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Will My Frets Take it.. SS Strings

I wouldn't worry about it too much. All roundwounds are going to wear the frets eventually anyway. My very first bass (which I still play 25 years later), has some noticeable grooving on the two highest frets from some combination of slapping and bending strings, but It doesn't affect how it plays, and I've switched that bass to flats now anyway, for tone reasons, not because of the frets.

Some of it is technique, too. I've noticed, after slapping for a long time, that I don't pop anywhere near as hard as I did when I was younger. You don't need to beat the bass up for a good slap sound
 
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Quick story,
I have a 2006 Warwick Corvette Standard that is my main working bass. It gets played around 6-8 hours a week or more depending... It was refretted about 18 months ago using NICKEL instead of the BRASS that is standard for most 'wicks. I switched to SS strings (Elixers and Daddarios) for about 6 months because of how bright they were (I could turn down the highs and they still sang well and punched). I had the same concerns you have and here is what I found.

The stainless strings did indeed speed up the fret wear to the point of nice little divots in the first 5 or 6 frets on the E and A strings (I ride them pretty hard I guess). I need to have them looked at by my luthier soon to see if he can crown them or recommend something else. I am a moderate to aggressive player in my technique and the refret Im sure had something to do with it. Im in a flatwound phase now and love it so NO MORE STEELS FOR ME.

summary: I tried steels, the noticeably ate up my frets...no more steels.