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Why, Why, Why?

Apr 17, 2009
57,545
256,668
Why, Why, Why?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S " in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
 
Why does a dog like to put his head out of the window when driving in the car. But when you blow a little air on his ear and he get's pissed.

Some dogs only stick their heads out of the window out of necessity, so it really boils down to what the owner/driver had for breakfast or last night's dinner...even man's best friend will only tolerate so much in a closed environment!
 
Why, Why, Why?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

In case the remote was equipped with piezoelectric buttons that charge the battery.

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

They figure there will eventually be sufficient funds.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

The likelihood that someone will check a fact is inversely proportional to the effort required to check the fact.

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

The bottle is made of polyethylene, which is chemically inert and will not bond with most glues.

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Who sells non-sterilized needles?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

He cuts off his beard and braids it into rope. Have you ever seen a jungle with that many vines?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

He's worried that the gun could be made from kryptonite (in part), but knows that a kryptonite bullet will simply shatter.

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If they bonk their heads due to turbulence they won't be able to hit their targets.

Whose idea was it to put an "S " in the word "lisp"?

It apparently originates from Old English.

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

The apes that people evolved from are no longer around, and the apes that are around now are not the ones people evolved from. Different apes.

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

The bubbles are not white, they are colorless. The pigment int he bubble bath product is too far diluted in the bath to visibly tint the water. Also the bubble walls are so thin that there isn't sufficient path length to perceptibly alter the color of the light passing through.

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

There have to be, otherwise it is a violation of FTC regulations. If something is always on sale, then it is never actually on sale, and advertising it as on sale is false and misleading.

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Many household refrigerators are stocked by more than one person. Also, the contents may not have changed but the desires of the person might have.

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

No one likes a quitter.

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

They are made from the same material as USB plugs.

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Those light fixtures are not as enclosed as they appear.

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Social convention.

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Some things are meant to be.

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

To exert our dominance over nature.

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

Clearly you haven't met my mother-in-law.