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Amazing ebay ad

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by BassmanAd, May 29, 2011.

  1. BassmanAd


    Mar 19, 2008
  2. mooreon131


    Mar 16, 2010
    Baltimore, MD
    That item description was one of the funniest things I've read on TB. I wanted to laugh out loud at it, but i'm in the bathroom at the gym, and figure that wouldn't be the wisest of moves... Good job.
  3. That might just be the best thing i've ever seem on ebay, thanks for a good laugh.
  4. snyderz


    Aug 20, 2000
    AZ mountains
    You're on-line...at the bathroom...at the gym?
  5. OlSkewl56


    May 26, 2007
    South Texas
    Aaaannnndddd..... 43 bids so far!
  6. Bassamatic

    Bassamatic keepin' the beat since the 60's Supporting Member

    Very refreshing for its frankness and creativity, but I am surprised eBay didn't censor it!
  7. MikeBass

    MikeBass Supporting Member

    Nov 4, 2003
    Royal, Oak, MI.
    I like level 42......
  8. BassmanAd


    Mar 19, 2008
    This ad has gone viral pretty quick. I wonder if the ex will turn up and claim his goods?
  9. charlie monroe

    charlie monroe Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 14, 2011
    Buffalo, NY
    They have now. "This listing has been removed..."
  10. djero44


    Mar 3, 2009
    Paonia Colorado
    Dang, I needed a good laugh. Remember to copy/paste these so we don't lose them! This one sounded good..
  11. BassmanAd


    Mar 19, 2008
    Yep, looks like ebay have taken it down. I've found the text from the listing copied and pasted on another forum though:

    You are bidding on a collection of 50 (approx) 12" singles and LPs of crap music.

    My sister found these in her attic last weekend, where they has been sat gathering dust for the last couple of decades. They used to belong to her ex-husband, who is one of the biggest arseholes ever to draw breath. I never liked the wanker, and based my initial antipathy towards him on his taste in music. Not to put too fine a point on it, he was that most contemptible form of pond life, a Jazz Funker. This meant that as well as **** taste in music, he had appalling taste in clothes too. Pringle jumpers, pleated Farrahs, shoes that looked like pasties, white socks, revolting shirts and a comical wedge-cut hairdon't. Add to this 80s fashion horrorshow a Ford Capri and Super Mario-style moustache underlining his bulbous nose, and you get an object lesson in twatdom. No wonder Northern Soul fans (and everyone else) treated the Jazz Funk fans with sneering comntempt.

    I couldn't comprehend what on earth my usually sensible sister could possibly see in the pillock. In vain I pleaded with her to send him packing. My argument that his hankering for Earth Wind & Fire records and attendance at soul weekenders made him a poor choice of mate was waved away as the rantings of a callow youth. She felt my reasoning was unsound.

    Reader, she married him.

    He made her life miserable for a few years with his moping, moody belligerence (and playing horrendous records like these). He told her lies and generally behaved like a platinum c*nt. Then he dumped her for his mistress when my sister was four months pregnant.

    It's now nearly 20 years later and I would still like to take a meat tenderizer to his face. But his most horrendous crime, worse than wiring up my granny's shower so it was electrically live, worse even than his infidelity or the awful way he treated my sister, was the fact that he actually liked the abomination known as Jazz Funk. Here is the evidence. What a bastard.

    Well, I suppose I'd better tell you what's for sale, though why you would actually want to own this dreck is beyond me. It's basically music for people who have a deep-seated hatred of music and want to inflict their pain on the world. But here goes nothing.

    He then goes on to list the records, says they're not worth the shipping fee so he'll only allow for a local pickup but only if you agree to stand on his doorstep while his entire family laughs at you.

  12. Ablebasser


    May 16, 2008
    Thank you, this is amazing, hilarious!

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