I do agree that there are some potentially douchey aspects of trying gear in a store and then buying online. I just don't think it's necessarily a black and white issue.
I usually don't have any intent of buying when I go to a music store. Most of the time I walk out without picking up a bass or turning on an amp. If I do see something interesting that I want to try, it usually requires little to no interaction with the sales staff. If the sales staff bugs me too much, it's a turn off. This goes for online sales as well--Sweetwater! When I opt out, take the hint and stop leaving me pathetic voice mails and emails.
In rare circumstances, I may try the same item at multiple stores. This can be informative because the bass, amp, and speaker interact. So for example, if you try the same amp in three different stores with different cabs and basses, you may find you like some combinations and dislike others. If I eventually decide to buy the amp, which store am I obligated to buy from?
The best way I think brick and mortar stores can justify themselves is if they are honest and provide superior expertise and quality service. Unfortunately, one of the first things many places seem to do for cost cutting is fire the people who can provide value-added expertise and service. This occurs because qualified people generally demand higher wages. I am willing to pay a little extra at places that maintain the ability to provide expertise and service. Most music stores only have clerks with little to no actual background in professional music. If they can't offer me a deal, then they are off little to no use.
I have no problem going to places like Guitar Center and then buying online. I may wind up buying from Guitar Center.com or one of their affiliates like
Musicians Friend.
To be honest the quality of online vendors has really gone down over the years as well. Many seem to carry less serious music gear and stock primarily low-value, mass-marketed, entry-level crap that I have no interest in. It's also pretty hard to find a brick and mortar that stocks anything interesting.
As far as putting my money where my mouth is. When I first moved here, there was a pretty decent large music store with a decent reputation. I had bought a big B-stock tube amp off Ebay. The store bent over backwards to help me when the amp had problems, even though it was not a brand they sold. I returned the favor by buying a used 1960AX cab and the demo Mesa M9 Carbine off their showroom floor. I also had them service at least three of my other amps, and bought some accessories like a speakON to 1/4" adapter. They still closed. The owner decided he did not want to do it anymore. He liquidated his inventory and moved away.
After that, I visited the local Guitar Center a few times. It's been years since I went back because they rarely have anything I find interesting. I have bought quite a bit of used gear from Guitar Center over the years, both in-store and online.
A few years back, I went to pick up one of my mountain bikes from repair at the local Trek dealer. I asked if they had any brake pads in stock for my other bike. They said they could order them, or I could order them online. I paid and left with my bike.
On the way home I stopped in a local mom and pop shop near my house. I waited patiently because the owner was engaged with another customer. When it was my turn, I asked if he stocked the pads I wanted. He said he could order them. I said thanks, I'll check another local shop, and then turned to leave. He offered to do a price check for me and I said I have already checked the price online. At this point he started getting upset and asked me the online price. I told him the online price which was about half what he would have charged. At this point he became irate and essentially kicked me out of his store.
So I went out of my way to check if he had the part in stock. I was even willing to pay his regular price for the convenience of having the part in-hand. I am not willing to pay extra if it means I have to come back. I would rather order online and have the part show up at my house and cost less.
If they guy had demonstrated a commitment to quality customer service, I would even have considered taking my bikes to him in the future, when the level of work was over my head. Instead, he burned any chance of forming a customer relationship. I don't think it's much of a surprise that the shop is no longer open.
Some small business owners seem to think they have a right or entitlement to my business. But IMHO they have to earn and maintain that right, or I will give my business to whoever I please.