Is there a bass therapist here???

[oysterphish]

How old are You?

40.

 

[J Wilson]

And, unfortunately, IF you're as obsessed and driven as I was for years, to the exclusion of friends, family, or any kind of life away from the damn thing, all kidding aside, you're well on your way to needing a therapist and you are missing out on life and time you will never get back. There's a whole world out there that could care less about music, and be sure you get out in it and out of the mental shackles.

Work when it's time to work, and live life away from it the rest of the time.

Be smarter than I was.

 

[oysterphish]

I get the impression that you realize that your attitude to playing bass isn’t healthy (for lack of a better word), but at the same time, you don’t seem willing to change it, or maybe you don’t believe you can change it. I may be over-interpreting here, but If that’s the case, maybe try and work on that? Seeking help from a therapist might not be a bad idea at all if you can afford it - especially if you encounter similar issues in other areas of your life.

My advice (and this is the kind of thing my therapist would say) is: Instead of practicing bass, try practicing letting go. Challenge yourself to not practice, no matter how much you feel you should. Practice playing for your own enjoyment instead of for the respect of others. Don’t play music that you don’t enjoy playing. Maybe blues and modern worship music just aren’t for you, nothing wrong with that.

As for playing boring parts, that is skill in itself, and it is one you can practice too. For me the key is to focus my attention on the music as whole instead of on my own part. This keeps my mind from wandering off or from being too self-aware. Both things still happen, bur being aware of the problem and knowing what to do about it helps. It’s more fun to play with that mindset anyway, and it probably sounds better when I do that too.

Totally realize my unhealthy attitude towards bass, in every way.
I like your suggestion. I sort of do that in some ways. For example, when I play through my in ear monitors, I mix everyone so that it sounds like it would from a live recording. I know many people boost their instrument, but I don't like doing that. Love the tone of my bass, but I wanna hear the music on the whole. Plus when I boost myself, I'm more self aware, self conscious. Love turning myself down a bit and just ripping it on bass. Turning myself down helps me not feel so crummy about slip ups.

 

[oysterphish]

And, unfortunately, IF you're as obsessed and driven as I was for years, to the exclusion of friends, family, or any kind of life away from the damn thing, all kidding aside, you're well on your way to needing a therapist and you are missing out on life and time you will never get back.

Be smarter than I was.

Since I've been more active with a few groups and jam nights, it is certainly eating into quality family time. I'm going to drop a few bands and focus just on one. Continue a jam night here or there. Continue playing at church.

 

[J Wilson]

NOTHING comes before family.

 

[oysterphish]

You’re trying too hard, simple as that. Example: we walk up a flight of steps with no problem but if we concentrate very carefully on the placement of each foot we get two thirds the way up and start stumbling. My advice is get Effortless Mastery by Kenny Werner, read it carefully and do exactly what he says. It will take some humility, trust and perseverance but it’s the way out of the woods you’re lost in. You can do this.

Totally trying way too hard. I'll check out the book. Thanks.

 

[jlo95]

What is going on here? Why am I getting worse?

You’re probably not getting worse. You’re most likely improving. Sometimes, in the vacuum of the practice room, it is hard to really judge. You need to go out and play some gigs to see how you hold up in a live setting. Playing bass at home only gets you so far

 

[Happy Face]

There has to be something to be said about being neurotic and perfection seeking being brutal for mental health, right? I'm bummed bass is causing that for me. Honestly, not sure why I care so much. It doesn't define me. I have a family and a career, but for some reason, this feels like it's the forefront of everything I do anymore. So weird.

Do you sing as well?? If not, working on adding that skill and responsibility will make you stop over worrying about missed notes etc.

 

[HelpImaRock]

I'm a bass therapist. Your bass is blue. No wonder you're having issues. You need a bass with a sunnier disposition.

Seriously tho, clear your head, live some life, and play some stuff you love with reckless abandon. Be the ball, Danny.

 

[Geepers]

Totally trying way too hard. I'll check out the book. Thanks.

I believe you’re coming up against the limits of conscious-control playing. The idea is to get the parts into muscle memory and play on automatic pilot … that point where, as Kenny Werner says, you’re watching your hands play as if they’re someone else’s. Spooky when it happens if you’re not used to it but wonderful. Carol Kaye was asked what she was thinking about when she was improvising jazz and she replied “what I need to get from the store after the gig”.

