Solitude ...

[slobake]

I never felt like I "belonged" to any group of people including my family until I went to 12 step recovery meetings. It was awkward at first but I soon learned that some people were genuinely glad that I was there.
Learned a few things quickly about social situations. First, get involved, put out chairs, wash dishes or help in any way that is good. Second, I am not the only one who feels awkward in social situations. Look around, we are usually easy to spot. If you see that person approach them and see if they want to talk. Most of us like to tell others about ourselves. Ask someone a few questions about themselves and if they want to tell you about their life that is good. Listen and enjoy. Of course sometimes it backfires and the person can be a bore and you might wonder what you got yourself into. Some people don't want to talk and that is okay to, I give them their space. I don't want to be a bore.

 

[Funky Ghost]

It's many things depending on the circumstance.

Self imposed, planned separation can be life affirming and cathartic.

Forced can be a fast track to mental instability.

Worst of all is the feeling of solitude whilst being among others. As a youth I often felt that way. Even as a class clown and a bit of a show off, the darker recesses of my thoughts were quite lonely. I guess most kids that don't fit in feel that way.

 

[Hot Rats]

True solitude... like being alone with myself for extended periods scares me. I have demons that I don't like to face. But for things like bike rides, camping one or 2 nights with the dogs, that is the stuff I enjoy. Sunsets and such. Sunrise in the giant redwoods...I voted fixing basses in my garage.

 

[Funky Ghost]

True solitude... like being alone with myself for extended periods scares me. I have demons that I don't like to face. But for things like bike rides, camping one or 2 nights with the dogs, that is the stuff I enjoy. Sunsets and such. Sunrise in the giant redwoods...I voted fixing basses in my garage.

I took a solo trip into Desolation Valley when I was in my 20's. Just a few mre's A fishing pole with tackle and a 1 man pup tent with my sleeping bag. Aside from a run in with a territorial wolverine and a crazy tenacious hornet near the top of Browns mountain I loved every moment of it. I even slid around in the snow in the middle of August. Good stuff. Very peaceful. After two days I was more than ready to return home however.

Reading My Side of the Mountain when I was in grade school and meeting the Author, Jean George inspired the idea.

I need to read that book again

 

[ElectroVibe]

I took a solo trip into Desolation Valley when I was in my 20's. Just a few mre's A fishing pole with tackle and a 1 man pup tent with my sleeping bag. Aside from a run in with a territorial wolverine and a crazy tenacious hornet near the top of Browns mountain I loved every moment of it. I even slid around in the snow in the middle of August. Good stuff. Very peaceful. After two days I was more than ready to return home however.

Reading My Side of the Mountain when I was in grade school and meeting the Author, Jean George inspired the idea.

I need to read that book again

Good book which I never had interest in reading until I was an adult. Are some kids really that intelligent? I certainly never was.

 

[Jim Kernan]

Sometimes I like being alone, sometimes not.

 

[slobake]

True solitude... like being alone with myself for extended periods scares me. I have demons that I don't like to face. But for things like bike rides, camping one or 2 nights with the dogs, that is the stuff I enjoy. Sunsets and such. Sunrise in the giant redwoods...I voted fixing basses in my garage.

Yup, I struggle with my own demons as well. It can be a battle but sometimes I manage to persevere. It is great when that happens, one of my main reasons for seeking solitude.

 

[Gaolee]

Being serious for a moment, there's a lot of joy in solitary pursuits. Being alone is just fine, and I like it a lot. Given a choice, I'll ride the motorcycle alone, work in the basement alone, and do all kinds of other things alone. It feel like an indulgence to be able to do things without accommodating anybody else. Being around band members is fun, and of course, being around my wife and our friends. There's no substitute for having time alone, though.

 

[Groove Doctor]

Musos spend so much time alone learning their instrument & repertoire.

I shared a bedroom until I was 12. I savoured my time alone after getting my own bedroom. I would spend 5 or more hours a day alone in my room practising music. Mum had to tell me to go outside, so I would practice music outside on the verandah.

That led to me doing paid pub gigs at the age of 15. I consider those 3 years as crucial to my development as a Muso.

 

[ElectroVibe]

Yup, I struggle with my own demons as well. It can be a battle but sometimes I manage to persevere. It is great when that happens, one of my main reasons for seeking solitude.

A few years ago I discovered I wasn't alone, when I realized no one has the inner strength to manage life alone. Especially me.

Unfortunately I cannot explain the reasons for this, as it violates the rules of this forum.

 

[LBS-bass]

Solitude can be very revealing. In contemplative spiritual traditions, it can be a way for a person to get closer to the things that are important. One might call that any of a number of things, but allowing oneself to sit in a non-judgmental way with their own thoughts in silence can bring some profound insights. And it is not easy or pleasant.

 

[gln1955]

I would have no problem going days, weeks, maybe months with no human contact. Just me and those other people in my head.

