I'd focus on getting the neck angle right. Once you do that, the correct height is much easier to find, and it becomes much less critical. In other words, the neck angle matters much more than the strap height. If your wrist hurts, raise your neck.
Mine hovers between 45 to 60 degrees from horizontal, with the headstock level with my left ear. I have no idea how anyone could play with it lower than that. I wouldn't even try to play a bass that had neck dive. Either move the strap buttons, or get a new bass. Life's too short.
Also, everyone's body is different. People have different lengths in their upper arms, forearms, shoulders, torsos, hand bones, fingers, etc. You can't really say to "put the neck plate here" or "raise your arm to that it's X inches from your body," or whatever. All of those measurements and points of reference are going to be useless on someone else.
The only thing that matters is whether your movements while playing are as natural and comfortable as possible. The object is to play with the least amount of strain. Strain makes you slow. Strain makes you work harder to hit your notes cleanly. Strain causes long-term injury.
You know what looks cool on stage? Playing extremely well. Being so relaxed that you can play your best, and still have enough mental and emotional energy left over to connect with the audience.