My girlfriend is having some real trouble with her roomates. She lives in a house with 3 other girls. They are all friends from highschool. One of the girls is kind of a brute, we'll call her Steph. The other 2 girls are very passive and always cater to the Steph in order to avoid conflict. She's very sick of putting up with the Steph but anytime she tries to stand up to her the other girls don't side with her. For example when they moved in my girlfriend and the Steph both wanted the same room. so they flipped for it. My girlfriend won the coin toss but Steph whined and cried and bitched and moaned about it and the other 2 girls said to my gf "just let her have the room" cause they didn't want any conflict. So she got the room. There has been lots of situations like this and she keeps on giving and steph never really gives back, for example. Steph works with mentally challanged people. She recently had a client stay over the weekend. The client woke my girlfriend up on 3 seperate occasions between 4am-6am over the weekend. My girlfriend didn't say anything. But this weekend my girlfriend has to get up early to go to the bank on saturday and she wants to exercies first. Steph is having a fit over it because it will wake her up and the other girls sided with her. "its been a long week you should let her sleep in" etc. has anyone ever been in this kind of situation and had any success? She's tired of being pushed around by Steph but doesn't want all 3 girls hating her. Her lease isn't up til July plus she's a nursing student and really busy during the school year so moving isn't really an option. any suggestions would be really appreciated thanks.
I'd try and get all three of them to have a talk with Steph, and tell her what their problems are, and that if she doesn't start being less whiney, they will stop putting up with her...
problem is the other girls are too passive. They are total doormats. and since they are kind of scared with steph they'll pretty much do whatever she says.
My fiance had a similar situation in college, and she fixed it easily... by moving out. Seriously, women get crazy when they start living three or four deep in the same apartment. I _never_ in my years of college saw a group of girls who were friends move into an ampartment together and not have it turn into a war zone. I'm sure other people have differing experiences, but I can only tell it how I've seen it!
she is going to have to go at this alone against steph i'd guess. there comes a point where your girlfriend should say "whine and cry all you want, but this is whats going to happen". if i won the coin toss for the room, i would not only have not given her the room, but i would constantly remind her about how great the room was, etc. you have to be considerate as far as sleeping hours, but anytime something bothers your girlfriend she needs to raisse the bullcrap flag and get the issue resolved; like being woke up 3 times in the middle of the night......
Cheezewiz is right, as usual - remember - it isn't real without pics! But, on the off chance they don't opt for that solution... The only person your gf can control is your gf. If she is upset about the sitch she needs to stand up and say so. If her roomies don't support her, then they don't sound like very good friends to me - but so be it - it is not necessarily their role to be allys or foes - just pay the bills and not use the last piece of TP without replacing the roll, right? If she still feels she is getting the short end, she can remove herself from the sitch altogether and move on. If she feels her issues are not being taken seriously and there is no sign of them being taken seriously, it sounds very much like she would be better off elsewhere anyway. On a side note - I worked with people with mental disabilities before and NEVER have I heard of a care-giver taking a participant home for the weekend. That seems awfully odd... Especially when they care-giver in question is living with roomies in an otherwise "who the hell knows what" sort of environment. For all the parents/guardians of the participant who stayed with Steph know, Steph could be living in a crack-house and plan to sell their ward to the highest bidder for a fix...
