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Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Benjamin Strange, May 15, 2004.

  1. Benjamin Strange

    Benjamin Strange Commercial User

    Dec 25, 2002
    New Orleans, LA
    Owner / Tech: Strange Guitarworks
    What a terrible, terrible, terrible movie. Ugh. 3 hours of complete utter garbage. I highly recommend staying home and practicing instead.

    Where do I begin? First, I should say that this was a movie inspired by, rather than based on, the Illiad. They took serious artistic liscence with this. Homer is rolling in his grave. Love interests were introduced, plot twists, etc... not that the plot "twists" made any sense, anyway. The script was nothing but a bunch of cliche nonsense strung together; there wasn't a single normal conversation through out the whole movie. No character development, just a parade of fools saying stupid things with no emotion whatsoever.

    This was a seriously big budget movie, too. $200 million dollars, and I can't begin to imagine where all that money went. It really didn't even look very good. The battle scenes were muddled and indistict, and the sets were rather plain. The costumes were good, but costumes don't cost $200 million. I sure hope they don't recoup that obscene amount of money. I felt like they wasted mine.

    When we finally got to the end, almost everybody in the theater (about 1000 people) booed. It was really that bad. A 3 hour movie is alot to take in all at once, but a really bad 3 hour movie is sheer torture. Do yourself a favor and avoid this one.

    Unless you want to see Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom half naked. There's plenty of that going on in this one. :rolleyes:
  2. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    Thank you for the review. I am fascinated with this period of human history, so I may see it anyway. At least now I know not to expect much.

  3. Benjamin Strange

    Benjamin Strange Commercial User

    Dec 25, 2002
    New Orleans, LA
    Owner / Tech: Strange Guitarworks
    By the way, the soundtrack is also way over the top and bloated. Not to mention that it just plain sucks.

    If you want history, get a book. You won't gain any historical insight from this movie. Trust me on this one.
  4. Baofu


    Mar 8, 2003
    Seeing something tomorrow night, I guess now Mean Girls it is. Though Man on Fire is tempting me. Or Kill Bill 2, for a second time.
  5. Against Will

    Against Will Supporting Member

    Dec 10, 2003
    Big Sound Central

    Given the review, it would probably be a better idea to rent. Or, I'm sure there's some old 60's version of the Illiad.

    This kind of reminds me of the Liz Taylor "Cleopatra" debacle back in the early 60's (date right?).

    I'm curious, why kind of "artistic licenses" did they take? When I saw Brad Pitt in the listings, I had a feeling they'd try to make it into a "Good v. Bad w/ a moral at the end" movie, which it isn't at all...everyone in the story's a sleaze bag, except for maybe Hector.
  6. I was half considering watching this, didn't look too bad, but damn I never knew it was 3 hours! I'll probably give it a miss, or wait to rent it out.
  7. hateater

    hateater snatch canadian cream

    May 4, 2001
    Eugene, OR
    I was with a group of friends who wanted to see Troy, and to my pleasure, all 5 showings were sold out. Yay!
  8. TxBass


    Jul 3, 2002
    Frisco, Texas
    great review. I thought the previews looked a bit ridiculous and I had voted it a rental....you've now put that into question as well and possibly saved me $3.75. Cool! :D
  9. Gia


    Feb 28, 2001
    i'm seeing it purely for orlando bloom.
  10. Hmm. It's not history...it's fiction :D
  11. Adam Barkley

    Adam Barkley Mayday!

    Aug 26, 2003
    Jackson, MS
    Is it worth seeing if I get in free?
  12. I'm going to see it soon today with my father. I will post a review later tonight.
  13. After "Das Boot" I had high hopes for Wolfgang Petersen, but he hasn't made a decent film since.

  14. Benjamin Strange

    Benjamin Strange Commercial User

    Dec 25, 2002
    New Orleans, LA
    Owner / Tech: Strange Guitarworks
  15. Figjam


    Aug 5, 2003
    Boston, MA
    They DID say a movie "LOOSELY BASED" on the Illiad. Im considering seeing it later today. it seems that the not-following of Illiad is the only beef people have with it?
  16. Benjamin Strange

    Benjamin Strange Commercial User

    Dec 25, 2002
    New Orleans, LA
    Owner / Tech: Strange Guitarworks
    Well, they introduced several love interests that I don't remember being in the book. (one of which the audience actually groaned when it happened) I don't remember Achilles being made out to be a sensitive killer with a concious in the Illiad either. There was tons of stuff that just didn't make any sense, so I am going to re-read the Illiad this week to remind myself of how it was supposed to be.

    You know it's bad when the audience starts reacting to the plot "twists" and "serious dialogue" with groans and laughter. Most of the time I feel alone in my hatred and disgust for bad movies; this time, the whole theater was with me. :)
  17. think about it this way, you could have watched new york minute TWICE in that stretch of time!

  18. +1
  19. Boplicity

    Boplicity Supporting Member

    Ever the voice of discension, I must say I rather enjoyed this picture. First, Eric Bana was a revelation as Hector. He really stood out against Achilles (Brad Pitt) as a Chippendale version of the great warrior. I don't think this movie would have been tolerable without Bana and I may even rewatch "The Hulk" now.

    Peter O'Toole as King Priam was his usual self as a skilled, consummate actor. Orlando Bloom as Paris, the pleasure loving son who selfishly "abducted" Helen thus single-handedly brought about the downfall of Troy did a good job of portraying that kind of self-centeredness and immature behavior.

    I enjoyed the costumes, though at times it was hard in battle scenes to know which side was which.

    Pitt looked fabulous as Achilles, but after the show I found myself mentally trying to recast his role with a better actor...Russell Crow? Maybe he is too old, though.

    Helen may have been beautiful, but the actress who portayed her had such a wooden personality, I doubt a "thousand ships" would ever have been launched on her behalf.

    The story is too complex to make a shorter movie, but the length was so long that when I got up at the end, my knees wouldn't unbend and I had some painful moments trying to walk. What this movie lacked was compelling dialogue. It did have some cool battle scenes, especially those with Hector. I hated to see him die.

    If you are not a history or mythology buff, this movie may not be for you. Save yourmoney for "Shrek 2", "The Day After Tomorrow," "Catwoman"and "Spiderman 2".
  20. kserg


    Feb 20, 2004
    London, UK
    bunch of people i know went to santa cruz (i am in san jose) why i never know... drive through mountins hour away to see a movie... so i didnt go... geuss i wont see it...:p

    Thanks for review... thank god i didnt go... driving to santa cruz because of your friends band gig is one thing... movie... NO

    I am waiting for Shrek 2... it should be sooooooooooo awsome!!!!!!!!