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Where should the finger really contact the fret?

I've just recently wondered about this, I guess I've come far enough in my basic practice stuff that I've begun to notice really where my fingers hit the frets, and also where various video'd players have their own fingers hit the frets. Is there a best way to work the frets? For example, is there a benefit to tuning the strings so that the fingers hit the metal fret dead on versus tuning so that the fingers can hit in between the fret spaces instead of right at the metal pieces?
 
If you hit the fret "dead on" some of the meat from your finger will dampen the vibration. The vibration happens between the fret & the bridge & if your finger is exactly on top of the fret, some of the meat from your finger will change the tone.

You want to aim, as groooooooooooooooove and ehque said, just behind the fret. This minimizes the chance that for one reason or another, the fret will "rattle" (too far behind the fret) or that your finger will get in the way (too far beyond the fret) and will give you the purest tone with the least effort.