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Talk me through DI-ing at a gig...

Whatever you have for a monitor (you do have monitoring via either in-ears or a wedge, right?) is the source for listening to yourself, and is provided as a return from the mixer. Ideally you'll have your own mix to shape to your liking. DI to the mixer with no monitoring...VERY bad idea under most conditions. You would be relying on the PA, which is likely in front of you, to hear what you're playing.
 
i recently went to an in ear setup and started DIing because of it. i used to run and and cab, but the new band i'm in is all running in ears. we have a presonus system, where we each have our own mix, adjustible through ipads via wifi.
its the best thing ever. but if your take your monitors out. you have no way of hearing anything you are playing. i did it for one or two songs, just to see what its like. i would never get through a whole night that way.