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On Being "That Guy"

The Golden Boy

The Golden Boy

Jan 2, 2004
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#1
I've been playing for 25+ years. A hack at guitar, a vaguely competent bass player, a hack lead vocalist, decent backup vocalist. Spent most of the past 18 years playing in various original bands- a lot of the time was spent in more than one band at one time. A few years back my regular original band sort of split up, and I got a nice gig playing in a Rolling Stones "tribute" band. That's pretty part time. Since then I've taken to taking fill in gigs for a few bands. I'm not trying to "horn in" on anyone's gig, it's just a fun way to learn more songs, learn new things, play with different people, help people out, and get a little paycheck.

I've done a few gigs, and am booked for a few for a band who's bass player had an injury. However, last night, the bass player wanted a band meeting before I showed up for rehearsal. It seems he's really... uncomfortable with the band playing without him. This band has a intArweb page with a guest book- it seems that on the first gig I subbed with them, someone posted something about "the new bass player" and the band "'finally' getting it together." Now this most recent gig, someone else made a comment about enjoying my playing. I guess this kind of set the regular bass player guy off.

I feel kind of bad- as my intent, and I'm sure the band's intent is just to play and honor their commitments- and I have no designs on taking this dude's position- and am merely "filling in" when he can't make it. But the dude (I guess) seems to feel that he's "replaceable." I know it's not my problem, and personally think the guy is being way too sensitive- but I guess I kind of understand it.

Thoughts?
 
#2
You're vaguely competent on bass? Sounds like you're a bit better than that.

The dude you're filling in for seems to know you're better than he, or at least that's his perception. It bothers him, he feels threatened. Its not your problem, but don't expect a Christmas card from the guy. :ninja:
 
#6
Damned sand in the vag...

You're not doing anything wrong, and it seems you have no intention of taking his spot permanently, so this guy really needs to lighten up and stop letting the criticism of a handful of people get to him.
 
#7
+1 to all responses above.

If someone notice that the bass player is better than the previous one, the difference must be huge between you two bassists. Normally, the bassists aren't the ones getting the attention... ;)

I guess the original bassist got quite a ding in his confidence because of those comments in the band's guestbook. If he continues playing with the band, he will know there's people in the audience that would rather see you on the stage instead of him. Must be quite an awkward situation for him, and for the band, too, if the difference is as noticable as those guessbook posts give the impression of....
 
#8
I'm sure its an uncomfortable situation, but you're in the clear imo. You're just a gun(bass) for hire and if the band actually wants to replace the guy, its up to them.

Being a nice-guy sucks sometimes, but to quote the Godfather II... "...This is the business we've chosen; I didn't ask who gave the order, because it had nothing to do with business!"
 
#9
+1 also...

sounds like someone needs to step it up a notch and play better...

i had this problem in nashville a couple of times on the drums...some guys would get all jealous and crap about me filling in, or getting called into the studio....i'm like, whatever!
 
#10
Yeah like all are saying, you have to let this ride. But, if you get approached for the chair, have a well thought out answer ready.

There are better players than me in my area. Younger too. But that in no way plays anywhere near the whole role in why I have my gig. If the dude your subbing for is hanging on to his gig strictly because of he playing ability, he has some things to work out and perhaps so does the band. More to being in a successful, functioning band than being able to play.

JKT
 
#11
ElectrAcoustic said:
Sounds like the guy is overly-sensitive.. his problem, not yours. We're all replaceable as much as we'd love to think we're not.. do your thing man and more power to you..
Click to expand...

+1 on being replaceable. It's the way of the world, and the only way to minimize your being replaced is to bring your talents to the game....muscianship, stage prescence, reliability, good relationships, collaboration...all the things that go into being a good band member.
 
#12
Your doing a short term gig while this guy is out. If the band decide to keep you on then I'm sure you would refuse since your obviously not interested in a full time slot with them.

So if they decide to stop gigging until the regular player comes back. Not your problem.

If they decide to keep gigging regardless. Then you get a few more gigs and a bit of a pay check.

If they ask you to join you'll prbably refuse and again its not your problem.

Basically any outcome of this isn't your problem. The bands business isn't your problem. Either you do the gig your hired to do or you don't
 
#13
+1 about everyone being replaceable...

Look what happened with Alex Katunich AKA "Dirk Lance", an outstanding bass player, Stu Zender, etc.

There is always a guy that can do the job for ya! (instead of...i meant)
 
#15
tbh if a guy was filling in for me and i saw such comments on the web i'd be pretty bummed. i'm not the most confident guy in the world and that would provide a big knock. but it would also resolve me to push myself more than i already do.

talk to the dude, tell him you're just filling in and won't replace him.
 
#16
in the words of my old coach:

" everyone is expendable. i don't care who you are, but i just may replece all the starters with nerds. then we'd lose so i wouldn't do that. did i mention i'm the othodox minister today? yeah, everyone is expendable. everyone."


yeah, he was a little on the cooky side. figured i'd share that with ya.
 
#17
Don't feel bad for doing a good job. If you want to ease the injured bassist's mind, talk to him and let him know you're there to make his band sound good and not try to take his spot. Hopefully this will lead to increased motivation for him to raise his level of performance and everyone will benefit.
 
#18
Being part of a band is not being married to a band - there is no lifetime commitment, it's a job for everyone - a fun one - and everyone is replaceable. The more well done the act of replacing is, the fewer hard feelings there will be, but there's usually some hard feelings regardless. If you get offered the gig, and want it, then take it and don't look behind you (except at the drummer).
 
#20
Lots of good advice here. First, don't feel bad for doing a good job. Second, keeping the other bassist happy is not you job - that's up to his band mates. Third, if you don't want to take over the gig, be sure to make it clear to everyone in the band that you are only standing in temporarily. Fourth, when the other bassist comes back, go see a gig and then write a supportive comment on the website.
 

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