OK, I am beaten. my confidence is torn and my feelings have been crushed. I was hoping to find comfort and validation in my opinions, since it is imprtant to do so....
So I leav you fine gentlemen with this:
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS:
1. THOU SHALT NOT SPEND THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS EACH YEAR ON AMPLIFIERS, PICKUPS, DI BOXES, ETC. TO TRY AND ACHIEVE A BASS SOUND MOST REAL BASSISTS ACHIEVE WITH THEIR HANDS.
2. THOU SHALT NOT MIMICK CATS WHEN YOU WALK BASS LINES: "MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW"...
3. THOU SHALT NOT WORSHIP ANY OTHER GOD, AS IN MARC JOHNSON, GARY PEACOCK, EDDIE GOMEZ, OR ANY OTHER DEMI GOD WHO PLAYS THE BASS LIKE A FAIRY GIRL.
4. THOU SHALT NOT MAKE A LIFE BY PLAYING HOLIDAY INN GIGS AND SAD WEDDINGS WHILE DRINKING ONE'S SELF INTO OBLIVION AND COMPLAIN ABOUT WHY YOU NEVER MADE IT OUT OF SKOKIE, ILL.
5. THOU SHALT NOT PURCHASE A CELLO IN HOPES OF BEING A "MELODIC" INSTRUMENT. IF IT DON'T WORK FOR RON CARTER, IT AIN'T GONNA WORK FOR YOU.
6. THOU SHALT NOT PLAY BASSES WITH MORE THAN 4 STRINGS. FRETLESS BASSES, ELECTRIC UPRIGHTS, 5 & 6 STRINGS BASSES ARE AN ABOMINATION. HEREBY THEY ARE TO BE KNOWN AS "POORLY TUNED GUITARS".
7. THOU SHALT NOT SLIDE AROUND AIMLESSLY LIKE A FAT WOMAN, COVERED IN CRISCO ON ICE WHILE SEARCHING FOR THE "LOST CHORD".
8. THOU SHALT NOT USE THE TERM "VISCERAL" WHEN DESCRIBING BASS PLAYERS, UNLESS REFERRING TO MICHAEL ANTHONY.
9. THOU SHALT NOT WORRY WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT MUSIC, WHICH IS WHY CONTRIBUTING TO THESE STUPID FORUMS IS TIME WASTED AND BETTER SPENT IN THE PRACTICE ROOM.
10. THOU SHALT NOT GIVE A RAT'S ASS WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK. YOU ARE GROWN UPS, NOTICE HOW MANY PEOPLE DIDN'T RESPOND AND HONOR ME BY WORSHIPPING THEM. ANYONE WHO DID NOT LAUGH AT THIS IS TAKING THEMSELVES WAY TOO SERIOUSLY.
and I'm OUT this mutha fukka!!!
PEACE!
P.S. - I actually really like drew gress.
But in all seriousness, Gary Peacock can suck a nut.
So I leav you fine gentlemen with this:
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS:
1. THOU SHALT NOT SPEND THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS EACH YEAR ON AMPLIFIERS, PICKUPS, DI BOXES, ETC. TO TRY AND ACHIEVE A BASS SOUND MOST REAL BASSISTS ACHIEVE WITH THEIR HANDS.
2. THOU SHALT NOT MIMICK CATS WHEN YOU WALK BASS LINES: "MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW"...
3. THOU SHALT NOT WORSHIP ANY OTHER GOD, AS IN MARC JOHNSON, GARY PEACOCK, EDDIE GOMEZ, OR ANY OTHER DEMI GOD WHO PLAYS THE BASS LIKE A FAIRY GIRL.
4. THOU SHALT NOT MAKE A LIFE BY PLAYING HOLIDAY INN GIGS AND SAD WEDDINGS WHILE DRINKING ONE'S SELF INTO OBLIVION AND COMPLAIN ABOUT WHY YOU NEVER MADE IT OUT OF SKOKIE, ILL.
5. THOU SHALT NOT PURCHASE A CELLO IN HOPES OF BEING A "MELODIC" INSTRUMENT. IF IT DON'T WORK FOR RON CARTER, IT AIN'T GONNA WORK FOR YOU.
6. THOU SHALT NOT PLAY BASSES WITH MORE THAN 4 STRINGS. FRETLESS BASSES, ELECTRIC UPRIGHTS, 5 & 6 STRINGS BASSES ARE AN ABOMINATION. HEREBY THEY ARE TO BE KNOWN AS "POORLY TUNED GUITARS".
7. THOU SHALT NOT SLIDE AROUND AIMLESSLY LIKE A FAT WOMAN, COVERED IN CRISCO ON ICE WHILE SEARCHING FOR THE "LOST CHORD".
8. THOU SHALT NOT USE THE TERM "VISCERAL" WHEN DESCRIBING BASS PLAYERS, UNLESS REFERRING TO MICHAEL ANTHONY.
9. THOU SHALT NOT WORRY WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT MUSIC, WHICH IS WHY CONTRIBUTING TO THESE STUPID FORUMS IS TIME WASTED AND BETTER SPENT IN THE PRACTICE ROOM.
10. THOU SHALT NOT GIVE A RAT'S ASS WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK. YOU ARE GROWN UPS, NOTICE HOW MANY PEOPLE DIDN'T RESPOND AND HONOR ME BY WORSHIPPING THEM. ANYONE WHO DID NOT LAUGH AT THIS IS TAKING THEMSELVES WAY TOO SERIOUSLY.
and I'm OUT this mutha fukka!!!
PEACE!
P.S. - I actually really like drew gress.
But in all seriousness, Gary Peacock can suck a nut.
