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So I'm looking for a 2nd band and...

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by QORC, Sep 30, 2020.

  1. QORC


    Aug 22, 2003
    Elberon, New Jersey
    I put an ad out there on C-list. Found an established, local band (whom I hadn't heard of but has shows). I liked their set list a lot. Their sound on youtube/FB sounded like they were competent. They contacted me (the drummer). Need a bassist "right away". Theirs had moved back to his home State during the shut-down. We have gigs in late October, he says.

    The Guy: "So we practice at my house which is (the address)"
    Me: "Great. I live 5 minutes from there."
    The Guy: "So pick out some songs from our list and we'll have a try-out."
    Me: (30 minutes later) - "Here's 10-15 I could do pretty much right now. When do you want to get together? I could do it tomorrow, this weekend, whenever."
    The Guy: "we only need these 6 or 7 songs. We can't do it this week, this weekend or next week. How about the week after?"
    Me: "Great. I'll be ready and I'll be there."

    Yesterday - day of try-out, 4pm (tryout was supposed to be at 7)

    The Guy: "Sorry one of our guys can't make it. can we do it next week?"
    Me: "Yes, ok" .....

    But really wondering...ok it will have been almost 3 weeks since they contacted me for a try-out, really needing a bassist to do gigs in October. Next tuesday is already October what? the 5th?

    Just sorta frustrated. How hard is it to organize a 6-7 song try-out when i live right in the same literal area where they practice without waiting 3 weeks? Unserious band? Flakes? and no, none of us are kids. We are all "mature."

    I feel like I've been on this carousel before...and I'm seeing red flags popping up.

  2. pjbassist


    Mar 13, 2014
    Fort Wayne, IN
    People are busy, and during these crazy pandemic days, it seems even harder for routine events to fall into place. Getting 4-5 people's schedules to line up can sometimes be like pushing a wet noodle uphill. I wouldn't cut your losses just yet. There are SO many angles to this scenario that seem like a good fit. I would just roll with it, and see how the jam works...then you'll know real quick if this is meant to be. Good luck!
    Mr_Moo, Joe Nerve, murphy and 15 others like this.
  3. QORC


    Aug 22, 2003
    Elberon, New Jersey
    yeah I hear it but like I said, been down this road before. and I've got Band PTSD :). but yes I will sit tight. I'll take wagers on whether this try-out occurs next Tuesday, or whether it ever happens at all.
  4. buldog5151bass

    buldog5151bass Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.

    Oct 22, 2003
    Yeah, things are crazy right now. Proceed with caution, but proceed. If things go well, it's reasonable to ask if there regularly are issues with rehearsal.
  5. QORC


    Aug 22, 2003
    Elberon, New Jersey
    of course in this case, if it doesn't work out, I may be running into this guy at the local Grocery Store forever...lol
  6. Yeah, I'd be cautiously optimistic. I'm in a trio and sometimes it's flipping impossible to coordinate a time to get together. That said, we are geographically dispersed, so for two of us it's a major commitment, which makes it harder. The third has become a full blown drunk, so there is that wildcard.

    So yeah, your post reminds me I need to find another band......LOL!

    I'd give them one more shot. I'd check every couple of days leading up to the get together to see if things were still on track.
    murphy and QORC like this.
  7. Phaenomenal


    Jun 12, 2020
    New York
    If you don't lose anything waiting on them, I would say just go with it and do the audition when they get to it, but it's something you should keep in mind after the audition when you weigh all the pros and cons in your decision to join the band.
    murphy, fleabitten, 12BitSlab and 2 others like this.
  8. mrcbass


    Jan 14, 2016
    Sacramento, CA
    Sounds like perhaps they are a non-rehearsal band - they feel like they know the material and each other well enough to not need it. These types of bands are typically hard to gather for non paying events such as this. If this is the case, I'd be a little less concerned, and would probably be preparing as if to sub for them - because it could very well come down to "auditioning at a gig".

    Of course they could also be super flakes stringing you along. I would hope by now, you know if they typically rehearse or not. If they do typically rehearse, I think they'd be in my mirror.

    While I like rehearsing (most of the time), I could probably tolerate this environment for a regularly gigging band once I felt the band out a little - let me learn the show WITH you guys.

    And will add this: when I'm band shopping, I never let a situation like this prevent me from chasing other opportunities. I have passed on subsequent audition opportunities while waiting for the initial inquiry to occur only to never get to the first audition and see other opportunities vanish. Lesson learned: until I'm locked down, I'm still a free agent.
    Mr_Moo, Aceman, murphy and 6 others like this.
  9. QORC


    Aug 22, 2003
    Elberon, New Jersey
    oh I agree with that. I haven't passed any opportunities by, few as there are around here, in the meantime. this is just like speed dating or blind dating - a shot in the dark
    murphy and pcake like this.
  10. casualmadness

    casualmadness Man About Town

    Dec 15, 2005
    If not for the fact that we live in different places I would swear you’re talking about my band. Also, if I wasn’t sure you aren’t me, I would think you are me. I gave up on bands for many years because of nonsense like this. Got back into it Last year and have already quit two bands. Down to one now and I’m teetering m the edge because of the same type of stuff you’re talking about. My wife keeps telling me to just do a YouTube channel and let that be my outlet for playing bass.
    CB3UK, DirtDog, murphy and 3 others like this.
  11. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    My band mates and I love each other. We're like family. Sometimes we hang out on weekends with no instruments.

