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So I'm looking for a 2nd band and...

I put an ad out there on C-list. Found an established, local band (whom I hadn't heard of but has shows). I liked their set list a lot. Their sound on youtube/FB sounded like they were competent. They contacted me (the drummer). Need a bassist "right away". Theirs had moved back to his home State during the shut-down. We have gigs in late October, he says.

The Guy: "So we practice at my house which is (the address)"
Me: "Great. I live 5 minutes from there."
The Guy: "So pick out some songs from our list and we'll have a try-out."
Me: (30 minutes later) - "Here's 10-15 I could do pretty much right now. When do you want to get together? I could do it tomorrow, this weekend, whenever."
The Guy: "we only need these 6 or 7 songs. We can't do it this week, this weekend or next week. How about the week after?"
Me: "Great. I'll be ready and I'll be there."

Yesterday - day of try-out, 4pm (tryout was supposed to be at 7)

The Guy: "Sorry one of our guys can't make it. can we do it next week?"
Me: "Yes, ok" .....

But really wondering...ok it will have been almost 3 weeks since they contacted me for a try-out, really needing a bassist to do gigs in October. Next tuesday is already October what? the 5th?

Just sorta frustrated. How hard is it to organize a 6-7 song try-out when i live right in the same literal area where they practice without waiting 3 weeks? Unserious band? Flakes? and no, none of us are kids. We are all "mature."

I feel like I've been on this carousel before...and I'm seeing red flags popping up.

Carrots
 
People are busy, and during these crazy pandemic days, it seems even harder for routine events to fall into place. Getting 4-5 people's schedules to line up can sometimes be like pushing a wet noodle uphill. I wouldn't cut your losses just yet. There are SO many angles to this scenario that seem like a good fit. I would just roll with it, and see how the jam works...then you'll know real quick if this is meant to be. Good luck!
 
Yeah, I'd be cautiously optimistic. I'm in a trio and sometimes it's flipping impossible to coordinate a time to get together. That said, we are geographically dispersed, so for two of us it's a major commitment, which makes it harder. The third has become a full blown drunk, so there is that wildcard.

So yeah, your post reminds me I need to find another band......LOL!

I'd give them one more shot. I'd check every couple of days leading up to the get together to see if things were still on track.
 
Sounds like perhaps they are a non-rehearsal band - they feel like they know the material and each other well enough to not need it. These types of bands are typically hard to gather for non paying events such as this. If this is the case, I'd be a little less concerned, and would probably be preparing as if to sub for them - because it could very well come down to "auditioning at a gig".

Of course they could also be super flakes stringing you along. I would hope by now, you know if they typically rehearse or not. If they do typically rehearse, I think they'd be in my mirror.

While I like rehearsing (most of the time), I could probably tolerate this environment for a regularly gigging band once I felt the band out a little - let me learn the show WITH you guys.

And will add this: when I'm band shopping, I never let a situation like this prevent me from chasing other opportunities. I have passed on subsequent audition opportunities while waiting for the initial inquiry to occur only to never get to the first audition and see other opportunities vanish. Lesson learned: until I'm locked down, I'm still a free agent.
 
“Potential new band...issues...”

If not for the fact that we live in different places I would swear you’re talking about my band. Also, if I wasn’t sure you aren’t me, I would think you are me. I gave up on bands for many years because of nonsense like this. Got back into it Last year and have already quit two bands. Down to one now and I’m teetering m the edge because of the same type of stuff you’re talking about. My wife keeps telling me to just do a YouTube channel and let that be my outlet for playing bass.
 
My band mates and I love each other. We're like family. Sometimes we hang out on weekends with no instruments.

Scheduling a jam is a challenge. We all have kids. We all have jobs. In short, we all have lives.

Sometimes we'll go 4 or 5 weeks without getting together because of conflicts. Stir in families and scheduling becomes exponentially harder.

If you have the whole list, start working on it now. It'll be a fun project and a learning experience anyway. If you get the job you'll be ahead of the game. Worst case you don't get the job but you learned some songs you never played before.

A good band is hard to find. I wouldn't throw in the towel until you at least get together with them.

Life is too short. Find your Zen place.
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It's tricky. If they sound decent I suppose there are valid reasons they can't all meet their own previously agreed to commitment to try out / rehearse. Especially with the pandemic, the way they're all at work fewer hours and there's literally nothing new on TV, and Netflix, don't get me started, ain't been anything new on Netflix for 6 years. So I get it. They're busy.

I'm not sure I'd walk away without a meeting if there is any interest in the gigs, you said they sound good.
But I'd also start being a little less flexible. Maybe next time say they invite you push back an hour or so just to see if they're for real.

My axiom is that there are bassists and there are the rest of the musicians. Bassists show up on time, have their own gear, don't get smashed between load-in and start, show up ready with the material. Ya know, bassist stuff. It's tricky to try to transfer all these traits to guitarists and drummers.
 
I understand that some bands know the material so well that they don't need to rehearse often or ever. but if you are replacing a member, and you claim it's important to do it quickly, putting someone off for 3 weeks because you simply cannot find 90 minutes to get together to try out someone at the position that you seem very interested in...is...well...a bit odd.

And if you are of course putting someone new into your lineup, you have to stop and do rehearsals in order to get the new person full integrated into things. So you should be prepared to block out nights or weekend days or whatever to accomplish that.

so far, I'm getting mixed signals on these things. it's not like they are in the top 10 most recognized bands around here, and assume any bassist can just show up and do a show.

anyway we shall see
 
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Two things:
  1. I'm unconditionally cutting everybody slack in the time of covid
  2. musicians can be friggin flakes, some more than others
Sometimes joining a band means showing up and playing gigs without any rehearsals. Sometimes it means one rehearsal before each gig, sometimes one rehearsal then a string of gigs, sometimes it means months of work before playing out. I've done all of those, and as I've gotten older, come to appreciate fewer rehearsals. It's more of a challenge (obvs) to show up and play cold, but unless you're getting paid for rehearsals, it's a much higher hourly rate to just play gigs. On the other hand, my tolerance for flakiness has decreased significantly; your description does have some red flags to be wary of. Proceed with caution!