So, what I'm getting at here is really FINE TUNING. I was looking for a specific method to strengthen one's internal beat. Maybe I should have posted in the "technique" forum?
Like a bunch of people said before count. The reason why pros rarely miss a downbeat is they learned to count early. If the drummer is playing all sorts of syncopation your only hope is to learn to internalize the subdivisions of every beat.
As far as a metronome exercise you could try this one. first of all the obvious if you do not have a metronome that subdivides get one like last month!!! This is essential. I would look on ebay for a DB-66 if you don't have one - its super accurate, loud as hell and can subdivide all sorts of ways. If you do, good, use it to it's full potential. I like to play with mine in all sorts of ways.
First of course set the beat to click on every down beat, then the up beat with a silent downbeat, then the "e" or "a". (Using 1-e-and-a, 2-e-and-a, etc to subdivide every beat into sixteenth notes. I'm sure you knew that but in case you were wondering what the hell I was talking about with this "a" and "e" nonsense.) If you want to take it to 32nds thats cool but I don't really think you need to divide further. Triplets, quintuplets, sextuplets would be good too. You could also try quarter or half note triplets whatever you have trouble with. After you nail this in all manner of tempos which could take days, weeks or even months depending on how far along you are and how much you practice, start taking beats away.
Have it click only on 2 and 4. Then only on 1. Then only on the "a" of 4 or the "and" of 3 etc. Then you can really stretch it and start going over bars. For example set it to click on the "a" of beat three in every third bar. Or on the 2 of every 32nd bar etc.
This will also open up a world of possibilities for your own improvisations. You may think the drummer is the timekeeper but really everyone involved is responsible for time. Hope that helps.
As awesome as that is, it can be very hard to follow during a drum solo, and I performed with this guy in a jam band. I just have to get used to playing with drummers like that.