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You sound like me and your wife sounds like mine. Let it roll! Resist!
Or stop washing and combing it like I did. It'll get thick and rough and crazy.
From august:
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I trimmed about 4" off of it back around Christmas. It's getting pretty wild again.Yeah, the bottom pic is about where I am at now.
Nuttin wrong with that beard.
Keep it groomed and neat, and use some good quality beard-oil to keep the beardruff at bay. Something I learned recently myself.
That's sig worthy you're a wise man.
It's hard to give suggestions depends on what works for you also how your facial hair grows. Some have patchy facial hair and a full beard doesn't work.
I have about three facial hair arrangements I rotate. Short chin goatee, short full beard (the manicured mountaineer, presentable yet robust) and some times a chin strap...As family guy calls it a pencil thin d**che bag beard.
You can always experiment and find your line up. Beards are in style so don't be afraid to go full blown mountain man I say experiment and see.
She asks me why
I'm just a hairy guy
I'm hairy noon and night
Hair that's a fright
I'm hairy high and low
Don't ask me why
Don't know
It's not for lack of bread
Like the Grateful Dead
Darling
Gimme head with hair
Long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming,
Streaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there hair
Shoulder length or longer
Here baby, there mama
Everywhere daddy daddy
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair
Let it fly in the breeze
And get caught in the trees
Give a home to the fleas in my hair
A home for fleas
A hive for bees
A nest for birds
There ain't no words
For the beauty, the splendor, the wonder
Of my...
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair
I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy
Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty
Oily, greasy, fleecy
Shining, gleaming, streaming
Flaxen, waxen
Knotted, polka-dotted
Twisted, beaded, braided
Powdered, flowered, and confettied
Bangled, tangled, spangled, and spaghettied!
Oh say can you see
My eyes if you can
Then my hair's too short
Down to here
Down to there
Down to where
It stops by itself
They'll be ga ga at the go go
When they see me in my toga
My toga made of blond
Brilliantined
Biblical hair
My hair like Jesus wore it
Hallelujah I adore it
Hallelujah Mary loved her son
Why don't my mother love me?
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair

beard-oil ???
Thanks, people!
I think I might go full "Grizzly Adams". I'm still undecided. But I'm having a hard time firing up the trimmer.
Two words: Billy Gibbons.