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Panic attacks when trying to practice

#22
Everybody makes mistakes and flubs up; even the President's finger goes through the toilet paper once in a while; that is just the way it is.

You aren't performing for anyone but yourself at this point and in the big scheme of things, a sharp or flat note makes no difference. Is it panic, or perhaps the realization that it will take years to perfect your skills? Most neophyte players are lucky to be able to play along with a CD or the radio, much less create non-derivative bass lines.

It may look easy, but it isn't. Just take a deep breath, realize that you aren't deciding the fate of nations and have fun, nobody is watching.
 
#23
you're thinking too much. While this is a sign of a perfectionist who wants his or her art to be exactly the way they want it to be, it will get in your way during development. Right now, you need to spend time getting comfortable with your instrument and that takes time, even if you noodle on it unamplified while watching TV. You are too aware of what your are doing - the mechanics of it, not of the music you are playing. Play something easy until it becomes second nature. Remember, you can't push a chain.
 
#24
I think with a problem like this, you need to visualize.

Close your eyes, and think back to being a child of eight. Your mom and dad are fighting, and they might get divorced and its your fault. In the closet, under the bed, and everywhere you can't see, there are scary, scary clowns, with red, staring eyes, and sharp, bloody teeth. You are going to play bass, and your third grade teacher, who hates you, is watching, just waiting for you to make a mistake, and rap your knuckles with a ruler. Every woman who ever rejected or ignored you is also there, and if you can get through it all with perfection, they will all sleep with you, and profess their undying love. The Russians and the Chinese are there too, and if you get even one note wrong, they are going to start WWIII, and kill lots of babies, just for the fun of it, and make their parents watch. Oh, and torture puppies. LOTS of puppies. And kitties too.

Note that this is parody, and not an actual exercise, and smile. It's just an extreme example, to make you think of just how terrifying you have made something that is fun, and is actually of little consequence. If you need to get some help, please do. Don't let the fear win. Just play something, anything, and try not to worry.
 
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#25
The O.P. can't even play scales without being nervous. This isn't just being overly critical of himself. It's more like an irrational phobia developing here, and its getting worse. There are professional who can help him deal with that. I'm not saying he totally nuts. Lots of people have irrational fears; I know I do, but its something that does really affect me day-to-day so I let it be. If the OP wants to get past this, he may need to seek out some help beyond the opinions of a bunch of well-meaning musicians on a forum.
 
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#27
It sounds as if you have some anxiety disorder/panic attack type stuff going on here. It's not funny, nothing to be made light of. I struggle with anxiety/panic with a certain situation that I won't go into here - but the thing you need to realize is that there is some element of obsessive/compulsive perfectionist tendency that couples with a generally anxious personality and creates this issue inside of you. I'm not saying you need professional help, but spend some time researching this and cognitive therapies you can use to fight it. Good luck and stay strong. It's not about the bass, or your playing, really - it's deeper than that. It could just have easily started with thinking about the doors not being locked, or having to travel somewhere, or etc. Seriously - research it and if you need to get help, get help. There should be no shame or embarrassment with it - MILLIONS of people deal with this stuff to one level or another.
 
#28
I've been playing for 22 years, and I also have issues with depression & anxiety that I've dealt with for even longer, so I absolutely get where you're coming from.
A few years ago I had an injury that left me with a good amount of nerve damage in both hands & now I've also got the beginnings of arthritis. The physical aspect of playing often requires far more effort and concentration than it should. I'm not as good as I used to be, which bothers me. There are things I feel like I physically can not do anymore, which bothers me. I make a lot of stupid mistakes when I play. All of which feed into my anxiety, which causes mistakes etc etc until I decide to stop the cycle.
Needless to say, I don't play out anymore which stinks but I'm working on it. It's a confidence issue more than anything.

Like everyone else said, get a teacher. They don't even have to play bass necessarily (although it would help); theory is theory, even a piano teacher can help you out. In fact, take a few piano lessons while you're at it & apply those lessons to your bass.
If it's an anxiety thing keeping you from seeking outside instruction, then have a friend or family member on your side who can kick your butt out the door & force you to leave your comfort zone if you can't do it yourself.

Chill out, take a deep breath & relax. Switch off the analytical part of your brain and just goof around til something sounds good, then run with it. Record yourself; I bet you'll be surprised once you play it back & listen. Put the bass down for a bit when you start being too hard on yourself. It's good to criticize yourself to a point, but check yourself before you let it go too far.

I know it's easier said than done, but don't let your hangups keep you from what you love.
 
