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When you have to fire someone who you suspect will not take it well ....

L

laCherry

Jun 25, 2011
29
0
#1
Just asked one of my singers to leave the band after she was feckin' diabolically out of key at a gig last night. She has always been bad, but has actually got worse rather than better and now this is embarrassing the rest of the band and holding us back from better things. It's been a long time coming as she has many other issues that we have tried to help her with but failed (due to her attitude in truth) and after speaking to the rest of the band we agreed that she was embarrassing and had to go. So I called her and cited the old "musical differences" thing and surprisingly she took it well, with dignity and wished us good luck for the future, I had expected rants, tears or vitriol (she is a fifty something scatty lady who has some personality issues that have caused problems before) and maybe her not getting the idea and a situation where I might have had to baldly state how bad she is .... which would have been true but I'm not a cold hearted bitch and I didn't want to have to go there. But "musical differences" were enough for her. This way she at least can hold her head up high (we have a small community and I wouldn't want to embarrass her although she does that quite nicely on her own !)
I dreaded doing it but all credit to her - she made a nasty job very easy and although she was clearly miffed we parted on good terms.

Tell us your tales of firings - the good, the bad and the downright ugly !
 
#2
Lots of stories and they all have different endings. The short of it is that firing someone from a band has a lot of problems involved. Some treat the band as a group of friends, others see it as a business. Some bands have a definate leader, others are run by some kind of common interests. If someone needs to be removed, its best to get the organization clearly defined.

Usually if there are a good number of gigs booked and the money is at least OK, these problems tend to be in the background.... or the answers are easier to deal with.

In the end its a fascinating social order.
 
#3
i jointly lead a band with the guitarist, our lead singer, a very cute female was always out fo key, about half a tone lower, the other guys thought she was hot and wanted to keep her, i thought about it then just rang her and told her,i said she needs to get some lessons etc well the shyte hit the fan big time and she told the other guys and they didnt like me and got all upsets..lol...etc etc, i said well good luck guys and left...lol it took about 6 months and the band folded, in the mean time i was then playing in a better band anyway. Yhe vocalist instrument is their voice, if they cant play it right then they need to be told
 
#4
That is always a tough one. It is best no to finger point or to be specific - just to say that it is not working out for you and the rest of the band, and that you feel that there will be a better fit for them elsewhere. I have had to fire a few people and it is never easy, regardless of the issues.

There is one important rule - When they are to be fired, it is over and done right then. My employees packed their stuff and were out as soon as we were done and I collected their keys. There is too much chance for a disgruntled person to cause problems if they are allowed to stay any longer.
 
#6
Was she hot? just wondering... sometimes that counts for something depending on the crowd and the amount of alchohol they've consumed.
laCherry said:
Just asked one of my singers to leave the band after she was feckin' diabolically out of key at a gig last night. She has always been bad, but has actually got worse rather than better and now this is embarrassing the rest of the band and holding us back from better things. It's been a long time coming as she has many other issues that we have tried to help her with but failed (due to her attitude in truth) and after speaking to the rest of the band we agreed that she was embarrassing and had to go. So I called her and cited the old "musical differences" thing and surprisingly she took it well, with dignity and wished us good luck for the future, I had expected rants, tears or vitriol (she is a fifty something scatty lady who has some personality issues that have caused problems before) and maybe her not getting the idea and a situation where I might have had to baldly state how bad she is .... which would have been true but I'm not a cold hearted bitch and I didn't want to have to go there. But "musical differences" were enough for her. This way she at least can hold her head up high (we have a small community and I wouldn't want to embarrass her although she does that quite nicely on her own !)
I dreaded doing it but all credit to her - she made a nasty job very easy and although she was clearly miffed we parted on good terms.

Tell us your tales of firings - the good, the bad and the downright ugly !
Click to expand...
 
#7
I volunteered to fire our last drummer. I actually liked the guy, and his drumming was excellent, but he rubbed 2 of the other 3 band members the wrong way pretty severely, the 3rd guy seemed to like him too, but I don't know how well. The drummer was just exceedingly blunt, could be sarcastic, and his sense of humor was really dry, which led him to be taken seriously sometimes when he was actually joking... and due to personal issues, he made it clear this was a job for him, and he wanted to make some money (and we weren't too much - hobby band basically). Everybody seemed to be hemming and hawwing about how he didn't fit... he wasn't "one of us"... he had to go, he had to go. But nobody would step up. I figured I'd be a hypocrite if I told others to step up to it, and I wasn't prepared to... so I just said I'd do it.

