Agree with the ideas already offered above. Try to avoid the assumption that "this" will work or "that" won't work until you've tried it in a mix with the band.
High mids and low mids are tough to predict among all the different combinations of instruments, amps, and cabs. Since job #1 in the mix is actually making yourself heard (regardless of any specific tone), you may need to use a sound that seems more obnoxious to your ears than when you're playing alone.
Oh, and I like the idea of trying to play with the band while solo'ing your neck pickup. For much too long I was playing a passive Jazz with too much inherent mid-scoop when playing it with both pickups full open. I adored that sound by itself, but it couldn't cut through a mix too well like that, even if I turned way up. Eventually I started solo'ing the neck pickup and also picked up a nice passive P/J - both of those routes were much stronger for me in a mix.
When you're playing louder with the band, consider holding off on any eq'ing where you turn up your lows. Your lower notes already have some relative fatness, but bumping those when you're turned up could be making them too big where the higher notes can't compete. The higher notes don't have similar inherent lows, so your eq can't boost what isn't there and the imbalance might only be getting magnified by bumping your lows.
See if you get enough of the low fundamentals across the board just by turning up your volume and only reigning in some the zingy brighter frequencies you don't want by cutting them using either the preamp controls on your bass or the eq on your Ampeg.