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Quick question concerning MIM Fender bridges

I would just like to know, as I desire a new bridge, what bridges will fit my mim jazz without requiring the punching of additional holes, or otherwise be a hassle? I just DO NOT feel like mutilating my baby with my woodworking "skills". Also, I've noticed that some bridges come with no grooves in the saddles....WTH?
 
So then, bridges said to have "fender five-hole" pattern are what I'm seeking? Appearances are secondary to function, as far as my priorities go, I just want a bridge that
1. Transmits maximum vibrations to the body of the bass
2. Does not rattle, buzz, or do anything untoward
3. Allows me to set the lowest conceivable action my bass can tolerate
4. Holds the settings with unquestioned stability and reliability
5. REALLY REALLY SHINY :D
 
the "max vibration" thing is debatable; many will argue that the lighter bridges actually transmit more vibration to the body wood. in reality, the difference might be marginal.

"low action" is not a factor, any normal bridge will let you set the action wherever you want, the bridge has nothing to do with it.

rattling, buzzing, and holding together are the things that might actually make a difference between one bridge and another; the other is string spacing, whether it's adjustable or not. the leo quan is both stable and can be set for different spacings.

i still like the vintage-style threaded-rod saddles; they'll go right on your original plate, allow for proper spacing between the jazz pickup magnet pairs, and when set right, don't move around, since the saddles get pressed together by the strings.

plus, they're cheap.
 
Fender High Mass off a Blacktop Jazz or Precision. I paid 41 for mine off eBay and love it. The light is deceiving in the picture, the bridge is chrome, not gold.
 

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So, I think that the Fender design is a real winner. I like it, and it seems to be my best bet for the functionality I desire. Now, could anybody fill me in on how to slot a bridge? this seems like a wonderful opportunity to learn some new setup and assembly skills. I also need to adjust my neck, but thats a different thread :hmm:
 
Schaller 2000. Adjusts in three directions: action, intonation *and* string spacing. Typical Fender "5 holes".

Note: the threefold adjustment means also that for every change you make, you have to loosen the string quite a lot, and retune. Over and over...
 
I think i'm going to opt for the fender bridge. I just plain like it, and in my current financial druthers, the cost makes sense. Now, I would be very grateful to tb if I could get some info on properly slotting the bridge saddles. Google yielded very little info :/ also, I am well aware botching this means a ruined bridge, so please, save the "pay a tech" suggestions. This is a chance to learn a very important skill, and I'd love to seize it. Thanks for the replies so far, and thanks in advance for making my upcoming bridge swap a success :-)
 
then make this easy and cheap; a set of Link Removed are like $15, and will go right on with no filing or other work.

once installed, you'll be able to easily tweak string spacing.