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Losing a pet

Today has been a pretty awful day.

My family adopted a 1-2 year old lab/shepherd mix about 5 years ago. He was a rescue and once he settled into our family he turned out to be a great dog. He was not friendly with other dogs outside of our home, but loved our senior dog and our young children. Friendly, gentle, and always wanting companionship and to offer the same.

He was a terrible shedder, and randomly my wife thought maybe he could benefit from a grooming appointment, just to get a bath and have some of his excess hair brushed out. He had never been to the groomer before since he doesn't need his hair cut.

I dropped him off. I knew he didn't want to go it, the same way he doesn't want to go outside in the rain to go to the bathroom before bed, or go to the vet for his shots. Trying to tug and back up in the opposite direction. He has actually pulled himself clean out of his collar doing that and I was really worried he might do that today because the groomer is on a busy road. After trying to coax him in for a few minutes I thought to myself "Forget this, he's going to get loose and run into traffic trying to get him in the door, I'll just bring him home this isn't that important". I gave it one more try, and he finally listened and went inside.

About 20 minutes after dropping him off the groomer called and said he was not doing well and they thought I should come pick him up. I fought with my kids trying to get them to get their shoes and coats back on and get in the car so we could hurry over there. Probably took us 10-15 minutes to get there, and on the way there they called saying "You need to hurry, we think he needs to go to the hospital"

I got there and he was laying down not moving, labored breathing, he acknowledged my presence by looking at me but that was about it. There was a vet right down the street, they helped me get him in the car, we got him into the vet within 5 minutes. About 15 minutes later he was gone.

I'm really struggling. My kids are devastated. My wife obviously feels tremendous guilt for making this appointment that wasn't even necessary. I feel tremendous guilt that I forced him in when he didn't want to go, and that I even thought to myself, F this, this is not that important, and then forced him in anyhow. He was young, healthy, no known issues.

The vet said he probably had some kind of underlying health issue, heart issue kind of thing, and the stress of being in that unfamiliar environment was too much for him to take.

Has anyone seen something similar, with stress seemingly being too much for a young, healthy dog?
 
That's a terrible thing to go through - my sympathies. Our dog of 15 years passed away recently, but we knew what was happening, and were prepared. It was nothing like your experience.

Things like that can happen, suddenly, out of the blue. You shouldn't blame yourselves for it.

We rescued, fostered, and homed a dog years ago. He was a mess when we took him in, but months of care and good diet seemed to restore his health. He lived for years with his new owner with no illness, but we later learned that he'd had an un-diagnosed tumor in his head that ruptured suddenly, and killed him.

No one was to blame, it was just sad and unfortunate event.
 
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I’ve been mentally prepared for our senior dog to go for a while now. He’s 16, and actually pretty healthy but his body is getting very weak and he struggles with mobility. Never imagined the young strong healthy dog would not long outlive the old one.

I’m unfortunately very accustomed to loss, and have lost our first born child. This just has a very different sting, like I personally contributed to his very untimely death.
 
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Today has been a pretty awful day.

My family adopted a 1-2 year old lab/shepherd mix about 5 years ago. He was a rescue and once he settled into our family he turned out to be a great dog. He was not friendly with other dogs outside of our home, but loved our senior dog and our young children. Friendly, gentle, and always wanting companionship and to offer the same.

He was a terrible shedder, and randomly my wife thought maybe he could benefit from a grooming appointment, just to get a bath and have some of his excess hair brushed out. He had never been to the groomer before since he doesn't need his hair cut.

I dropped him off. I knew he didn't want to go it, the same way he doesn't want to go outside in the rain to go to the bathroom before bed, or go to the vet for his shots. Trying to tug and back up in the opposite direction. He has actually pulled himself clean out of his collar doing that and I was really worried he might do that today because the groomer is on a busy road. After trying to coax him in for a few minutes I thought to myself "Forget this, he's going to get loose and run into traffic trying to get him in the door, I'll just bring him home this isn't that important". I gave it one more try, and he finally listened and went inside.

