A soppy relationship thread...you may laugh!

[mambo4]

It takes 2 people to repair a relationship, and both of them have to be on board. It sounds like she is not. Sadly, it is time to let that go.

I'm not happy unless I'm in a pair, I don't know why.

+1 to finding out. back to therapy for you! seriously. In my experience , people who express this idea would rather stress about some one else than do some serious work on themselves.

keep self-searching, seek help if needed, and find the real source of the unhappiness that being in a pair seems to 'cure'. chances are there are ways to address it that are much more empowering and healthy than simply depending on the affections of another.

 

[TheDarkReaver]

Well, I have OCD (not joking) and I must concur.
With my OCD I often bug the heck out of everyone close to me.
With my lack of taking everything serious I bug them more.

Take my sister for example (*insert stand-up comedy joke here*), she is very nonchalant. And she always makes mountains out of molehills, and always wants to be the center of attention.
(I'm talking about experiences from growing up.)

You did say it was in your experience.
But it's a very unfair generalization.

Are you disagreeing with me or agreeing? Concur suggests you are agreeing

I wasn't generalising per se, I was rather relating my experiences with the context of the thread. By which I mean the guy's blowing things out of proportion and generally over worrying. I'll never love anyone like this again and I can't move on sort of thing.

It's the stuff of bad teenage poetry, hence the emo comment. I'm probably not expressing myself in a verym coherent manner and probably coming off as an arse

 

[René_Julien]

Are you disagreeing with me or agreeing? Concur suggests you are agreeing

D'oh.
Used the wrong word. Excuse me I often mess up in english.
I off course meant disagree. What is a cool synonym for disagree?

I wasn't generalising per se, I was rather relating my experiences with the context of the thread.

I know you weren't generalizing.

I justed wanted to share my experience with my OCD.

 

[Will On Bass]

Figure it out.......

As long as you NEED to be in a relationship you will never be in a good one. No one else can complete you, you need to be complete within yourself before you can share yourself.

+1. Bro you took the words right out of my mouth.

 

[TheDarkReaver]

D'oh.
Used the wrong word. Excuse me I often mess up in english.
I off course meant disagree. What is a cool synonym for disagree?

Erm...I don't think there really is one.

 

[Will On Bass]

D'oh.
Used the wrong word. Excuse me I often mess up in english.
I off course meant disagree. What is a cool synonym for disagree?

You could say "I'm not feelin' you on that." LOL

 

[EricF]

As someone who is married to a person with depression (although not suicidal) and OCD issues, I can tell you it can be a tough existence at times. There are behaviors and feelings that my wife has that are beyond her ability to control. It has taken me quite a while to understand how and why these things happen with her and how to deal with it from my end of the relationship. Especially since you were the one who ended things, your ex-GF may have decided that these issues are too much for her to deal with at this time. Although, she may continue to be a very supportive friend. You can't look at this as a flaw in your character necessarily, but just accept that this is how you're wired, and do your best to deal with it for the future. IMO, finding a way to be happy with yourself and your own existance needs to be your first step - this IS something you can do. I HIGHLY suggest continuing to work with a professional therapist. Once you find that place for yourself, you'll be able to be a better partner in a relationship. Life is wonderful. Get yourself in a place you can enjoy it.

 

[TheDarkReaver]

Yeah, EricF is giving out the sane logical advice that is actually useful, unlike probably me.

 

[René_Julien]

Yeah, EricF is giving out the sane logical advice that is actually useful, unlike proably me.

Yeah you're useless.

Go post in the "useless" thread.

 

[MakiSupaStar]

I'm with Jady. Fix your own head first. Get comfortable being independent. Move on. Looks like a lesson learned with this girl. Meanwhile, go out and have fun hooking up with chicks casually. Eventually you'll find a few that you keep going to and they might actually turn into girlfriends for you. Yes I meant that in a plural sense.

