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Am I a horrible bass player?

!st thing you always ask when you're getting together for the 1st time is how they tune. Lots of bands use alternate tunings and expect you to just somehow know it. And when they tell you how they tune you should tune that way. Don't say "oh I'll just stay in standard and adjust my fingerings on the fly" I think it's arrogant and counter productive. I once had a great guitar player audition for us and when I told him that we tune down to D he said that he thought it would be fun to stay in E and use alternate chord voicings. I was so disappointed because he was an amazing guitarist but it sucked. I know it would've been awesome if he had just tuned with us. The whole time he had to concentrate on the mechanics of playing easy songs he normally wouldn't even have to think about. After every song he would beam with pride at how he had pulled it off. Loved the guy but he didn't get the gig.
 
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No such thing as a bad audition. You always learn something. But this is where you were, an audition, despite what the kids call them now.
I started my musician days as a keyboardist, and trust me this is a general musician thing. Things work or they don't. I say this to say you were playing a different instrument before playing bass. If you're playing keys or guitar or something, practice is really important so you have the hooks down, the grooves, the changes, etc. But when you play bass, learning the songs gets just that much more important! I'm sure someone else has said this to you already, but other band members don't always understand this. Except drummers, they get it. For us, keeping up means we're thinking ahead of the changes so we can be ready with the groove to aid the transition. Not saying other instruments don't -- I learned that technique on classical piano, actually, not the groove bit but thinking ahead of where you are.

I should probably be ashamed of myself for how many auditions I passed successfully with less effort as a keyboard player, not always having practiced every tune down pat. But as a bassist, you and I can't do that. Maybe somebody can, but most of us can't. It's really critical we have all the songs down, even if the rest of the band doesn't think it's that important. I was just playing with some friends after 30 years. When we were kids, I was a keyboards guy only. One of the guys asked, "Hey man, why do you try and learn everything note perfect?" My simple answer is, even if I don't *play* it note perfect, I'm playing bass. Everyone really notices it when the bass player is just a little bit off. Other instruments can be more forgiving.
So your concerns are well warranted, and you're likely to be the member of the band who wants to rehash parts of songs. Or at least one of the members who does. Plenty of guitar players, drummers, keyboardists, etc. will be just like you, and want to get parts worked out before moving on. But there will be times you're the only member of the band that feels this way. I remember before I'd ever touched a bass how it seemed the bass players were always so spot on with what needed working on. ... and then for other reasons, I began playing bass ...

As to tuning down: I play a five-string so I don't have to, but that means either being really comfortable with the strings, playing in closed position all the time or both. That is an option, it gives you more room. But plenty of four-string players use hipshots on their tuners and other techniques to do it. To be honest, I have real respect for them, because they make it all work well with four strings, and nobody in the audience hears the difference.

Anyhow just some rambling suggestions on a Friday afternoon. But best of luck, and you'll find a group to play with. FWIW, I'm looking myself, and recently didn't work out with a group for entirely different reasons. But the parting was mutual, and I'd definitely go listen to them when they played a club or something.
 
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Don't sweat it. Sometimes things just don't click and it's not necessarily a matter of it being anyone's fault. Part of the reason it's so special when musicians click together is that it's more rare than most people would guess. If there's something you know you could have done better then take your experience as a learning experience and go from there. If not then just brush it off and keep going.
A lot of people are way too mealy mouthed these days. I used to do open mic nights with my bass at my local. I started playing with the house band but they seemed to have a very limited repertoire so I moved on to another open mic regular as he was doing some punk stuff. After a few sessions with him he made excuse that his friend who drummed for him wasn't comfortable with punk rock so that went west. My last opening was with a shadows tribute band. I played a few sessions with them then they messed me round too. Even if I lacked technical skills or experience they could have least given me proper feed back so I had stuff to work on but no. So I know where you are coming from. And no, it's not good for your confidence,I agree.