About 20 minutes after dropping him off the groomer called and said he was not doing well and they thought I should come pick him up. I fought with my kids trying to get them to get their shoes and coats back on and get in the car so we could hurry over there. Probably took us 10-15 minutes to get there, and on the way there they called saying "You need to hurry, we think he needs to go to the hospital"

I got there and he was laying down not moving, labored breathing, he acknowledged my presence by looking at me but that was about it. There was a vet right down the street, they helped me get him in the car, we got him into the vet within 5 minutes. About 15 minutes later he was gone.

I'm really struggling. My kids are devastated. My wife obviously feels tremendous guilt for making this appointment that wasn't even necessary. I feel tremendous guilt that I forced him in when he didn't want to go, and that I even thought to myself, F this, this is not that important, and then forced him in anyhow. He was young, healthy, no known issues.

The vet said he probably had some kind of underlying health issue, heart issue kind of thing, and the stress of being in that unfamiliar environment was too much for him to take.

Has anyone seen something similar, with stress seemingly being too much for a young, healthy dog?

I hate reading your story for it makes me utterly sad; I feel so for you and for your family.

I normally would be able to write something that might make you feel better but because of the loss I experienced the day after Thanksgiving when I had to put down my 10 year old Shelty, I cannot bear to think about these things. I cannot bear to remember my sweet dog or look at the hundreds of photos and videos of him. I only mention my loss so you know you are not wrong to feel gutted.

I wanted to make the effort to tell you that you are not alone. This is a very difficult thing. Do not blame yourself or anyone else.

It will eventually get better. I think. So just be easy on yourself and your loved ones. Search for what you need to do to feel better.
 
I'm so sorry.

Your story brought back some painful memories. Yes, I have had a very similar experience.

Years ago, I married into a home with a semi-feral dog. Eddie wasn't unfriendly, just untrained and fairly aloof by nature. I took him and me to obedience school, got him neutered, and spent a lot of time with him. We all became happier quite quickly. There were things about his personality that were simply baked into the cake that made him perhaps not the ideal pet, but he was much easier to have around.

He was also, shall we say, due for some deferred maintenance. His teeth really needed cleaning, and given his age of only about 6 years, this wasn't something we could put off and think he'd die first. He was a young and extremely healthy dog whose siblings were active sled dogs.

The morning of the teeth cleaning appointment, I had some misgivings. I thought I was just being... I don't know, weird about it? There was no reason for these feelings. They weren't rational. This was the best veterinary clinic in the county, and my best friend was the vet!

I took Eddie to the appointment, with the same sense of dread the whole way. Still, I dropped him off. And whether he really liked it or not, I gave him a kiss on the head. I turned my back and knew I'd never see him again.

An hour and a half later, the vet called. Before she could say a word, I said "I know." She talked to my spouse who made everything worse by threatening legal action and everything else under the sun. Spouse would not allow an autopsy, which the vet (I mentioned the vet was my best friend, right?) really wanted to have done. She understood that she might not be the one to do it, but how a young healthy dog could just drop dead in the recovery room was beyond her comprehension. There simply had to be more to this story.

Years later, we found out that there was. My friend was still haunted by this death, and ran across an article in a journal about sled dog sudden death syndrome. Young healthy dog has a good workout or some minor stress and then just dies. It was an electrical issue that had inadvertently been bred into these dogs. That's undoubtedly what happened to Eddie. Although it perhaps could have happened at any time, the additional stress of anesthetic was the likely suspect.

Everybody who's reading this is probably asking why I took him to the appointment since I knew what was going to happen. I don't have a good answer for that. I can blather all I want about my fears being irrational and based on nothing tangible, but they did come true. We talk ourself into stuff, right? It's what we do. We shelve the mysteries, the unexplainable, the gut feelings, the hunches, and we tell ourselves that we're rational human beings and are not subject to being spooked like that. And I have another answer too, that's perhaps even less satisfactory. Eddie's time was up, and somehow, some way, it was my job to take him to that appointment. It was my part in that fraction of the cosmic play. I did it under a significant weight. Somehow, in a way I will never be able to understand or explain, it was the right thing for me to do at that moment.

It's what gave me calmness then and it's what gives me peace now. I'm not saying that it was fine, or all right, or good, because it wasn't. It sucked. It still sucks, even though had he lived a full life he'd still be long dead by now.

I hope in some way this story connects with you. Feel free to PM if that would help, and know that I'm sending you good vibes.