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Linguistically speaking...

Feb 19, 2013
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The Mitten
Back in my pre Internet college days, I had a very interesting course in linguistics.

On the first day, the professor announced that there are no two words in the English language that are 100% interchangeable in all usage contexts. He then said, if a student were to find two that worked, he would give him/her an A on the final for just showing up.

Needless to say, the entire semester hands went up, including mine, quite often. He would instantly shoot down each example by saying the two words in a sentence where one made sense, the other did not. No one got the free A.

I'm wondering: now that there is a giant brain called the Internet, could we find two that work?

We're not talking common synonyms here. We're talking a perfect synonym.

I'll start with the first one I remember challenging him with: s*** and poop. I thought I was being rebellious. He smiled and said that the day was just beginning and he was already so pooped that he wouldn't have energy to swab the poop deck later. Now replace the the word and see what happens. It was a fun class.
 
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You need to come up with two words so they can be compared to determine if they are perfect synonyms. But, let's say dead and deceased are being compared in the same context:

I was on the phone and the line went dead.
I was on the phone and the line went deceased.

Nope!

Aah Geeeez...

dunce.jpg
 

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