 

[_Obra_]

40.

Just relax, have a beer, leave the bass for a few days, go see a movie...

 

[pcake]

on the one hand, when i get frustrated or annoyed playing bass, i spend time playing music i don't listen to and don't usually play. that helps, and sometimes it introduces me to new music i keep. but sometimes i really do take a couple days off and do something with the time that's unrelated to sort of clear my palette.

but it does sound like you're overloaded. without time to process and enjoy things, they can't be enjoyable. just to noodle on the bass with no goal or objective could be helpful. for a while, instead of having fun playing bass, i got deeply into lessons to improve my technique that made bass playing no fun for me at all, so i strongly didn't want to play. and when i stopped the constant lesson practice, it took me a few days to cleanse my palette.

 

[boombloom]

My name is Steve. I'm a bassist and a therapist. (This is where you all respond "HI STEVE!"). If you really feel this is distressing and if you believe it is impairing your social, educational, vocational or recreational capacity then you might seek out an actual therapist. I would love to take a case like yours. See if you can find someone who specializes in brief solution focused psychotherapy. Two or three sessions should do it.

 

[Five or Six]

I think your OCD is beating you up. It's hard to master anything, especially if you think you don't have to learn anything or, you already have learned it all. That sounds pretty boring to me and creates nothing but pressure. Stop the persistent study for perfection and "just play". Get out of the musical rut you've put yourself in and try something different. It will help.

 

[Zooberwerx]

Nothing wrong with going down a focused, obsession-driven rabbit hole...on occasion and NOT consuming the balance of your life. I do it all the time. The latest pursuit...and this has been going on for years...is learning and performing "Sabor a Mi" jokingly referred to a the "Mexican National Anthem".

Riis

 

[buldog5151bass]

1. Improvement is never linear.

2. Find a good drummer. Nothing kicks your @$$ into playing better than this.

 

[oysterphish]

1. Improvement is never linear.

2. Find a good drummer. Nothing kicks your @$$ into playing better than this.

Been playing with a good one. Says I lag at times. While this is true when I'm jamming in unfamiliar territory, if we're covering a song I know we'll, it doesn't usually happen. Jamming, however, I feel like I'm more reactionary in anticipation of what everyone else is going to do. In those micro seconds, I fall behind a bit.

 

[Nev375]

The problem is that you WANT to be a better bassist than the bassist that you already ARE.

This is something that is beyond your control in much the same way that a child wants to be an adult and enjoy all the priveleges that adulthood brings.
Never mind the priveleges that the child is currently enjoying, such as the freedom from adult responsibilities, etc...

We always tend to want something we do not have and by focussing on that we miss out on the enjoyment of what we DO have.

The solution is focus on the songs and/or playing that you currently do and simply learn to enjoy that. That is not to say you shouldn't try to improve. You should! But just look for little things in your playing that are "almost there" Things you have almost perfected that only you can see. Nothing anyone else would notice. But most importanly, LOVE what you are doing. LOVE the process.

Growth is gradual. Growth is slow. Growth is virtually imperceptible except over long periods of time. So don't bother looking for it. You won't see it
Consider it something that's none of your business in the first place.

Because as long as you are playing, you are growing and you are improving and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Well, except by stopping alltogether.

So just play.

And if you get bored, challenge yourself to doing something weird and off the wall with your bass that you don't really want to do. Something you don't see the point of that is 100% outside of your comfort zone. Some genre you hate. Some technique that doesn't really apply to the way you want to play. Just do it and see where it takes you. If you accidentally learn something you aren't intending to use it certainly isn't going to make you a WORSE player in any way.

You might just learn something about something that opens doors with a situation in the future.

You find the most interesting stuff in unexpected places.
But first you have to be willing to go somewhere you didn't expect to go.

TLR version... Stop thinking about the destination and start paying attention to enjoying the journey.

 

[VW fan]

I don't recall the exact saying, but something like "perfection is the enemy of good".
Even to be good at something requires hard work, but to achieve excellence takes a whole different level of sacrifice. Somewhere between the two is where a healthy balance exists.

 

[GreyBeard]

Are you playing by yourself or with others?