Realistic Scenario:
Club Owner: Yes, this is John Johnson, of Johnson's Good Time Bar. How can I help you?
Musician: Hi, this is Bob Bobson of the Bobs. The Bobs are a Classic/Rock dance band, who have played the area for three years. We have a decent sized following, including a website and a face book page. We charge $400.00 for a full night, playing four sets of music with three fifteen minute breaks. We prefer Saturday nights, as many of our followers have day jobs. We have videos and sound files available on CD and DVD, and you can also access all of this on our website.
Club Owner: Here's my email. Send me a link, and I will listen to your stuff. We don't book many new bands, as we already have plenty of popular bands bringing in business, but we will check you out. Get back with me in three weeks.
Musician: Thanks, I will do this. Good talking to you!
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How Some Club Owners Think I Sound
Club Owner: Yes, this is John Johnson, of Johnson's Good Time Bar. How can I help you?
Musician: I say, my good man. I am very proud to announce that I am Bob Bobson, of the Bobs. The Bobs have taken music to a new level of artistry and entertainment value, and I assure you that your customers have never imbibed refreshments to a band of this quality, in fact, never before in the history of civilization has anyone been as fortunate as you were to get this phone call, right now. Women sigh, and men faint at the very sight of us, and that's before we even start playing. You would have to be some kind of moronic, hick idiot to have not already heard of us, and considered doling out the incredibly paltry sum of a mere $400.00 for us to make our magic in your decidedly inferior establishment.
Bar Owner: I doubt very much you're as good as all that, and there is no chance we will ever hire you.
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How Some Club Owners Sound to Me:
Club Owner: Me havv clubb! Me havv best clubb in all of whole world!!! You want play here? You bring hundreds, no! Thousands of paying cutsomers, buy lots of booze and tip well! Iff you new, you play SUNDAY MORNING from 11-2, and bring own PA and patrons! NO PAY except small percentage of door! You make us minimum TEN MILLION DOLLARS or we make sure you NO WORK IN TOWN AGAIN.
Musician: We don't actually work for door, and Sunday mornings would be hard for us to arrange.
Club Owner: What you called? The Bobs? I tell you now, Bobs no play here! Never play here! This best club ever built. Bands call from far away as Sweden and New Guinea just to hear me tell them no. Next weekend, we have Aerosmith and Cheap Trick, and we make THEM play for door, too! They get Saturday night, though, cuz they havv good track record, or used to.
Club Owner: Yes, this is John Johnson, of Johnson's Good Time Bar. How can I help you?
Musician: Hi, this is Bob Bobson of the Bobs. The Bobs are a Classic/Rock dance band, who have played the area for three years. We have a decent sized following, including a website and a face book page. We charge $400.00 for a full night, playing four sets of music with three fifteen minute breaks. We prefer Saturday nights, as many of our followers have day jobs. We have videos and sound files available on CD and DVD, and you can also access all of this on our website.
Club Owner: Here's my email. Send me a link, and I will listen to your stuff. We don't book many new bands, as we already have plenty of popular bands bringing in business, but we will check you out. Get back with me in three weeks.
Musician: Thanks, I will do this. Good talking to you!
***************************
How Some Club Owners Think I Sound
Club Owner: Yes, this is John Johnson, of Johnson's Good Time Bar. How can I help you?
Musician: I say, my good man. I am very proud to announce that I am Bob Bobson, of the Bobs. The Bobs have taken music to a new level of artistry and entertainment value, and I assure you that your customers have never imbibed refreshments to a band of this quality, in fact, never before in the history of civilization has anyone been as fortunate as you were to get this phone call, right now. Women sigh, and men faint at the very sight of us, and that's before we even start playing. You would have to be some kind of moronic, hick idiot to have not already heard of us, and considered doling out the incredibly paltry sum of a mere $400.00 for us to make our magic in your decidedly inferior establishment.
Bar Owner: I doubt very much you're as good as all that, and there is no chance we will ever hire you.
***************************
How Some Club Owners Sound to Me:
Club Owner: Me havv clubb! Me havv best clubb in all of whole world!!! You want play here? You bring hundreds, no! Thousands of paying cutsomers, buy lots of booze and tip well! Iff you new, you play SUNDAY MORNING from 11-2, and bring own PA and patrons! NO PAY except small percentage of door! You make us minimum TEN MILLION DOLLARS or we make sure you NO WORK IN TOWN AGAIN.
Musician: We don't actually work for door, and Sunday mornings would be hard for us to arrange.
Club Owner: What you called? The Bobs? I tell you now, Bobs no play here! Never play here! This best club ever built. Bands call from far away as Sweden and New Guinea just to hear me tell them no. Next weekend, we have Aerosmith and Cheap Trick, and we make THEM play for door, too! They get Saturday night, though, cuz they havv good track record, or used to.
