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Ok, so here's the deal...

lkngro

lkngro

Feb 4, 2010
388
3
Hockessin, Delaware, USA
#1
I quit my band this past spring. Why? The singer and guitarist don't listen to ANY criticism, and frankly, they aren't that good. (It took us like 4 hours to put together "Father Christmas" by the Kinks for a Christmas show. That song isn't hard. At all.)

They've been wanting my back ever since I left because there aren't any acceptable (to them) bassists out there. Oh, by the way, I'm 16. So are the other guys. That may explain a few things. Anyway, I guess there's this gig that the drummer's dad wants us to do for his work(?). Not sure why.

They said that we'd each get paid $100 for doing it. The thing is, I really have no intention of rejoining the band, because I left for a reason. It's embarrassing to play live with them. I don't want to rejoin because then they may think that I'm back in the band for good, and leaving again would just get them more pissed off at me.

BUT, that's $100 that I need. Girlfriends, cars, and bass gear is all expensive. And $100 for playing for 2 or so hours sounds pretty good to me.

So should I suffer through this show for the money that I need? Or keep my dignity intact?
 
#2
If it takes the band 4 hours to learn one song, that's 120 hours for the 30 or so songs you'd need to play for 2 hours.

That works out to $0.83 an hour.

Go mow some lawns or work at McDonald's or something if you need the money.
 
#3
If the gig was scheduled before you left you may want to do it as a courtesy. If not, I would politely decline. That way they'll know that they can't book gigs and have you cover their bacon. In either case they need to know in no uncertain terms that you're not rejoining the band.
 
#4
butchblack said:
If the gig was scheduled before you left you may want to do it as a courtesy. If not, I would politely decline. That way they'll know that they can't book gigs and have you cover their bacon. In either case they need to know in no uncertain terms that you're not rejoining the band.
Click to expand...
+1

That said...
100 bucks is a 100 bucks.
I'd have a "Business Meeting" with the dad. Tell him you will do the gig as a courtesy and out of respect for him, but that you have no intention of rejoining the band.
You don't have to say why but, if pushed just say something like... We have "Irreconcilable Differences".

Make it clear to the "others" the same... I am willing to do the gig out of respect and as a courtesy to [DEL](insert bonehead's name)'s dad//[/DEL] EDIT: Mr. _______ and that you will not be rejoining the band.
Be polite but business like, as this is more or less a business deal with the dad.
They may still not like you anymore but, YOU will have the RESPECT of the Dad and let me tell you... THAT goes a long way. :cool:
 
#5
I'd add this to Tracebassplayer's excellent advice:
State clearly up front how much rehearsal time you will put in eg "three 4 hour rehearsals". Make it a reasonable amount of time for you to learn the material. Be upfront about why, that you have real concerns about the amount of time it will take the band to learn enough material and that an excessive amount of rehearsal time makes the gig economically unfeasible for you.
 
#6
+1 on talking to the Dad.

If you decide to do the gig, agree on a set list, then let them know that they need to learn the songs on their own and then you'll attend "rehearsal".

Tell them there's no way you will waste time with 4 hour practices to get one song down. +1 on setting boundaries on how much rehearsal time you'll put in.

Let them know if they don't keep their end of the deal, you'll drop out before the gig.

Practice (learning the tunes) is what you do on your own. Rehearsal (playing the songs a few times through) is what the band does.

Still, if you put in, let's say, 30 hours to learn the tunes, 16 hours of rehearsal and 4 hours load in/out for the gig and 2 hours for the gig, you'll have 52 hours total into the project. Less than $2 per our.

Seems like a part-time will get you much further to funding your 3G activities (girls, gear and gasoline).

PS. Who's to say they won't fail to gel for this project and have to cancel out of the gig? Then you'll get nothing out of the deal. A part-time job looks better all the time. :eek:
 
#8
Well, one caveat.

Correct me if I misconstrued this but, drummer's dad arranged this gig without your prior consent or input.
Or did he ask you first?

Or did he just throw it out there:
Work is having a summer party.
We are all kicking in a couple of bucks.
The kid is a drummer and it would be cool if he could play.
Dad went ahead and suggested it to co-workers.
He didn't actually ask you about it first.
Neither did drummer dude.

Now they put the onus on you, here's a gig and it's 100 each. And if you don't do it, you are a major jerk. If you do it and its a trainwreck, you are still a jerk. If it comes out ok, (doesn't sound likely) its a win.

So this is a jerk/jerk/win situation. I think the jerks have it over the win by 2 to 1.

How about, 'Sorry, I have other musical commitments I am working on now, good luck with the gig. Thanks for thinking of me.'


Caddying for money was good. Car wash. Hustle for cash like we all did at 16.

This one sounds like a trainwreck. If the band was better, it might be ok, but it isn't and rather than tell them the truth about the enormous amount of musical suckage, a polite refusal is definitely in order.
 
#9
Don't start selling out at sixteen.

It's never "$100 for 2 or so hours"; got to factor in the rehearsal time, set up, break down and any drivetime related to that.

You could clear $100 in a weekend mowing lawns, ala Meyatch's suggestion. And you wouldn't have to rehearse to do that. And you wouldn't have to argue with anyone along the way.

I suggest you not do this. By the way, you never mentioned whether you were actively looking for another band to join. Getting in another band would give you an "out."
 

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