 

[Funky Ghost]

Good book which I never had interest in reading until I was an adult. Are some kids really that intelligent? I certainly never was.

It makes a great deal of sense when you read about Jeans life as a child. She had those skills. She is quite forthcoming when she says she could not have done those things in her book, however She is a fascinating lady.

 

[Gaolee]

I never felt like I "belonged" to any group of people including my family until I went to 12 step recovery meetings. It was awkward at first but I soon learned that some people were genuinely glad that I was there.
Learned a few things quickly about social situations. First, get involved, put out chairs, wash dishes or help in any way that is good. Second, I am not the only one who feels awkward in social situations. Look around, we are usually easy to spot. If you see that person approach them and see if they want to talk. Most of us like to tell others about ourselves. Ask someone a few questions about themselves and if they want to tell you about their life that is good. Listen and enjoy. Of course sometimes it backfires and the person can be a bore and you might wonder what you got yourself into. Some people don't want to talk and that is okay to, I give them their space. I don't want to be a bore.

I still don't feel like I really belong to any group, except peripherally. It is a zen thing, perhaps. And it is my happy place to be.

 

[LBS-bass]

I still don't feel like I really belong to any group, except peripherally. It is a zen thing, perhaps. And it is my happy place to be.

I hear you on that. Zen and I have history. I spent six months living in a Zen monastery, which is where I learned about profound solitude. Ultimately I chose to leave that environment, but it left me with impacts. Not quite scars, but definitely reinforcing the sense that I don't belong. I'm too weird to exist in the real world, and too cynical to be a good zen student.

 

[Gaolee]

I hear you on that. Zen and I have history. I spent six months living in a Zen monastery, which is where I learned about profound solitude. Ultimately I chose to leave that environment, but it left me with impacts. Not quite scars, but definitely reinforcing the sense that I don't belong. I'm too weird to exist in the real world, and too cynical to be a good zen student.

That is just flat @#&!! cool! And I can completely understand.

 

[LBS-bass]

That is just flat @#&!! cool! And I can completely understand.

It's not really cool in everyday life when I'm trying to make sense of a world that doesn't even pretend it wants to understand. But it's cool that you do understand

Zen wanted to break me. By the time I got to Zen, I was already broken.

 

[two fingers]

Do you like solitude? It can be a month alone at a remote retreat or a quiet corner in a crowded bar. Reading a book in my back yard, riding my bike along a gentle path in the early morning or quietly watching the sun set over the Pacific Ocean. It can be an extended time of thought and reflection on life or a few quiet moments before a gig. It is a calm retreat from a noisy world that is always competing for my attention.
My mind can refuse to settle in to repose, it churns and jumps from one fragmented thought to another. Before long I find myself focused on the dust on the floor, what my neighbor said yesterday or the danger of tuna noodle casserole. I have learned over the years that solitude is more a state of mind than a place of isolation.
Without quiet soul searching I end up wandering though life with no awareness and no direction. It can be a spiritual experience but it also can be very secular, either way it is a life giving practice.
Do you enjoy solitude and/or contemplation? Maybe a quiet moment at breakfast or a week camping next to your favorite lake?
No doubt, it can take on different forms for each of us.

I love it in short spurts. I NEED it in short spurts.

My favorite is a trip to our family farm. I pull my truck under the oak tree that was my grandfather's favorite spot. I have one of those hammocks that ties on each end. I tie one end about 8 feet up the tree. The other end gets tied to the roof rack on my truck.

I try to get there mid morning. I set up "camp" (tie the hammock up) and begin to wander. I usually do a 24 hour fast when I go. Just water, nature, my thoughts, and Jesus. The only.sound of civilization I can hear from there is distant log trucks when their air brakes kick in. I'll walk a while, sit on the ground, wade in the creek, sit on tue tailgate of my truck, etc.

I come out recharged.

I used to do it at least once a month. These days every 6 to 8 weeks is about as much as I can do. I can sleep in the hammock down into the 50s (F). But once it gets into the 40s I'll bundle up in a sleeping bag on a single inflatable mattress in the camper shell.

The phone is off except long enough to.call the family and tell them goodnight.

It's awesome.

That being said, I have kayaked down many a snake filled river. That's a close second.

 

[slobake]

I hear you on that. Zen and I have history. I spent six months living in a Zen monastery, which is where I learned about profound solitude. Ultimately I chose to leave that environment, but it left me with impacts. Not quite scars, but definitely reinforcing the sense that I don't belong. I'm too weird to exist in the real world, and too cynical to be a good zen student.

I had a similar experience, we may be drifting to far into religion. If you are interested, we can talk via PM

 

[LBS-bass]

I had a similar experience, we may be drifting to far into religion. If you are interested, we can talk via PM

We probably are. Sorry about that! I'd be happy to hear about your experience.