    Scheduling a jam is a challenge. We all have kids. We all have jobs. In short, we all have lives.

    Sometimes we'll go 4 or 5 weeks without getting together because of conflicts. Stir in families and scheduling becomes exponentially harder.

    If you have the whole list, start working on it now. It'll be a fun project and a learning experience anyway. If you get the job you'll be ahead of the game. Worst case you don't get the job but you learned some songs you never played before.

    A good band is hard to find. I wouldn't throw in the towel until you at least get together with them.

    Life is too short. Find your Zen place.
    Lex P., JMacBass65, murphy and 4 others like this.
  12. QORC


    Aug 22, 2003
    Elberon, New Jersey
    ah yes, well as I tell my wife who is encouraging me to find "a new hobby", there simply is nothing like the "hug" you get from an audience.
    Dudaronamous, Jeff Elkins and murphy like this.
  13. JRA

    JRA my words = opinion Supporting Member

    just another reason to exercise some patience --- maybe more patience than you usually do when you think you're dealing with "red flags." good luck with your opportunity! :thumbsup:
  14. bikeplate

    bikeplate Supporting Member

    Jun 7, 2001
    Upstate NY
    Proceed cautiously
  15. sacreddog717


    Jun 20, 2006
    Dublin, CA
  16. Killing Floor

    Killing Floor Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2020
    Austin, TX
    It's tricky. If they sound decent I suppose there are valid reasons they can't all meet their own previously agreed to commitment to try out / rehearse. Especially with the pandemic, the way they're all at work fewer hours and there's literally nothing new on TV, and Netflix, don't get me started, ain't been anything new on Netflix for 6 years. So I get it. They're busy.

    I'm not sure I'd walk away without a meeting if there is any interest in the gigs, you said they sound good.
    But I'd also start being a little less flexible. Maybe next time say they invite you push back an hour or so just to see if they're for real.

    My axiom is that there are bassists and there are the rest of the musicians. Bassists show up on time, have their own gear, don't get smashed between load-in and start, show up ready with the material. Ya know, bassist stuff. It's tricky to try to transfer all these traits to guitarists and drummers.
    murphy, 2playbass, aetheldrea and 2 others like this.
  17. QORC


    Aug 22, 2003
    Elberon, New Jersey
    I understand that some bands know the material so well that they don't need to rehearse often or ever. but if you are replacing a member, and you claim it's important to do it quickly, putting someone off for 3 weeks because you simply cannot find 90 minutes to get together to try out someone at the position that you seem very interested in...is...well...a bit odd.

    And if you are of course putting someone new into your lineup, you have to stop and do rehearsals in order to get the new person full integrated into things. So you should be prepared to block out nights or weekend days or whatever to accomplish that.

    so far, I'm getting mixed signals on these things. it's not like they are in the top 10 most recognized bands around here, and assume any bassist can just show up and do a show.

    anyway we shall see
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2020
    murphy, pcake, mrcbass and 1 other person like this.
  18. yodedude2

    yodedude2 Supporting Member

    Nov 19, 2005
    san antonio, texas
    learning songs is always a good idea. i should take this advice myself. :)
    EddiePlaysBass likes this.
  19. Esteban Garcia

    Esteban Garcia bassist, arranger, aelurophile Supporting Member

    Apr 11, 2018
    Portland, OR
    Two things:
    1. I'm unconditionally cutting everybody slack in the time of covid
    2. musicians can be friggin flakes, some more than others
    Sometimes joining a band means showing up and playing gigs without any rehearsals. Sometimes it means one rehearsal before each gig, sometimes one rehearsal then a string of gigs, sometimes it means months of work before playing out. I've done all of those, and as I've gotten older, come to appreciate fewer rehearsals. It's more of a challenge (obvs) to show up and play cold, but unless you're getting paid for rehearsals, it's a much higher hourly rate to just play gigs. On the other hand, my tolerance for flakiness has decreased significantly; your description does have some red flags to be wary of. Proceed with caution!
  20. lfmn16

    lfmn16 Supporting Member

    Sep 21, 2011
    charles town, wv
    Having to postpone the audition once is a red flag? YOU might live 5 minutes away, but do you know where the other musicians live?
    HolmeBass likes this.
  21. QORC


    Aug 22, 2003
    Elberon, New Jersey
    no, not being able to SCHEDULE it until 3 weeks have gone by after you indicate that you need a bassist right away for October shows ...a short try-out...literally only 6-7 songs...and cancelling the first one at the last minute is the red flag.
    Nashrakh, JMacBass65, StayLow and 8 others like this.

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