places my dad plays'.
