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So my neck is bolted on crooked...

They're all out about 1/2" and the neck won't move. Am I just not pulling hard enough?
You should only have to loosen them a half turn or so, just enough to relax the clamping force between neck and body.
Can you move it in the 'wrong' direction? If so, and you can't move it far enough in the right direction, the holes are drilled out of place and so you'll need to make new holes per the above post.
 
This is a VERY common problem with the Fender Pbass, and I suppose a Fender clone (the SX) could very well have the same problem . . .

I have often fixed a Pbass that had a misaligned neck . . . don't loosen the neck screws OR loosen the strings . . . while holding the bass by the upper (or lower) horn, give the neck a firm yank in the direction that it SHOULD be in . . . that should do the trick . . .

BTW, the "proper" alignment is with the "E" and "G" strings equidistant from the edges of the fingerboard . . .

Good Luck!

:cool:
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The thing is, the notes higher up the fretboard are slightly sharp, I think this may be the culprit.

Have you set intonation? The first thing I do with any bass I buy is do a set up because it it usually needs it badly.

Don't mean to sound snarky but if doing a setup is out of your realm of abilities than I suggest you not tackle the alignment issue... take it to a trustworthy shop.
 

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