What do you when your band mates don't seem to trust you?

[Robus]

It's not a matter of trust. They don't think he's right for the band and have made that clear.

 

[Son of Wobble]

Man, that's like asking your GF to marry you on the scoreboard at halftime. Pretty embarrassing if the answer is no.

 

[DaDrew2112]

^^ Brutal ^^

 

[desertrider71]

This is what they want in terms of clothes. Aside from a few WWE shirts that I like to wear here and there, there's really not much of a difference from what I normally wear

These guys are punks? They look like wankers. If they can play and you enjoy hangin' with 'em...cool.
Still, they strike me as full-on pooftahs.

 

[Jean Rodriguez]

So today after rehearsal, I decided to talk to the band (Well, more like the bassist and singer because the lead guitarist and drummer don't like confrontation so they just left the room) about my concerns and frustrations. I voiced my frustrations regarding the music, clothing change, the bad job that the manager does and how I feel like I am trying to hard to fit in.

Both the bass player and singer apologized for making me feel like I had to please to fit in and that the idea is that I feel welcomed, not excluded. They said that the whole music thing is not a big deal because it's nice to have some diversity in terms of songwriting (The bass player that he was un favor of using more of my ideas in spite of what the lead guitarist and drummer might say). They also agreed that the manager is doing a horrible job and that they are looking for ways to get out of their contract with him (I suggested getting a lawyer, but they said that they can handle it by themselves).

After all of that, I said that I will keep playing with them as I enjoy the music and hanging out with them, but I won't sign any contracts with the current manager. If they want me to sign anything, they'll have to either fire him, or he'll have to start doing his actual bloody job as a manager.

 

[Jean Rodriguez]

Seems a bit odd to revive this thread, but I did start this and I suppose that it is only prudent that I keep you guys posted on what has happened. As of today, I have officially quit the band. The thing that influenced the decision was a phone that I had received from the bass player earlier during the day. The bass player calls me and explains that when he called me in September to play with them, the rest of the band thought that they were allowed to call someone that they knew and hold a sort of informal audition process. He tells me that the rest of the band started insisting the people that they had chosen out and then decide on who to have as the rhythm guitar player. I told him that they could sod off. 6 months of playing, listening to wardrobe demands, adjusting my music tastes and they still want/ feel the need to audition other people. I told them that it is bloody disrespectful and that I wanted to have nothing to do with the band. One of the best things to come out of all of this the fact that I can now take one of my guitars off of that dreaded Drop C tuning, dress however I want without having to worry about appealing to a damn music scene and not have to play that awful emo, hardcore, screamo music.

 

[One Drop]

Seems a bit odd to revive this thread, but I did start this and I suppose that it is only prudent that I keep you guys posted on what has happened. As of today, I have officially quit the band. The thing that influenced the decision was a phone that I had received from the bass player earlier during the day. The bass player calls me and explains that when he called me in September to play with them, the rest of the band thought that they were allowed to call someone that they knew and hold a sort of informal audition process. He tells me that the rest of the band started insisting the people that they had chosen out and then decide on who to have as the rhythm guitar player. I told him that they could sod off. 6 months of playing, listening to wardrobe demands, adjusting my music tastes and they still want/ feel the need to audition other people. I told them that it is bloody disrespectful and that I wanted to have nothing to do with the band. One of the best things to come out of all of this the fact that I can now take one of my guitars off of that dreaded Drop C tuning, dress however I want without having to worry about appealing to a damn music scene and not have to play that awful emo, hardcore, screamo music.

It seems that it's all for the better, it's obvious by this post it was completely the wrong band and musical situation for you.

 

[JohnMCA72]

find out how long they need to formally accept you. If it drags on much past that without the acceptance then have another talk with them. Threatening to walk away will probably just raise their concerns more so try to be patient and don't lose your cool over it.

And it's not punk rock of them to tell you what to wear....

... let alone shopping in a mall!!!

Not only when, but I suggest asking them, straight up, what is it going to take for them to accept you. Decide (at least for yourself) whether or not you're willing to do whatever it is that they want from you. If the "what" or the "when" happen & they still haven't accepted you, you'll have a choice to make.

Edit: I didn't see the update until after I posted. Seems you've made your choice (I'm sure I'd have done something similar).

 

[desertrider71]

@Jean Rodriguez Like I said, wankers, so good on ya'. One thing I would do with your new freedom is play the exact type of music that turns you on. If it's not punk, take a break from punk.
Whatever you really enjoy, your enthusiasm will show and your playing will improve.....making it very likely that a band in that genre will see or hear about you....and be keen to hire you.
Best o' luck.

 

[Fe911]

Your band reminds me of my brothers band from the late eighties. They were a band packaged to make some money on the surge of U2 after the Joshua tree album. The emo style has been around for a while, making money, and your ex band was trying to cash in on the genre. Like my brothers band, not too original. But back then, there were shows to be played. They played two or three nights a week. Got a record deal, made the record, lead singer quit. Replacement was better, but changed the direction of the band.
They never went much further, but they made a few bucks. Which you could do then. Now, I'd say, you better really enjoy your band mates , really dig the music, Love your crowds/scene.
When my brothers band was getting a lot of success, I was playing in more of the speedcore/ thrash style with a band. I use the band word loosely... I can say that I had a lot more fun at the time than he did. We just played parties, which were a rather hazardous thing at that time...

 

[desertrider71]

make some money on the surge of U2 after the Joshua tree album

Oh, you mean like Simple Minds and Men At Work.... and eventually The Killers and Coldplay?

I can mention at least SEVEN Coldplay songs with bass lines written by Adam Clayton. Guitar and vocals....please.....it's a blatant ripoff. I still like some Coldplay, because they did it better in 2005 than U2 was doing it at that time, but they borrowed the sound.

If you challenge me on this one, I can start a separate thread on it. I don't care to be bothered, thanks.

 

[Fe911]

Oh, you mean like Simple Minds and Men At Work.... and eventually The Killers and Coldplay?

I can mention at least SEVEN Coldplay songs with bass lines written by Adam Clayton. Guitar and vocals....please.....it's a blatant ripoff. I still like some Coldplay, because they did it better in 2005 than U2 was doing it at that time, but they borrowed the sound.

If you challenge me on this one, I can start a separate thread on it. I don't care to be bothered, thanks.

I hope I didn't give the impression that I thought there was something wrong with it. I have always been a big fan of simple minds , never really linked them to U2.