Angry over a gig

[spudmaster34]

I probably would have punched him in the ovaries.

fixed it for ya

 

[EBMatt]

fixed it for ya

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

 

[rjny36]

fixed it for ya

 

[lonotes]

I especially like this part

I'm not the type to betray my bandmates, but if you're gonna be like that then let me know and I'll begin the replacement process.

I suggest that you encourage him to begin immediately. You'll all be better off.

 

[rjny36]

I suggest that you encourage him to begin immediately. You'll all be better off.

My only response to the email was, "Replace away. I'm done."

 

[Beefbass]

Oh man. I've covered this in the "Is drinkling on the job OK?" threads, but no, it's pretty much never OK because sooner or later, something like this happens.

Reputations take forever to build and only an instant to destroy.

Please don't waste your time being angry. Better to spend your time changing the situation. Dump this clown. If the other members of your band don't agree, then go find yourself another band because I guarantee you, something like this is going to happen again with your lead singer. And again. And again. It's only a matter of time and you're not gonna want to be there when it happens.

+1

I would just look for a new band for two reasons;

It is apparent that there will always be tension between you and this singer, if he sticks around. There goes any enjoyment right out the window.

Since the band couldn't make a unanimous decision on the spot to get rid of this guy, maybe they don't all agree that this guy has a problem. Sure, they may have said something at the time in response to your feeling about what happened.
But if you've got anybody on the fence about it at this point, it can only lead to trouble later. It could turn into a "him and his guys vs you and everyone else." Again, all the fun goes right out the window.

Especially seeing how this caused you to be so angry, you couldn't sleep, and just paced around for awhile afterwards. That's not worth it IMHO.

Well, no matter what happens, I hope that all works out for you in the future

 

[mikael182]

wow, i'm suprised none of you tackled him while he was embarassing the whole band. i think whatever happens you should never badmouth anybody. my band's had 4 replacements (the singer's the only original member left) already and we still have attitude issues. good luck to you guys

 

[SBassman]

I think the key theme in his e-mail is his indications that he's allowed to pick and choose which bars/crowds/situations are worthy of professionalism and which are not.

This guy has Loser written all over him.
I'd never step on a stage with him again. Period.

 

[lonotes]

Of course, you could begin to book nothing but biker bars.
That might just sort things out rather quickly.

 

[Steve]

Why didn't you grab him by the scruff of his neck and shut him up when he was being a moron on stage?

Most of the guys I work with would have walked up to him with a smile on their face, nodded a couple of times and whispered in his ear that if he didn't shut his pie hole he would be leaving the gig in the back of an ambulance.

 

[GravitiesBass]

I think the key theme in his e-mail is his indications that he's allowed to pick and choose which bars/crowds/situations are worthy of professionalism and which are not.

+1

all gigs are worthy. You never know who's going to be there. If I knew someone was half assing it in my band at certain shows that would be enough to get them fired. Throw in being overly drunk and making an ass out himself and the band at a gig and out the door they go.

 

[Cuz'n Eddie]

You sound like a class act, dude. You're doing the right thing. 25 years ago I was the drunk in the band. The guys gave me plenty of chances, but finally had to dump me. They did the right thing. They went on to do well. Best wishes to your band!

 

[hbarcat]

I wasted two years of my time sticking with and making excuses for a drummer who was very, very good when sober and very unprofessional when drunk, which was often. We went through two rhythm guitarists and three lead guitarists because they were wise enough to bail out of the doomed stiuation way before I wised up. He would never admit that he had a booze problem but he DID admit to "...acting a little too aggessive, that's just my personality". He would promise to lighten up and then actually be good for a few weeks and then back to being an A-hole in front of paying customers. We were trying to establish ourselves as a quality act, and often, after shows when some fans would come up to us and compliment our show he would insult them and curse at them in a slurred voice telling them that they didn't know s*** about real music like HE did because he was a real musician and they were just idiot consumers and blah blah blah, because he drank too much during the show and became surly. Two years wasted and nobody had a good time because everything was always tense and it sucked.

My current band, that I've been happy with for almost two years, has an unbreakable rule that we all follow because we've all been burned in a similar way by selfish bandmates; Always act professional and give the audience your best, NO MATTER WHAT. If that means we have to pretend that playing a freebee just for the exposure, to an uninterested crowd at some podunk festival is fun, than so be it. And if we have to cut ourselves off from unlimited free mixed drinks so we don't get sloppy, then that's too bad.

You and the rest of your bandmates should consider that it's supposed to be enjoyable AND profitable, and if you make excuses for drunken unprofessionalism, then it will be neither.

 

[da_wabbit]

life's too short to remain in situations that make you unhappy ..... there are TONS of musicians out there that are mentally/musically professional and know what it takes to make a band work

go with your gut (which is what seems to be happening here) and have fun with a profession that is meant to be nothing less

 

[rjny36]

As a little update: both the drummer and I are done with the band. The lead guitarist is going to be sticking around, I think, which is his decision to make. I've got three offers on the table, at the moment. Plus I got a new (higher-paying!) regular job, so I'll have even more extra $$$ to put towards music gear.

I agree: music is supposed to be fun, and life's too short to put up with things that aren't worth putting up with.

 

[Carlo Tanori]

After about half an hour, it was time for us to get up and play, so we got up there, plugged in, tuned up and were ready to rock. Our singer during this time was completely inebriated, and decided to announce our presence with a long string of expletives... something that did not at all suit the venue or the "pop" crowd we were playing for! He continued to badmouth the other band and their equipment (into the mic, so everyone could hear!) throwing in as many curse words as his vocabulary contains through the rest of the show.

The entire crowd at the bar left, and the other band went outside to leave us to an empty bar. I can't say I blame the band or the crowd! I was so angry, as well as embarassed and ashamed, that I unplugged and packed up... I went and apologized personally to all the members of the other band, who were extremely gracious and kind in accepting my apologies, and were the true pinnacle of professionalism at a time when nobody would have blamed them for paying us back with some of what our singer had dished out!

When I got home, I sent an email of apology to the entire band (which, again, responded very kindly and graciously in light of what had happened), and to the promoter.

This morning I've issued an ultimatum with our singer, saying that if he plans on drinking and acting the way he did, then I'm done, and will cancel our shows. The drummer and lead guitarist have said the same...

I'm more angry and embarassed than I can possibly say!

Sorry for the extremely long post! Just had to get this off my chest!

Dude, I feel for you. Glad you kept your composure while apologizing to the other group. I want you to know (not saying ALL singers are like this but)...... EVERY band I've been in, I repeat, EVERY band......singer issues! If its not drinking, its attitude, if its not attitude, its communicating, etc., etc.