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Best washtub bass for metal

I'm confused as which way one should go at this. I mean there are so many options.

What type of tub will be the best to cut through a loud metal band?

Will hello kitty stickers help with the sound at all?

If I where a mask will my "metalness" be even more extreme?

Should I use weedwacker line or boat steering cable?

Should the neck/stick be fixed or not?

If one is lost in the backwoods should one wear a chastity belt?
 
Ya Know what??? I don't appreciate your sarcasm!!! We all know that its pretty freakin simple!!! Washtubs are for Jug bands, NOT METAL!! Just ask Emmett Otter,, one of those crazy critters had some sort of washtub instrument. And you only need to look at the same movie if you need a model for a metal band. The Riverbottom Nightmare band had it all!!

But seriously I will give you a diagram.

Ibanez bass (preferably tuned flat and lower then any other metal band in history!!!) > Sansamp preamp>Ampeg SVT>Ampeg 8x10

Do that and the rest should fall into place :)