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Am I A Bad Person If...
- Thread starter EdHunter
- Start date
- Aug 21, 2003
- 11,593
- 18,613
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- A-Designs Mike Lull GK Tsunami Cables GHS Strings RMI Basswitch Nordstrand Pickups Darkglass
I've never got to experience it first hand (never put myself into a situation with a hot female band-mate) but have only heard BAD stories about inner-relations with band-mates.
Will/can woman destroy bands? ... YES AND THEY ENJOY IT!
Another rule of thumb is NEVER, EVER, EVER, let your gf's befriend each other in the band.
Will/can woman destroy bands? ... YES AND THEY ENJOY IT!
Another rule of thumb is NEVER, EVER, EVER, let your gf's befriend each other in the band.
Passinwind
I know nothing.
- Dec 3, 2003
- 23,064
- 45,979
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- Designer/Toaster Tech @ Passinwind Electronics
I'll play stand-in.
Go to the maestro when the girl is in clear view but out of earshot. Nod in her direction and ask: "when are you gonna let me tap that?"
You can thank me later, after your black eye heals.
I wonder if the girl even knows the OP loves her?
If not , you snoozed , you lost.
If so I would move on , this won't end well. By that I don't mean dump your friend , just let go of the girl. One day she will be gone and he will still be your friend.
Like the bumper stickers says " My best friend ran off with my wife... man , I sure do miss him"
If not , you snoozed , you lost.
If so I would move on , this won't end well. By that I don't mean dump your friend , just let go of the girl. One day she will be gone and he will still be your friend.
Like the bumper stickers says " My best friend ran off with my wife... man , I sure do miss him"
I don't know where to start, my guess would be, just play through the pain. That's what I do, hell I don't get any. But I try not to whine about it. Of course your situation sucks, and more of us have been there than you think. First, Could you beat this "friend" in a fist fight? If yes, you might as well go out with a BANG. And the girl he is with most likley isn't what you think she is, and would turn your stomach to get to know her. So she will see him writhing on the floor and practically jump on you.
Love is war why not bring some real violence to bear? Sometimes I like knowing that those guys with cute girls wouldn't last a day in my shoes.
Also, say what you feel, start today and it will get alot easier come tommorow.
Love is war why not bring some real violence to bear? Sometimes I like knowing that those guys with cute girls wouldn't last a day in my shoes.
Also, say what you feel, start today and it will get alot easier come tommorow.
So, as that guy turned to a girl you like, you expect that he would turn to music you like? This may work and there's nothing wrong with it - just go ahead and tell him that you like Saxon, but hesitate playing more of it. Don't mention the girl, of course.
I will tell you of the situation I was just in. A friend of mine who has some issues with addiction, but who is a really good guitarist was asked to try out for my band, we tried it out because he has talent. Unfortunately, things didn't work out that well because he looked at the band as a competition not as 5 people working together to create something better than any of us could do alone. He didn't practice very hard to learn the parts we asked him to, but always was like hey guys I want to show you this rift I made up. He also expected us to pick him up and drive him home to and from practice. Otherwise, he would be late and leave early, and even though we told him before we offered him the position as rhythm guitarist, that each practice would cost each band mate $10 he never coughed up.
We kicked him out of the band. I tried to still be his friend, but he would get stoned and drunk and show up asking to come back, he acted really stupid and I lost a lot of respect for him. I always liked his girlfriend, but never let it show out of respect to him. I tried to explain to him that different aspects of life should be kept separate. The band and his friendship were two different things. I don't think he ever got it, because of how selfish and immature he is (his coke addiction has emotionally stunted him to the point that he still acts like he is 16, he didn't start doing coke until he was 18 but the whole time he hasn't ever grown up). Anyway, to make a long story shorter he cheated on his girlfriend, I consoled her (she is my girlfriend now) and I made him so mad that if he thought he stood a chance against me in a fist fight, I am sure he would have tried. I lost a former band mate, a friend and ultimately I am okay with it because the band is happy, she is happy, and I am happy. I hope one day he can come to terms with it, but I am not holding my breath.
What I am trying to say to you is: Stay in the band, accept that he is going to be the one all the girls lust after, be mature and honest with him about where you would like the band to go musically in the future, never again mention the girl but when you start touring and she finds out he has cheated on her, console her ... be there for her, tell her how bad he is, how good you are, that you would never do that to her and she will be yours. If he isn't the kind that would cheat on her, then you get to bang all the chicks on the road that want him but can't have him because he has a girlfriend. You don't get the girl of your dreams but you get a lot that will help ease the pain of losing her. Either way, it can be a win-win situation for you, if you are mature and start to look at the bigger picture. Cheers.
We kicked him out of the band. I tried to still be his friend, but he would get stoned and drunk and show up asking to come back, he acted really stupid and I lost a lot of respect for him. I always liked his girlfriend, but never let it show out of respect to him. I tried to explain to him that different aspects of life should be kept separate. The band and his friendship were two different things. I don't think he ever got it, because of how selfish and immature he is (his coke addiction has emotionally stunted him to the point that he still acts like he is 16, he didn't start doing coke until he was 18 but the whole time he hasn't ever grown up). Anyway, to make a long story shorter he cheated on his girlfriend, I consoled her (she is my girlfriend now) and I made him so mad that if he thought he stood a chance against me in a fist fight, I am sure he would have tried. I lost a former band mate, a friend and ultimately I am okay with it because the band is happy, she is happy, and I am happy. I hope one day he can come to terms with it, but I am not holding my breath.
What I am trying to say to you is: Stay in the band, accept that he is going to be the one all the girls lust after, be mature and honest with him about where you would like the band to go musically in the future, never again mention the girl but when you start touring and she finds out he has cheated on her, console her ... be there for her, tell her how bad he is, how good you are, that you would never do that to her and she will be yours. If he isn't the kind that would cheat on her, then you get to bang all the chicks on the road that want him but can't have him because he has a girlfriend. You don't get the girl of your dreams but you get a lot that will help ease the pain of losing her. Either way, it can be a win-win situation for you, if you are mature and start to look at the bigger picture. Cheers.
This is sound advice. YOu should beat the crap out of friend because he took the girl you liked for a while but were either unable or too chicken**** to go get. Makes perfect sense to me.
1. Man up and tell him exactly how you feel, proper communication (ESPECIALLY in a band) solves 99% of problems
2. Completely unrelated to the girl drama, start playing music that all of you like to play, so that everyone's happy with minimum compromise. You shouldn't have to be in a band where you have no say in the music you guys play.
Hiding your feelings and not talking about them might seem like a good idea now but it'll only create way bigger problems in the long run. And like others have said, if you can't get over the chick then you should probably ditch the band for now, because nothing good can come out of it. Good luck!
2. Completely unrelated to the girl drama, start playing music that all of you like to play, so that everyone's happy with minimum compromise. You shouldn't have to be in a band where you have no say in the music you guys play.
Hiding your feelings and not talking about them might seem like a good idea now but it'll only create way bigger problems in the long run. And like others have said, if you can't get over the chick then you should probably ditch the band for now, because nothing good can come out of it. Good luck!
- Aug 5, 2005
- 7,243
- 92
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- Endorsing Artist: J.C. Basses
This.
TS, I'm not sure how old you are, but knowing that women make up roughly 50% of the US population and looking at the 2008 census bureau, there are roughly 11 million teenage girls in America. If you subscribe to the belief that there is only one significant other for every person, the odds of you living within a 10 mile radius and meeting her within the first 20 years of your life are less than 1/10^8, and that's only slightly better than the odds winning the Powerball Jackpot.
"Plenty of other fish in the sea," as they say.