 

[i_got_a_mohawk]

I'm with Jady. Fix your own head first. Get comfortable being independent. Move on. Looks like a lesson learned with this girl. Meanwhile, go out and have fun hooking up with chicks casually. Eventually you'll find a few that you keep going to and they might actually turn into girlfriends for you. Yes I meant that in a plural sense.

Just remember

(i kid, i kid)

 

[eleonn]

There is a saying in spanish that says: un clave saca a otro clavo. Translation is something like one nail takes out another nail. Basicly go out and jump over any girl that will let you do it

 

[LCMBassist]

I'm with Jady. Fix your own head first. Get comfortable being independent. Move on. Looks like a lesson learned with this girl. Meanwhile, go out and have fun hooking up with chicks casually. Eventually you'll find a few that you keep going to and they might actually turn into girlfriends for you. Yes I meant that in a plural sense.

I feel wrong and dirty if I casually do stuff with girls. I have nothing against it, but it isn't me. I need to know that when I'm doing this stuff, they are feeling the same emotions as me. I'm not the kinda guy who goes and pulls girls in bars....been there, done that, never worked out, didn't like it.

As for being happy with myself....I don't know how to be? I am happy when I make others happy. I am not happy when I am selfish.

 

[LCMBassist]

The plot thickens. Whilst chattin to her last night I mentioned my cousin, who has just been given a number of punishments for drugs offences. Becci (the girl who I was with) said 'ohhhh, I'd be ****ed if my flat got searched'. I asked why, but she wouldn't say. Does that mean drugs? As far as I know she's never taken drugs, I never saw her use them in my time with her, and she certainly didn't look like a drug addict, or the kind of person who would get caught up in that kinda thing.....

 

[Selta]

The plot thickens. Whilst chattin to her last night I mentioned my cousin, who has just been given a number of punishments for drugs offences. Becci (the girl who I was with) said 'ohhhh, I'd be ****ed if my flat got searched'. I asked why, but she wouldn't say. Does that mean drugs? As far as I know she's never taken drugs, I never saw her use them in my time with her, and she certainly didn't look like a drug addict, or the kind of person who would get caught up in that kinda thing.....

So we just established that you're both young and naive.
Just because she didn't look like a person using drugs doesn't mean she wasn't. Also, even if you've never seen them doesn't mean that she didn't have them.
I know if I had 'em, they'd be the best hidden thing in my entire house.
Does it really matter to you if she does enjoy the occasional toking? If it does, so what, move on, more of a reason to not talk to her. If it doesn't bother you, then still, so what.

 

[LCMBassist]

So we just established that you're both young and naive.
Just because she didn't look like a person using drugs doesn't mean she wasn't. Also, even if you've never seen them doesn't mean that she didn't have them.
I know if I had 'em, they'd be the best hidden thing in my entire house.
Does it really matter to you if she does enjoy the occasional toking? If it does, so what, move on, more of a reason to not talk to her. If it doesn't bother you, then still, so what.

It doesn't bother me. But I'm just worried it's more serious. She always said 'I was once offered anti depressants by the doctor but I don't want to take drugs to make me happy'. So why would she do drugs? If she's doing something illegal, is it not also my duty to inform the police?

 

[Otso]

It doesn't bother me. But I'm just worried it's more serious. She always said 'I was once offered anti depressants by the doctor but I don't want to take drugs to make me happy'. So why would she do drugs? If she's doing something illegal, is it not also my duty to inform the police?

Yes, it would be your duty were you a citizen of the Soviet Union.
It's not really something serious enough to call the cops for.

 

[Selta]

It doesn't bother me. But I'm just worried it's more serious. She always said 'I was once offered anti depressants by the doctor but I don't want to take drugs to make me happy'. So why would she do drugs? If she's doing something illegal, is it not also my duty to inform the police?

I'm leaving this thread before I get myself into trouble.

Good luck!

 

[LCMBassist]

I guess. I just don't want her to be doing something that will lead her down the same route as my cousin.....

 

[eleonn]

Then talk to her but don't even think about cops or parents or things like that unless you want her to get into seriuos problems and don't even want to see you again in her entire life.