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After Ten Years, Fired by Email

#101
runmikeyrun said:
Personally, I wouldn't have written back at all, just stopped showing up.

While it does suck, some people don't like confrontation face to face like that. I know I sure don't. I fired a guitarist by simply changing our band members on our myspace page, because I knew he was gonna freak, yell, curse, go on a long tirade, and possibly hit me. I also knew that I would get really angry and probably do/say things I would regret. I didn't want to deal with all that so I just made it clear he wasn't in the band anymore. Not that i'm a wimp, I just didn't want to deal with it.
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You could have called? And hung up if the guy got rude.

Also, firing someone in a passive-aggressive manner, IMO, especially to avoid confrontation, that wouldn't keep someone from going to your house or some other locations to confront you. Seems to create a false sense of security.

If you have a band member who has anger issues, dealing with them or replacing them sooner is a better move. Since you seem to have anger issues, I suggest you deal with them sooner rather than later.

Good luck.
 
#102
Lazylion said:
I'm out of my long-time country covers band.

Yep, 10 years, hundreds of gigs, I even offered BL a room at my house when he & his 2nd wife split up a few years ago. Wednesday I found a dismissal email in my inbox, which he'd sent Tuesday night. Thank goodness I've just gotten a day job after 3 1/2 years of scraping by.

We'd just played Fri & Sat, he could have done it face to face, but he chose the chickenspit way out. Really, dude? 10 years, and you send me an email? And you want to "remain friends"? :scowl:

I'll admit I wasn't pleased with his musical taste. He favors oldies way too much. In fact, we'd made a deal last summer that I would sing my two most recent new songs first, then do all the old stuff he wanted for the rest of the night. I was going to be content with that. He proceeded to ignore the deal almost immediately, but I didn't make an issue of it because I like the other folks in the band and I needed the money.

I did book the occasional gig with another band, just so I could do something creative once in a while. But he wants 100% loyalty on the dates, and also 100% creative control, such as it is in a covers band. I guess the 2-song deal was too much loss of control for him. Sorry, but if I don't get any input, I tend to lose interest.

I considered many angry responses, composed many scathing emails and lectures full of righteous indignation and totally justified vitriol, listing his failings as a bandleader, a friend and a man, thought about packaging up all my band t-shirts and sending them back to him as a statement, but then I thought "what good would any of that do? Is he going to see the light? Become a different guy? Start keeping his word? No."

So in the end I took my cue from Mr. Spock, and sent a one-word response:

"Acknowledged."
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You took the high road - good on you.
 
#105
Lazylion said:
I'm curious to know if folks are asking what happened to me, and what they are being told.

Not that it matters any more.
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I can tell you what happened to the wizards that fired me (also by e-mail, albeit the e-mail equivalent of a drunk phone call). None of the replacement bass players they brought in after me could do the backup vocals I did, nor could anyone else in the band. The clubs picked up on the drop-off in quality and simply stopped booking them.
 
#106
I quit/got fired from my most recent rock project...its a long story...in a nutshell dont play with your girlfriend's best friend's husband...especially if he likes to cheat...it'll put you in a pretty "crappy" position when the poop hits the fan.

The rest of the band had a choice to continue the project with me or the guy in question (told them i wouldnt be upset either way but left it up to them) the other guys kept telling me they wanted to stay with me and started making plans for a new frontman, then all of a sudden im blocked from the band's FB profile and I see a post from one of the guys saying "we need a bass player"

That was in December... still no bass player and the other guys have asked me twice to come back. yeah no.

Be direct... its the non-douche thing to do and most of the time irresponsibility comes back to bite you in the ass.
 
#108
An update with some attention-grabbing news: at the band's latest gig, the BL's van and equipment trailer were stolen. Luckily most of the equipment was inside the club.

Wow. This is way more "karma" than I would have wished on the guy.
 
#109
I was fired via email about 9 years ago. I didn't play with the band for that long but it still left a bad taste in my mouth. I was about 16 when this happened so I don't really remember my response verbatim but it was essentially "Alright, best of luck". Come to find out the guitarist wanted someone to "Shut up and play bass" as opposed to a full band member. They eventually got another bassist who couldn't play worth a sh*t but kept his yap shut. The dude who I was friends with before joining the band added me on FB a while ago and I accepted his request. He sent me a "hey, how's life?" message and we had an alright conversation.

It sucks to be terminated that way (especially after 10 years) but everything happens for a reason IMO. Maybe you'll hit it rich with your next gig :P
 

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