#30
There are a lot of good comments I would also try reading a book like effortless mastery by Kenny Werner or the inner game of music by Barry Green-I think that's the name of the second book. This may help you quiet your mind, after some of the common sense approaches are tried out.
 
#31
I'll second or third or whatever the suggestion to get a teacher, preferably bass specifically because if you're going to be taught, technique is an important part of it and someone who teaches something else will be of almost no help when it comes to technique. The only thing harder than technique to learn is unlearning bad technique. I'm constantly ridiculed because of mine!

I'm thinking that the (your) problem is that you have no way mark progress in your learning. If you think about it, almost everything we learn is marked by milestones of progress so that you know that you've achieved a goal. A line in the sand that you strive for and hit, before looking for the next one. The same goes for learning bass in this case. Unfortunately, teaching yourself with no plan and no knowledge of what's right or wrong, you can't see what is or isn't progress. So it feels like your spinning your wheels and not accomplishing anything. The feeling of panic comes from worrying about spending a bunch of time and not gaining anything. The feeling that "all I'm going to do is get frustrated so why try or put in the time?"

The solution? First, as was mentioned, you could get a teacher who can help you set goals and plan ways to get you there. The second way and probably the way many of us started was to join a band with people on a level close to or a little above your own. In that situation a specific song is the goal. Once that's decided, you go home and have something specific to work on and bring back to the group to put it all together. Accountability to other people can be a great second driving factor. Not quite getting it? Maybe someone in the group can help you out. Maybe a teacher still fits into this equation and in addition to helping you with the basics, can incorporate the music you need for your band.

In any case, find a way to measure your improvement. And then find a way to put it practical use that's rewarding to you. Some people are content to be able to play for themselves. Others, like me, need to be part of a group that plays for an audience. Find a way that works for you and I'm sure you'll find the whole experience very rewarding in the end. Unless you've got an amazing natural talent, going it alone can be very frustrating.
 
#32
Are you having actual panic attacks (e.g. shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat, dizziness, etc), or just negative thoughts?

If you're having full-blown panic attacks (or something you think is going to lead to one), there is a deeper issue unrelated to music or your ability. Get some counseling or it may start to come out elsewhere in your life. Music is an outlet, and a lot of things come out via outlets, both good and bad.

Kuoxasar said:
I felt like everything I'd think of was derivative garbage
Click to expand...

Absolutely everyone's artistic expressions are essentially derivative garbage. Nobody comes up with stuff in a vacuum. You absolutely have to wade thru all the derivative in order to learn how to put your own creative spin on things. There is nothing negative about it, other than the power you give those thoughts to ruin your good time. Don't give power to things that don't have power.

Good luck.

-Alan
 
#34
I vote for the possibility of something deeper. If you are deeply critical with your skills in other things, counseling might help. There is no shame in wanting to get to the bottom of these feelings. It could be something simple like poor grades, or a tilted love. A counselor can talk you through those things and give you some relief and direction. I hope I'm not sounding like a "know it all". My youngest son had feelings of low self worth for years into early adulthood. We got him involved in counseling for a year and it did wonders for his confidence.
 
#36
hsech said:
I vote for the possibility of something deeper. If you are deeply critical with your skills in other things, counseling might help. There is no shame in wanting to get to the bottom of these feelings. It could be something simple like poor grades, or a tilted love. A counselor can talk you through those things and give you some relief and direction. I hope I'm not sounding like a "know it all". My youngest son had feelings of low self worth for years into early adulthood. We got him involved in counseling for a year and it did wonders for his confidence.
Click to expand...
The O.P. has been HERE since 09
How young could he be?
The mere fact that he HAS been here since 09, and yet not even progressed
To ME indicates he is NOT doing a very bang up job of teaching himself.
He needs professional help.
 
#37
My 0.02:

I concur with others on getting a teacher. This should give you structure and focus for your practising.
Just remember, this is practice not performance. You are allowed to make mistakes! I would go so far as to say that if you aren't making mistakes, you aren't getting as much out of your practice (especially in the case of learning new things)!

If this is a deep rooted problem then seek counselling. A good counsellor, like a good teacher, can make all the difference. Be sure "shop" around and find one you like (counsellor and teacher).
 
#38
Kuoxasar said:
Anyone ever deal with something like that?
Click to expand...

Panic attacks, no. Feeling that I am worthless, hopelessly derivative, and making no progress, sure! We cannot tell from a distance how serious your panic attacks are and most of us are unqualified to judge anyway. All we can say is that you might need help from a professional counselor to deal with those. Keep an open mind to that and seek help if you need it.