We had a gig on a Saturday night, and on Sunday I called him, and said "man, I don't know how to do this other than to be blunt... the band wants to find a different drummer". He said "being blunt is sometimes the best way to be". We said our goodbyes, and that was that.
 
#8
Well, that's my firing experience:

- we was trying our first drummer, he was our good friend (luckily he still is). After playing several songs with him we (my guitarist primarily, i was really beginner then) decided that he doesn't hold beat good and said no to him. Looking back, i think that it was too quick decision.

- then we had keyboardist for a couple of weeks. It didn't work well, we didn't know what to do and were just hoping that it will sort out somehow. And then one day he said that he can't play with us because he became really busy with his studying. So we parted ways on a good terms and returned to being power trio.

- in my next band i played guitar and was looking for right bass player. First one was nice but made too much mistakes, had some troubles with rhythm and then he started skipping rehearsals. We wanted to fire him, but i didn't want to do it via internet, and i couldn't meet him in person for a while, so i was just waiting for this to happen and thinking what to say to him (and everything i could think of seemed too harsh). Then our drummer called me and said that he told the bassist about our decision: it made him sad for a while, but he understood that.

- second bassist had awkward work schedule (= almost always he could rehearse only when we couldn't), was learning songs too slowly and was making "smiley" EQ :rollno:
And again, we somehow stopped rehearsing with him. Later i met him and apologised for this.

Looking at my post, i can see that i don't really know how to fire people from band :atoz:

But most of the times in my expirience we didn't have to fire anyone: usually band is just trying someone, it doesn't work out and both sides clearly understand that and just part on a good terms.
 
#9
As somebody said couple of posts before, sometimes blunt is the best way to be. However, being on the other side sucks anyway you put it. It happened to me about three weeks ago. I played with a band for almost 4 years and during that time I came to think of the band as "my band". I considered myself equal to all of them. If there were any trouble we sorted it out. I was one hour drive away from where we practiced and they were locals. So put this in real numbers; 2x practice per week, thats 4 hours of driving alone for me. So I asked only for a part(a small part, be sure) of my driving expenses and didn't want to take any part in our earnings. We never made much money anyway, for my part it was just enough to cover some of my expenses.

Anyway, long story even longer: without any heads up, I came to our practise, began to set my stuff up when they said that we need to talk. I thought, OK, what's up, maybe something about our planned recording sessions or something. And they said: "The band decided to change our bass player." And my first thought was, ****, when did we decide that? It actually took me some seconds to realise I was being fired. It hurt like a bitch. As I said, I thought we were equal and took them for friends.
They based their decision on a statement of mine. I said that I can commit to this band for at least another two years, I don't see anyone being capable to commiting themselves to a non-profitable enterprise for a longer timespan. They turned what I've said and quoted it as "I'll play for two more years, then I'm gone." I questioned my quality, but I'm confident that my chops were good enough for this band(punk rock). They told me who'll be my replacement and it turns out it's their friend, who they wanted in the past but he refused to play with them. Soon after that I came along.
So I was sitting there, trying to keep some pride and prevent any accidental tears to leave my eyes when they asked me to do one more show they had booked. And I said that I couldn't, and if its ok with them I would like to pack my things. Did that, wish them all good luck in featured endevours, hugged them and left. With each of those hugs, I ended a friendship. If they were friends they'd tell me if there was anything that bothered them about my playing, my personality, my gear... Instead, they were patting me on a shoulder and pushing me through the door at the same time. I never told them that I arranged a sabbatical to even further my quality as a bass player and songwriter.
It still hurts like a bitch, I wrote some texts for the next album and wrote down several basslines, good for me and for this tipe of music, I think. And our last single was my favourite song. Didn't know it'll be the last one, too. However, now I have the cash for anothe bass lesson per week and about ten hours of practice time to improve. Oh, and I'm going on holidays in Cambodia in october!

If anyone read this; thanks for bearing with me. Had to let it out, I was keeping it inside for far too long!
 
#11
I had to fire a drummer a few years ago. He was a great player and had toured the world for many years with a well known band. He has gold and platinum records hanging on his walls. We were working on recording a demo at his home studio which was over an hour ride for me and a 2 hour ride for the keyboard player. We had planned this several weeks in advance so he had plenty of time to prepare. When we arrived, his drums were not set up, they were not tuned and none of the mics were out. We accomplished nothing. This happened several times. When I called to tell him that we were letting him go, he freaked out and kept telling me that he is a platinum selling artist and we would never find anyone as good as him. The real problem was that he liked cocaine and alcohol just as much as he liked playing. Nobody else in the band did drugs and we rarely drank.
 

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