indeed, i dont hesitate to smooth a neck to my preference. i wouldnt use steel wool, though, but if you do, be very careful of the fragments that inevitably flake off---- those steel "hairs" could potentially cause a number of electrical problems, including wrecked pickups, or so the legend goes. i used to use 0000 wool to polish frets until i heard and read of problems such as pickup failure being attributed to it. i have definitely had to pick little steel furballs off of pole-pieces, even after having been "careful".
i actually just prepped a glossy neck to my preference, which seems similar to yours. with the neck off, i wet-sanded (well, *damp* sanded--- but i damped it frequently to flow the cuttings) with 400, 600, 800, 1000, and 1500. i keep these fine grits around for polishing aluminum (up to 3000 grit), but they work great for this sort of thing. dont be aggressive, and let the abrasive do the work. try and keep it as even as possible for uniformity, and to avoid a potential sand through. sand in a straight line---- i rub mine like i would a 24" friend, and i rest it in that general area. 2000 used dry works primo for polishing frets, and really doesnt remove enough material to pose a problem. i suppose you *could* sand the frets down if you were, say, on meth and board. anyway, it makes a huge difference in the way the instrument feels. i do it to all of mine including acoustic instruments. you will find that playing it regularly will eventually polish the finish back to gloss, and you will have to do it again. for me, it seems to happen over the course of 6-18 months, depending on how hard the finish is, and how much i play that instrument.