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Thinking of hanging it up.

T

Twobass

Aug 12, 2009
292
76
#1
I've tried doing a search on this subject but I haven't found anything yet. The problem I have is I'm just not having any fun anymore, the cover band I'm in now thinks that 90's grunge is fun. Don't get me wrong I love listening that kind of music at home, but I hate playing it. I'm 40 and at this point in my life I want to enjoy playing, and I haven't enjoyed playing in years. It's getting to the point where I don't want to play anymore.

I just wanted to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, if so what did you do?
 
#2
I got to that point several years ago and actually sold a lot of my gear. HUGE mistake. It only took a few months for me to really regret doing this. If I had it to do over, I would have just stepped away from playing in a band for a while until I got the urge again. I've also found that it's better to not play in a band that to play in one that you're not that into. This tends to lead to burnout and burnout for a band can sometimes be confused to burnout for the instrument. Get out of the band, step away for a while, and get into a band when you're sure it's something that you're into and really love. It's O.K. to be selective about what projects or bands you choose and if that means you go longer without playing with people, IMO, your better off. I hate to someone quit on something they love!
 
#3
Don't give up playing just because the band you're in isn't making music you can get into...easiest solution would be to find other bands. Maybe not even quit the one you're in necessarily if you want to still play with the same guys; but definitely branch out more and play different styles of music.
Reawakening your love and curiosity for music will make a you appreciate any music you're playing.
 
#7
You might want to just take a short break. Even arena touring guys take a few months off here and there ;)

Don't give up or sell anything, just take some time away from bands and maybe you'll find out what you really want to be doing with your time and your music.
 
#8
Been there/done that!!! You just need a break. No time limit, but you'll know when your ready to get back into it. Really! It might be years, but once it's in your blood, there is no shaking it. Put your stuff away (for gods sake, don't sell any of it), and just enjoy being 40! I'm 57, been playing since 1966, and have taken several quite long breaks without regret, but when you finally open up that case and see your old friend again, all that old excitement will come flooding back. Every once in awhile, when I'm home alone and just noodleing around with the bass, I kinda drift back and start playing the old punk stuff. It's amazing how you can smile, and get misty eyed both at the same time lol. Good luck mate!
 
#9
I'm not quite in my 40's (I'm 34) but I've been burned out several times. Each time it was the band and not the instrument. Sounds like your band isn't the right match for what you want to do.

I would highly recommend stepping back and leaving the band you're in, or just take a hiatus. Give yourself some time to get the musical urge back, and take it from there.
 
#11
I think most of us who've been playing for a while have gone through it at one time or another. Sometimes you need a change, and sometimes you just need a break. So ask yourself things like:

1) Do I enjoy spending time with the people in my band? Making music--or at least being in a band--is usually a pretty social activity, and if you have to spend a lot of time hanging out with people that you don't really like all that much, it's not going to be much fun.

2) Do I enjoy playing the kind of music I'm playing? If not, are there other kinds of music that I might be interested in trying? Since you're not enjoying the 90's grunge, try something else, maybe even stuff that wouldn't necessarily be your first choice to listen to, but that interests/challenges you as a player or pushes you in a direction you've never gone before.

3) Am I working on developing as a player? Most music doesn't require you to be a technical/musical genius, but it's easy for things to get stale if you feel as if you're stagnating and not learning. Also, even with things that you know well--perhaps especially then!--it's easy to get sloppy and lazy rather than challenging yourself to do better all the time, and that makes them dull.

Mike
 
#13
When in a slump I find another project or outlet for my music talents... or in an extreme case, find another band. Of course... down here around nashville a capable bass player can have a new project in a day or two depending on how picky he is.

If you're doing it as a hobby and to enjoy, then you should put yourself into a position where you enjoy the playing. Explain it to your band, and if they aren't interested in changing things up so you'll enjoy it more, then do one of the above.
 
#15
I had the same type of issue, 5 years ago. The late nights, combined with terrible pay and zero following, wore me down. It's just like that in South Florida. Yeah, we'd play out a lot, but we wouldn't get home until 2-3am, and only earn a few bucks for our troubles. Fortunately, the band broke up before I lost it. I took two years off, let my subscription to Bass Player expire, and put my gear away. It was a therapeutic time with zero pressure. Now, I have a renewed interest in playing. I have yet to join a band. The hassles associated with it keep me from committing to anyone.

Here's a few pieces of advice:
1. Put your stuff away, but DO NOT sell it.
2. Do something else you enjoy.
3. Maybe see a concert here and there. Something may trigger your return to playing.
4. If walking away is too extreme, jam with friends occasionally, or look for fill-in gigs. I find that to be a great way to test your skills. Plus, the gig is finite!
5. Visit TB occsionally It keeps me interested, plus there are some great folks on here.

Good luck, and keep us posted.
BG76
 
#16
I'll echo what the others have said. Take a break, find some different players, a new style, etc...

It happened to me a couple of years ago. I just was not having any fun so I quit the band I was in. A few months later, my replacement had some medical issues and I stepped back in. What was supposed to be a fill-in gig for a month or two, turned out to be another year. I made certain they all knew that after New Year's Eve I was gone regardless.

Around Christmas time I got a call from another band that was surprised I was available, and I was surprised they called. So on New Year's Day we had our first rehearsal and first gig 2 weeks later. I'm coming up on the first full year with these guys, and it's still fun. My wife says it's the happiest she's seen me in years.:cool:

P.S. I'm 45
 
#17
YUP burnout... We have all seen it It happens. Best thing to do is to do SOMETHING different.Completely different. Take up a spectacular new hobby, get a new toy, get a new girlfriend, whatever. Just do something that you have not already been doing.

And DO NOT sell your gear. You WILL regret it if you do.
best wishes,
xgator4u
 
#20
I'm a bit older than you (quite a bit actually:bawl:) and I was very active and worked full time in a small touring band for a number of years. I had played in bands from the age of 15 through age 26. Then I got burned out. I didn't just take a break-I sold everything and totally walked away. For a period of almost 10 years. If I could do it all over again, I would NEVER have made that drastic a move. 10 years of missing out on keeping and improving my technique and style- I'm primarily a keyboard player and thanks to my wonderful wife in 1988 a year after we were married she surprised me with a new keyboard. I have never looked back or considered ever giving it up again. It is a gift given to you-if you are burnt out- most of the folks have given you great advice- step away for a season, but do not sell or give up your gear. Pack it away if you must, but it will still be there when you come back "down from the mountain" so to speak. Good luck.
 

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