It actually doesn't take a great deal of practice time to become useful on a bass. This fact deceives many into thinking that bass is easy. Bass guitar is no easier to play than any other instrument but the bass lines in a piece of music are such a powerful foundation for all the rest that brain dead simple bass lines can be rather effective. A simple bass line is infinitely better than no bass line. Once you are to the point where you can play a simple bass line from ear or by reading the chords on a chart you are ready to start playing in an ensemble. One option for you is to try to find a band of rank amateurs like yourself to start practicing with. You may be embarrassed by how simple and "ineffective" your playing is in your bedroom but if you play with a live band you will start to hear how what you are doing fits in with the rest and you will find that it is good, very good. At least for me I find that happens quite naturally with other live musicians but not so much when playing to recordings. Having confidence in what you are doing is the first step towards being able to play creatively. You just need to keep playing and playing and playing. This stuff is not easy except perhaps for a very gifted few. For most of us it only comes from a LOT of hard work and long hours. You have to be willing to be embarrassed frequently and continually to get where you want to go. If you cannot do that then hooking up with an instructor is also a good idea whether you start to work with other musicians or not and working with one instructor may be easier for you right now than working with a band. The instructor will teach you a lot and that will give you confidence. An instructor will also hold you accountable for practicing which is something you clearly need.

The only way to learn to avoid mistakes is to stop obsessing over them. If you obsess over them you will make them. Over and over and over. I play with some fabulous musicians and many of them almost never make mistakes. Almost. After having played with them for a few years now I have heard them all make a mistake now and then. It is a fine line. You don't want to become complacent about mistakes but you don't want to obsess about them either. Practice through them, keep practicing until you KNOW that you don't have to make them, until you can play that passage in your sleep. And then when you actually make them in a performance keep on going as if it hadn't happened. Unless you play jazz. If you play jazz then you go back and make that same mistake four or five times so that everyone knows it is the note you intended to play. Seriously, once in a while a mistake that you make turns out to be exactly that creative nuance that you have been grasping for without success for weeks....

We all have our moments. I've played with my church band for about three years. This fall we were suddenly asked to re-audition for our positions and I pretty much went into a panic over that. I had not auditioned in the first place, not formally anyway. I had sat in at a few rehearsals playing into headphones while the rest of the band (and another bassist) prepped themselves for the upcoming Sunday. Then at one rehearsal I walked into the church and was greeted with the news that the other bassist was sick so I was on for next Sunday. My first audition consisted of the worship pastor devoting whatever scant attention he could spare to listen to me in the midst of a busy rehearsal. This time I had to play in front of all the other people auditioning for jobs in the worship teams. I'd prepared two short pieces for the occasion, nailed the first, and then got so absolutely nervous that I cold not make my left hand do anything and completely muffed the second. I was sure I was dead after that even though the audition continued with us all being rotated on and off stage as they tried various combinations to select two teams this year instead of the four they had used in previous years. For all that I got picked for one of the teams. Our own sense of worth often poorly matches what others perceive in us. Sometimes we are wildly optimistic, many of us undervalue our present worth as well as our potential. So press on, get a band, get an instructor, and if you need it get some counseling. You can do it!!
 
#40
As someone who's had to deal with seriously self-destructive thinking patterns and cycles (due to being generally hyper-self-critical and living with depression)...I'm able to attest to the powerful physical form those thoughts can take. It's possible to totally paralyze yourself just with your brain. There was a point where my hands would shake just while holding and trying to play an instrument. Any instrument. All from the overwhelming sense that I had no business touching it.

Luckily, it's also possible to dig out, and I'm in the process of doing that right this very moment. You're not alone, we're not alone. There's lots of good advice in this thread...and even in this day and age, we still tend to stigmatize counseling, but it can be a wonderful aid and helps millions of people in the US alone. For me, a brief meditation before practicing (or anything needing coordinated use of my hands; the problem got THAT bad for me) has helped me relax, empty my head of distracting thoughts, slow my pulse down a little, and generally give myself the feeling of taking control of my own body once again.

Then, simple beginner exercises. Making whole sessions out of just basics...thumping along to a slow metronome, etc. Went from there, slowly. Made me feel good about holding the bass, which I needed more than anything.

Once I mustered the courage to play in front of anyone else (a very chill blues guitarist, doing basic changes to start with), it wasn't long before I was feeling comfortable enough to spread my wings a little, so to speak. (sidenote: playing with other people is a WAY different experience from playing along with a recording; that recording was practiced countless times, and probably tracked a lot of times before the perfect take. And we're comparing ourselves to that when we play along to learn. Why do we do that to ourselves??)

And I've got a gig in three days in what should be a packed auditorium. It took time, but I've come a pretty good ways, and I'm confident that you can too.
 
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