• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Misery

H

hesham8

Mar 21, 2008
186
1
#1
I guess I just need to vent.

I think...
I think it might be over between me and my girlfriend. I'm not sure. 34 days ago, she had moved literally halfway around the world, meaning a 12 hour time difference. We decided that we'll continue, long distance. And it's been fine since then!

She still loves me, she just told me. And she knows I still love her. But she says that she's having a hard time taking the long distance relationship. I mean, I'm the one that's waking up at 5 AM every morning so that i can talk to her. I picked up another job so I can make enough money to see her more often, despite that I'm getting my MD right now. I've even begun the paperwork to transfer to a school in Australia(She's in Indonesia, but it's closer and the med schools there are good)...

She tells me she still loves me. But that's why she's breaking up with me. Because she can't stand being so far apart. :crying:

I've never taken a breakup so damned hard. All I want to do is look at a ****ing wall. I can't even sleep. I feel like my stomach's plugged. And the only thing going through my head are memories. But the thing is, she never said that it's over. She just said she couldn't take it. Is that me just trying desperately to hold onto the relationship, or are we done?

God damnit, I'm a mess. I think I'm going to channel this into writing something in D minor.
 
#2
Sorry to hear about your situation.

I think you're done.

Time to move on with your life and get back to your studies.
Don't screw them up over a relationship.

Maybe your school has a counseling center you might want to check out.
 
#4
southernrocker said:
You'll be alright, man. Try to move on, and for now, just find ways to keep your mind occupied with something besides her (such as bass).
Good Luck, hang in there!
Click to expand...

You know, I'm trying. It's hard though, because I'm going to her sister's wedding this January. Her sister was one of the first people I met when I moved here. I didn't realize that they were sisters until I started dating the one that broke my heart.
On the plus side, chords A AM7 B(Power chord) AM7 Bm Dm are perfect...
 
#6
I'm very sorry to say that it sounds like its over.

You'll go through the 5 stages of grief like we all do when we lose a loved one. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally, will reach the acceptance stage. You'll probably even toggle between the different stages at different times only adding to your frustration. But once those excess dopamine levels in your brain begin to drop off you'll begin to accept the situation more and more each day and then wake up one day and not be hurting anymore. :)

You're hurting pretty bad so take time to heal. If you want to hasten the healing process then find ways to keep your mind busy. Playing video games seems to actually help me out with that. Take up new hobbies or get back into old ones that you haven't done in a while, exercise, spend time with friends throw yourself into your work, play your bass more. In short, the less time you spend dwelling on the situation the faster you'll recover.

I'm not trying to come across as an ass when I say this next bit and its something I actually tell the clients that I work with that come in for counseling, so please don't think I'm trying to make light of your situation.

There are people in much worse situations than yours. Someones husband, wife, or child, just died, someones entire family just died, someone out there was just diagnosed with cancer and is going to die within a few months, by the time I'm done with this several women will have been raped, someone just had to have an arm or leg amputated. Then think to yourself how glad you are that you're not in their situation. IMO/IME it will help some.
 
#7
Been going through this myself the last month (got out of a 6 year relationship). Best thing to do is keep yourself as busy as possible, go out with friends, take up a new hobby, go out and meet people, start working out, etc etc. The worst days are the ones where you have too much free time to dwell on the relationship.
 
#9
I have found that even a friendship can suffer tremendously when a long distance is involved. Even if she had legitimate reasons for moving so far away, it seems some people are only able to relate to people they are around, not people that they are separated by geographically. Personally, I'm not this way. I am able to relate to people geographically far away from me. However, I have noticed that quite a number of people simply aren't that way. This can be true whether or not a romance is involved.
 
#11
Rich600 said:
If you really love her and can't imagine life without her, then you should do whatever you can to keep her in your life. Don't go without knowing you did everything you possibley could, if you dont you'll be saying 'what if' for the rest of your life.
Click to expand...

Apparently, it's not over. But I don't know now. I don't want to feel like I'm making her sad or something.

I just realized I haven't slept or eaten since she told me, around 1 AM, 11 hours ago.
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back